Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 June 29

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Face_2_Face_The_Movie[edit]

The Following article is about an upcoming Movie "Face 2 Face". Would like to get some feedback on it. reliable sources have been used. Thank you!

this is probably just a matter of personal taste, but I find the left floating images make the text hard to read, maybe you could consider putting them in gallery?
The external links should be named
Hope this helps, --Michael-se (talk) 18:28, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Djnair (talk) 04:02, 29 June 2011 (UTC)Djnair

User:Pyrocatch/US-Canada_Radio_Frequency_Coordination_Lines[edit]

This is a draft of a new article (my first) about the radio frequency coordination zone along the border between the United States and Canada. I would appreciate some general feedback on the content and style. Pyrocatch (talk) 04:11, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Hey, getting more reliable references on the different lines might help & prevent the article from being tagged by wikipedia. Lapatronne (talk) 18:02, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Brasilia Digital TV Tower[edit]

This is an article on Brasilia's new building designed by architect Oscar Niemeyer. Niemeyer, as it can be seen on his biography, is a well known architect, one of the very few still alive from the modernism movement. However, there are not many sources of information avaliable and most of the very few sources are in Portuguese. Is this a big problem? I think in the near future, upon the opening of the tower, the press is going to talk about the new structure.

Jgsodre (talk) 05:35, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Yes, it could be considered a big problem & your article might be tagged by wikipedia if the article does not have enough resources, or if it is too short. You could try putting references from the portuguese sources to see if that helps. Lapatronne (talk) 18:05, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

User:M.watterson2/McLaughlin and Harvey Ltd[edit]

Can someone please check this article and let me know if it is suitable to go live. If you think any changes need to be made can you please list them on the discussion page of the article. I realise that there is little information, but the last article i did on McLaughlin and Harvey had alot of issues and i want to get this one right before I upload it.

Thanks for your help.

M.watterson2 (talk) 10:29, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

You're right, there is little info & your article might get tagged as irrelevant or something along the lines of that. But it looks good so far, just add more reliable resources because wikipedia is really huge on that. Lapatronne (talk) 18:10, 29 June 2011 (UTC)


Can an admin user look at this page and tell me what tags they would put on it if it was made live. What issues does it have? M.watterson2 (talk) 08:13, 30 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Paulecotricity/Snapper (Wave Power)[edit]

Just checking I'm on the right track with this - any feedback appreciated - I'm pretty new here!

Paulecotricity (talk) 14:00, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Hey, the article looks good so far but you might want to add more reliable references to the different sections in the article or it might get tagged. Lapatronne (talk) 18:13, 29 June 2011 (UTC)
Thanks for having a look Lapatronne - there's quite a few articles out there about 'snapper' - I'll do some more work on choosing ones that emphasise the notability of the device --Paulecotricity (talk) 15:03, 1 July 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Dankelly83/Hillarys_Blinds[edit]

Dankelly83 (talk) 15:49, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Hey, your article needs more references because wikipedia is really strict about that. Lapatronne (talk) 18:14, 29 June 2011 (UTC)
Reads like an advert. Has no assertion of notability. Has no wikilinks. Lacks sufficient references from reliable sources and the references that are there are not formatted properly (see WP:REFBEGIN for guidance). Hell, I nearly proposed it for deletion, but thought it best to give you a chance to fix things first. Astronaut (talk) 16:40, 30 June 2011 (UTC)

Causes of Major Mental Disorders[edit]

Jeanblanc (talk) 15:56, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Elvira Saadi[edit]

I am submitting this short, sourced article about U.S.S.R gymnast-turned Canadian coach Elvira Saadi for feedback. Thanks for your help!


Seandalytx (talk) 16:00, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Hello. I made a few changes to the article here. Some tips and a breakdown of my changes below:
  • I have added an infobox to the article. You can help fill it in. See Template:Infobox gymnast for additional instructions.
  • I have changed your references to be more human-readable. For future articles, you might want to read Wikipedia:Referencing for beginners with citation templates.
  • The language you used may not be appropriate. Please keep the tone of the article neutral per Wikipedia's Neutral-Point-of-View policy. Avoid overly praising or overly critical wording.
  • In the future, please "wikify" relevant links to point to other articles in Wikipedia (these are the blue links you see in the body of articles, they're called 'wikilinks'). See Wikipedia:Manual of Style (linking) for additional info.
-- ObsidinSoul 17:01, 3 July 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for your help and improvements to the article! I have made several edits to remove the non-encyclopedic writing style of two sentences. I will review the links you provided so that I can better handle citations, links and infoboxes.

