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Wikipedia:Peer review/Shanda Sharer murder case/archive1

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Hello, what would be needed to get this article up to featured status? Would one reference source be sufficent?; I realize that the sentencing section should be expanded. ۝ ۞ ░ 07:08, 31 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Automated Peer Review

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The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, Davnel03 11:57, 31 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

This isn't a full peer review, but might help get things started.

  1. Sources (!!) - First, sources are a definite problem here. There is only one full reference and it's in the middle of the list. Maybe list that separately under "References," then add a separate subsection for "Footnotes." There are also no citations at all for the "Sentencing" section. More important, though, this article desperately needs multiple sources. For the length of the article and the number of citations, I'd recommend at least 6 different independent, credible sources (books, articles, web sites, etc). See WP:CITE for ideas.
  2. Introduction - The introduction should literally introduce the entirety of the article, summarizing all the content that is to come. It should be 10 times as long as it is right now, at least.
  3. Tone- The article, I think, also occasionally falls into an inappropriate tone. Look at the "Investigation" part for example. "All morning" is not encyclopedic, and "hysterical" may not be objective. It seems a little too conversational, but that might be just me.
  4. "Aftermath?" - I also wonder about the "Aftermath" section. I was expecting some kind of impact on the persons involved or something, not a brief mention of a couple books (with no critical comparison to the true events they relate). A better section heading, perhaps?
  5. Long Sentences - As a final suggestion, re-read the whole article for sentences that are a bit too long (reading aloud usually helps identify them).

I hope this gives a place to start! --Midnightdreary 22:49, 5 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]