Wikipedia:Please bite the newbies

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WikiVampires love to feast on the newbies.

Wikipedia always has lots of newcomers that drive you up the wall. We must be extremely hostile to them in order to have them understand the true meaning of Wikipedia.

New members often seem all sweetness and light at first, but most turn out to be vandals and bad-faith editors at the end. Therefore, it is very important to assume bad faith and bite them. Hard.

Definition of a 'newbie'[edit]

In general, a newbie is an editor who joined Wikipedia this very moment. However, some say that any Wikipedia member that joined after 2001 is a newbie. Therefore, we must learn to bite each other and even ourselves – even if you have been editing Wikipedia since Jimbo Wales came.

How to bite a newbie[edit]

Please bite
the newbies
  • Assume bad faith
  • Use very strong words
  • Confuse them with Wikipedia jargon
  • Revert their edits, even if they are constructive (make sure to use edit summaries such as "reverting vandalism", "reverting troll" and "reverting sockpuppet", even if they are reverting vandalism themselves).
  • Tag their articles for (preferably speedy) deletion[1]
  • Report them to the administrators' noticeboard
  • Threaten to put them on trial at ArbCom (or even actually do it)
  • Respond to their reports of problems in articles by telling them they have to do it in a "change X to Y format"


If you have succeeded in biting newbies, be sure to add the following userboxes to your userpage:

Code Result
WikiVampires.JPGThis user enjoys biting newbies and vandals.
{{User:Kayau/Bite you}}
WikiVampires.JPGThis user enjoys biting newbies and vandals, and you are the next.

See also[edit]

...what the hell is this?


  1. ^ Dragon (mp4) (streaming video). Homestarrunnerdotcom. 31 Mar 2009. Event occurs at 2m15s minutes in. Retrieved 27 March 2015. Comedic illustration of abusive article deletion.