Wikipedia:Peer review/Social model of disability/archive1

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Social model of disability[edit]

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it has recently undergone substantial expansion and has also had many references added. I don't think it is still a Start class article.

Thanks, Roger (talk) 07:21, 21 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this interesting article, here are some suggestions for improvement.

  • I do not think the bold face type used in the hatnote "For specific activity related to implementation of certain aspects of this model, see the article Inclusion (disability rights) and the other articles and links there." meets WP:ITALIC
  • Capitalization - is it "The social model of disability" or "The Social model of disability"? - both are used
  • Make sure the lead follows WP:LEAD. It should probably be longer than one paragraph, and should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article.
  • Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. As a summary, my rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way
  • Quotation marks should be double quotes "like this" and not single quotes 'like this' per WP:MOSQUOTE. SIngle quotes are used only for a quote within a quote.
  • In History this statement is problematic The approach behind the model is traced to the 1960s. since it does not go into any detail. What was it that led to the development of the model? The first details are given for 1975.
  • Problems with this: Oliver did not intend the 'social model of disability' to be an all encompassing theory of disability, rather a starting point in reframing how society views disability. First off try to avoid short (one or two sentence) paragraphs - combine them with others, or perhaps expand them. Second, it needs a reference.
  • My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
  • Not all references have complete information. Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
  • Avoid the passive voice. If possible identify who is making the statements quoted or paraphrased It is often contended that this attitude, often seen as stemming from a medical model and a subjective value system, can harm the self-esteem and social inclusion of those constantly subjected to it ...
  • Most bullet point lists might be better as regular prose
  • Is there more than one model or multiple bases for the model? This seems to imply there is The social model of disability is often based on a distinction between the terms 'impairment' and 'disability.'
  • How does the ADA relate to the social model? Not clear from what is stated here.
  • How about countries other than the UK and USA?
  • Any chance for a free image or images?
  • See also is generally for links that have not already appeared in the article. I do not think the same link should be in a hat note and see also.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:57, 2 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]