Wikipedia:Peer review/Shraddha Kapoor/archive2

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

Shraddha Kapoor[edit]

Previous peer review
(more info)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because i suspect there are many errors since i am new to Wiki

Thanks, Smauritius diR mWa!! 09:39, 7 December 2013 (UTC)

Comments by Neonchameleon[edit]

  • Being picky (my first attempt at Peer Review), the lede appears entirely without references (despite needing them - especially for the award, and you probably want to use the award she actually won) - and "several brands or products" - which ones?
    • Just as a drive by comment, the lead does not need references as long as the information is backed up elsewhere in the article, which the award is. Samwalton9 (talk) 15:12, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
  • The infobox uses three references to establish her date of birth.
  • Paragraph two (about her parents) appears disjoint and to not flow; you could jumble up the sentences and it would look neither better nor worse.
  • The career - what does "failed" mean with respect to the box office? Did poorly would be better. And you need references for awards (or the same award again).
  • "Major box office triumph" - again feels like wp:Peacock - more balanced would be better - or figures.
  • Your second reference here ([23]) appears broken?
  • Hope some of that helped?