User:Benlindquist/Theory_of_Innovation_by_Memory_Error[edit]

Would like someone to follow up and refine this entry enough to then publish it. If it needs more help contact me about what it needs but don't delete please.


Benlindquist (talk) 16:16, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Hey, because your article is too short & with little or no realiable references, it might get tagged as irrelevant or get deleted. Lapatronne (talk) 18:16, 29 June 2011 (UTC)
To clarify, a short article is fine, but you need to cite sources other editors can use to verify the information. Without these, the article will be deleted if it moves to main space. So please add some first. Take a look at existing articles with "References" sections for examples. If this is just our ownn personal theory, then it also does not belong. W Nowicki (talk) 17:28, 3 July 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dryer_%28band%29[edit]

Hi I am requesting feedback for this page that I made on the band Dryer from Saratoga Springs, NY: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dryer_%28band%29

A short summary of the article follows: Dryer is an American rock 'n' roll band from Saratoga Springs, New York, USA. Formed in 1992, the three members of the band are Bob Carlton (guitar, vocals), Joel Lilley (drums, vocals), and Rachael Sunday (bass, vocals). The article consists of some touring history, other bands on same bill, former members, and a comprehensive discography. The band is notable for several reasons, including that they've recorded on indie labels that have recorded other successful bands, e.g. Fake Chapter records.

Eckmann (talk) 16:17, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Does this band independently meet the notability criteria for inclusion in the encyclopedia? Remember that notability is not inherited, so arguing that "they've recorded on indie labels that have recorded other successful bands" is not really meeting the criteria. Astronaut (talk) 16:48, 30 June 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for checking out the page. I believe the band independently meets the notability criteria for inclusion. They clearly meet criteria 1 which is "Has been the subject of multiple, non-trivial, published works appearing in sources that are reliable and are independent from the musician or ensemble itself." They've been written up non-trivially in several publications which I've referenced in the article as well as plenty in print which I don't have handy (when I get them I'd add them --- for instance they were in Maximum Rock 'n' Roll, Thumb Magazine, an Athen's GA local music magazine when they were touring, etc.) They meet criteria 4 which is: "Has received non-trivial coverage in independent reliable sources of an international concert tour, or a national concert tour in at least one sovereign country." They meet criteria 5 which is: "Has released two or more albums on a major label or on one of the more important indie labels" They meet criteria 10 which is: "Has performed music for a work of media that is notable," --- they've been on several compilation albums as well as a soundtrack to a major motion picture (documentary America the Beautiful). If you agree, let me know when I can take off the "new unreviewed article template" at the top of the page. Thanks so much. Eckmann (talk) 17:11, 30 June 2011 (UTC)

I suppose my concerns are: On tour, were they headlining or simply one of the support acts to a more notable band? Just how major are 'Paint chip', 'Tramp' and 'Fake Chapter'? I certainly wouldn't call a movie that was shown in just 5 screens and takes just $3,125 on its opening weekend, "a major motion picture". Astronaut (talk) 16:06, 4 July 2011 (UTC)
In regards to touring, Dryer headlined many tours but also played on smaller shows with less known bands. They were more of a supporting act on many large tours and shows. In regards to how major the labels are, they are not major labels. They are indie labels. Fake Chapter is the only one of the labels that is still operating. The owner of Fake Chapter probably thinks it's a pretty important indie label. Many of Fake Chapters bands have wikipedia pages and they mention Fake Chapter Records on them, e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arms_and_Sleepers http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miles_Hunt http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DMBQ Dryer has been written up in small magazines as well as many bigger music trade magazines. As for the film, America the Beautiful played at more than 20 film festivals worldwide and was reviewed by many major film reviewers including Roger Ebert: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1040007/externalreviews You don't have to call it a major motion picture, that's fine, but at least according to wikipedia it is notable. The criterion I was addressing is this: "Has performed music for a work of media that is notable" Apparently this film is notable enough to have its own wikipedia entry. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/America_the_Beautiful_%28film%29 Eckmann (talk) 02:10, 6 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Vjhamilton/Wascana review[edit]

This is a starter page for a small literary magazine. Does it seem reasonable? (I will replace the cover picture with a new shot once I upload it.) It is modelled on a recent new page, for Windsor Review.

