Wikipedia:Please bite the newbies
|This page is intended as humor. It is not, has never been, nor will ever be, a Wikipedia policy or guideline.|
Rather, it illustrates standards or conduct that are generally not accepted by the Wikipedia community.
|This page in a nutshell: Please be as mean to others as possible, especially the newcomers. Remember to assume bad faith. Material considered too civil may be challenged and removed.|
New members often seem all sweetness and light at first, but most turn out to be vandals and bad-faith editors at the end. Therefore, it is very important to assume bad faith and bite them. Hard.
Definition of a 'newbie'
In general, a newbie is an editor who joined Wikipedia this very moment. However, some say that any Wikipedia member that joined after 2001 is a newbie. Therefore, we must learn to bite each other and even ourselves – even if you have been editing Wikipedia since Jimbo Wales came.
How to bite a newbie
- Assume bad faith
- Use very strong words
- Confuse them with Wikipedia jargon
- Revert their edits, even if they are constructive (make sure to use edit summaries such as "reverting vandalism", "reverting troll" and "reverting sockpuppet", even if they are reverting vandalism themselves).
- Tag their articles for (preferably speedy) deletion
- Report them to the administrators' noticeboard
- Threaten to put them on trial at ArbCom (or even actually do it)
- Respond to their reports of problems in articles by telling them they have to do it in a "change X to Y format"
If you have succeeded in biting newbies, be sure to add the following userboxes to your userpage:
- Wikipedia:Newcomers are delicious, so go ahead and bite them
- Wikipedia:Give 'em enough rope, and they'll hang themselves
...what the hell is this?
- Dragon (mp4) (streaming video). Homestarrunnerdotcom. 31 Mar 2009. Event occurs at 2m15s minutes in. Retrieved 27 March 2015. Comedic illustration of abusive article deletion.