Wikipedia:Peer review/United Abominations/archive1

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United Abominations[edit]

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have worked on it the last couple of days and plan to take it to FAC. This is the first album article I have rewritten.

Thanks, —Burningclean [Speak the truth!] 04:29, 5 February 2008 (UTC)

  • A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 15:16, 5 February 2008 (UTC)

Vox Humana 8'[edit]

Hiya - found a number of issues of style, spelling and grammar in the article: I have tried to fix all of them. If there's anything obvious I've missed, fix it yourself - if there's anything you disagree with, revert and take it up with me.--Vox Humana 8' 00:08, 11 February 2008 (UTC)

I would generally agree with J Milburn's comments on the matter. This is a long way off GA, never mind FA. Still, what are we here for? We're here to get it there...--Vox Humana 8' 14:19, 11 February 2008 (UTC)

J Milburn[edit]

Not a fan of Megadeth, at all, but happy to go ahead and give a read and a review. Also, I found myself being really picky about phrasing, so I'll just go ahead and change that myself. Article has also been edited by User:Vox Humana 8', who I was talking to while writing this review.

  • I'd remove that banner- it's ugly, and honestly don't think it would help improve the article.
  • If we can't have a link for the Kerrang! review, can we have a ref?
  • "at the time" At what time?
  • "When Mustaine was asked in an interview why the lyrics" Interview with who, from where?
  • "When Lomenzo was asked" Who's Lomenzo?
  • "Big Fish Encinitas, California and Backstage Productions" Where or what is Backstage Productions?
  • "The recording line up comprised" Repetition of 'line up' sounds poor.
  • "Appearing at track 11, "A Tout le Monde (Set Me Free)" is a remake of "A Tout le Monde" originally appearing on the 1994 album Youthanasia." Sorry, why are we suddenly talking about that?
  • Not sure the "Gears of War" stuff belongs in that section...
  • "Mustaine stated "We're putting" Where did he state that?
  • "The completed album was leaked on to the internet in April 2007" Ref?
  • "received its official release on May 14, 2007. The first pressing of the album, released exclusively in Japan on May 8, contained a cover of the Led Zeppelin song "Out on the Tiles".[11] The album was released internationally on May 15 and a day later in the United States." Wow, what? Slow down. Chronological order. It was released in Japan on the 8th, then [where?] on the 14th, then somewhere on 15th ('internationally' isn't fair- you're writing too much from a US perspective- 'internationally', to me, generally means 'in Germany'...) and finally, the US on the 16th. Right?
  • "Finland, five in Canada" Can we have links to those countries, please?
  • "which will last until March 2008." Is due to- let's not say things are guaranteed to happen.
  • "Lacuna Coil, and" Link?
  • "prog-worthy chops" Link to progressive metal? I assume that is what is meant? It's late...
  • I am really not sure about that Mydenrocks interview- as long as we can be certain that it is genuine, we can reference the comments of Mustaine, but who's this Dave Myden character? Just some dude with a Blogspot account?

This really isn't your best, FA is a long, long way off. It really is lacking something, and I'm not sure what. Or maybe it's just me. Or maybe it's just because it's Megadeth. :) Seriously though, I wouldn't nominate for GA quite yet, nevermind FAC. Have a look around for some more sources, see what else you can find. There must be loads of good sources for something like this. J Milburn (talk) 00:09, 11 February 2008 (UTC)

This is my first album article, so I don't quite have the hang of it yet. I am not nominating it for anything yet. I will work on this in a little while. —Burningclean [Speak the truth!] 18:09, 11 February 2008 (UTC)

M3tal H3ad[edit]

  • Don't start the body of the article with a quote, move the unsigned thing before the quote
  • When Lomenzo was asked about, you need to introduce him
  • Shouldnt the picture of Cristina be in the section that talks about her?
  • United Abominations was originally set for an October 2006 release date
  • remove comma after but -Done.
  • received its official release on May 14, 2007. The first pressing of the album, released exclusively in Japan on May 8, contained a cover of the Led Zeppelin song "Out on the Tiles".[11] The album was released internationally on May 15 and a day later in the United States. A week after its release
  • starting in Canada opening for Heaven and Hell and Down, then in the U.S.A.,and a North America tour again opening for Heaven and Hell and also touring with Machine Head.
  • and often stated as a return to form for Megadeth. By who? and it's missing a word after and
  • gave the album a 7.5 out of ten possible points 7.5 out of 10
  • All Music Guide and Blabbermouth shouldnt be in italics
  • reviewer, Chad Bower - it's Chad Bowar
  • The album was voted the best metal album of 2007 in the March 2008 issue of Guitar World. - by the readers of the magazine
  • pointing out false accusations as being such - eh?
  • 2008 - lasting - em dash
  • reflist|2

That's about it, good work. M3tal H3ad (talk) 02:26, 13 February 2008 (UTC)