Vjhamilton (talk) 16:19, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Make sure you have the correct copyright settings for the magazine cover when you upload it - ie: don't try to claim it as your own work. Astronaut (talk) 16:51, 30 June 2011 (UTC)
Astronaut, thanks for your comment. I went to the library with my camera to get an original shot but could not get a new snapshot of the periodical with the cover. Therefore, I uploaded the image with (a) mention of the source URL for it and (b) explanation of the exemption from the copyright policy, as given on the Wiki page. Hope everything is in order.

Jamie Korngold[edit]

Please review my article Jamie Korngold. Thanks!

Dante8 (talk) 17:10, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Hey, the article may be tagged for deletion because it is too short & has little or no reliable references. Lapatronne (talk) 18:20, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Michael-se/BaseX_(database)[edit]

Feedback on this article is very welcome. It contains general information on the BaseX XML database and I'd like to link from the relevant pages(XML database, XQuery and the like).

Thanks a lot for having a look.

Feedback is still welcome, the article moved to BaseX


Michael-se (talk) 18:09, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Lutherpublications/Thomas_Kraabel[edit]

First Wikipedia article written, looking on feedback about its layout and linked words for other topics. Thanks.


Lutherpublications (talk) 18:51, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Joel Eric Suben Submission for Review[edit]

I'd like to submit this article for review. I was asked to create it by a friend of a friend for a colleague of hers, who is the subject of the article. He was seeking a neutral outside party to compose and upload it. I am hopeful that it is closely in line with the style guide requirements, as I tried to be painstaking and worked on it for some time. I am very confident that the resources are adequate; I worked from a huge media file compiled by the composer over the course of his career. I'm worried, however, that it is excessively wordy. Thoughts?

Likemarigold (talk) 19:15, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Aveos Fleet Performance Inc.[edit]

Hello, I wanted to know if someone could review this new article and then remove the unreviewed template. Thank you

Alfred ban (talk) 19:40, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

User:T6umaw3u/Flexible_stone_veneer[edit]

Just wanting to make sure I'm on the right track. I know I need more sources, still tracking them down. Any general feedback, especially on copy editing, would be greatly appreciated.


-Chris (talk) 20:19, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Reesrodgers/Kassie_Tyers[edit]

I created an article on this musician before, but it was not well written or sourced and subsequently removed. This is a completely altered version, re-written with questionable refrences and links removed. I am interested in recieving feedback on whether the article is quality enough to be included on wikipedia now. I have also included on the talk page why I believe the singer should be included. Any feedback as to improvement of article would be well appreciated.

Reesrodgers (talk) 00:36, 30 June 2011 (UTC)

I didn't see the previous version, but have you read the notability criteria for musicians and checked whether the article demonstrates sufficient notability? Other then that, there were a few manual of style issues and superfluous external links which I have cleaned up. The references would be better if they used the citation templates rather then being just links. I also found some of the wording a little odd - for example: "... makes music as ministry to the hurts of young women" and "...God made them and loves them very much"; if these are direct quotes from the sources or organization slogans, they should be identified as such with quotation marks. And I've never heard of the congregation leaders being called the "church's worship team" before. Astronaut (talk) 17:19, 30 June 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for your help on this article. I have checked notability criteria and included an argument in favor of the article on the discussion page. Thanks for cleaning up those sections, it sounds better with the changes you made. I am new here and I'm not sure what the citation template is, but will check it out as soon as I can. I have include quotation in the sections required as they are direct quotes from the source articles and not my own wording. Not sure about the phrase "church's worhip team" either. I have changed it to read "at her church on the worship team". Not too sure of the phasing on that also, suggestions are welcome, but from what I understand is that this church has a large band of sorts that she started out singin with. Any further suggestions from yourself or others will be appreciated. Would like to see at least 10 people have a look at it before I submit it to the main article page.Reesrodgers (talk) 19:29, 30 June 2011 (UTC)