Wikipedia:Peer review/Runaways (comics)/archive1

Runaways (comics)

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for December 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because with a lot of work, I feel it can be built into a good article. It will also be a first for Wiki- a main comic book article as a GA. However, since I have no examples to look at but GA comic book characters, I might need some help and other opinions.

Thanks in advance, -- A ^talk/_contribs 18:54, 31 December 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article and sounds like an interesting comic, here are some suggestions for improvement.

• Per WP:OVERLINK, avoid repetitive links - for example Pride (comics) is linked twice in the lead and twice more in the article, and its Members section is linked for each of the parents. My rule of thumb is to have a link in the lead once and then perhaps once more in the next mention in the body / text.
• Some things that could be linked, like Deinonychus for Old Lace, are not. Done
• I would include more about the group in the first paragraph of the lead than just The series features a group of teenagers who discover that their parents are part of an evil crime group called the Pride. Perhaps The series features a group of teenagers who become a team of dysfunctional superheroes after discovering that their parents are part of an evil crime group called the Pride. You get the idea (hopefully)
• The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but there are several sections that do not seem to be in the lead, such as Alternate versions. Please see WP:LEAD
• There are several short (one or two sentence) paragraphs and sections that should be combined with others or perhaps expanded to improve the flow of the article.
• Article needs a copyedit throughout to meet the professional Englsih FAC criterion. For example Ever since the original groups' introduction, the Runaways have been portrayed as a somewhat dysfunctional yet loving family. should be Ever since the original group's introduction... or watch tense changes in things like After creator Vaughan leaves the series, Joss Whedon conducts his run (plagued with delays)... I can undertsand describing the plot of the comic books in present tense, but this is not the plot of the books.
• Biggest omission I can see is no critical reception section - some reviews mentioned in the article, but info on this should be in one place, expanded, with info on sales, awards, etc.
• Avoid things like Current and now and currently - use as of January 2009 (things get out of date quickly otherwise).
• Another thing to watch out for is writing from an in-universe perspective, see WP:IN-U.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 16:49, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments by Hornoir:

I have to agree with Ruhrfisch's overall commentary, with a few additional remarks.

1. The first paragraph lead omits one simple, yet important, bit of information: that the kids run-away from home after discovering their parents are The Pride. It is, after all, where the title of the series comes from.
2. Expand Plot summary/Main series. I'd advise altering this to a plot summary by story arc.
3. Alternate versions could be a single paragraph or two, instead of split by subheading.
4. Merge the two collected editions tables into one, make the oversized hardcover entries span multiple rows.
5. The References list is a strange amalgam of citation template use and not; standardize it please.
6. With a Reference list this long, I'd advise towards a two column layout so that it doesn't take up as much room in the actual article's length.
7. Merge the two References sections together.

Hope this helps you. hornoir (talk) 12:16, 14 January 2009 (UTC)