Wikipedia:Peer review/Weight Gain 4000/archive1

Weight Gain 4000[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'm going to pursue an FAC for it, in keeping with the South Park featured topic drive. The content and sourcing is all there, I think, but I want to make sure it all works grammatically. Thanks! — Hunter Kahn _(c) 04:02, 17 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from indopug—

I think this needs polishing and restructuring before it is ready for FAC. Many of my comments seem to be applicable here as well:

Not a fan of either of the images, I think they can both be replaced by better ones—

I think the image of Cartman when he is blown up Jabba the Hutt-proportions, on national television will be far better than the current one. As an add-on, the caption "Eric Cartman: Fat Ass" is awesome.
Non-free pics of living people are almost never allowed on Wikipedia. Instead, why not have a pic of Gifford in her Popemobile alongside this? The Popemobile is also discussed in the text.

I suggest thoroughly running through the article yourself once. Since you haven't edited the article in a month, you will have some unfamiliarity with the text, and will spot many of the errors I now find.

Watch out for sentences/paragraphs where you use the same word too many times, it doesn't make for good reading. "Nevertheless, several reviewers felt "Weight Gain 4000" was a significant improvement over the first episode, Cartman Gets an Anal Probe, and felt it went in a much more satirical direction."
"With the series was still in its earliest stages, the episode continued to shock many due to the characters frequent use of profanities".

Refer to Kathie Lee Gifford as "Gifford", not "Kathie Lee". indopug (talk) 11:38, 18 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]