Wikipedia:WikiProject Tropical cyclones/Assessment/Hurricane Florence (1994)

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Hurricane Florence (1994)[edit]

Archived discussion. Current status: {{GA-Class}}

Could have been put up earlier, nothing left to do since there was no impact. All thoughts and comments welcome. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 02:22, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

  • Support - Good enough for A-Class. I'd suggest giving it a final copyedit if/when you want to send it to FAC, though. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 15:50, 11 March 2009 (UTC)
  • Oppose, for now. First, there are no other A-class articles with as little information as Florence outside of the MH. The closest is Hurricane Danny (2003), and that doesn't even go into all of the naming trivia. Yes, the naming stuff is fluff, as it doesn't exactly pertain to the article. The writing isn't the best, either. There are too many linking verbs or passive voice, especially in the first paragraph, where only one sentence does not contain either. You don't even mention the NHC, which I found slightly odd. Examples of bad writing/errors:
    • Minor intensification
    • leading to Eleven - don't name depressions by their numbers
    • By the afternoon of November 4, Florence completed its transition into a tropical cyclone - that comes several lines after the first mention of it being a TD.
    • to quickly intensity - don't use split infinitives
    • with winds increasing by 20 mph (30 km/h) in a 6 hour time period - that comes after a semicolon, which is a sentence fragment. Please fix.
    • foreword - you use that several times, but dictionary.com defines that as a noun, "preface, prolusion" - did you mean to use the much more common adjective/adverb "forward"?
    • As the low moved further to the east - which low? There is no mention of a low.
    • Later that morning, Florence had developed a large, 35 to 40 mi (55 to 65 km/h) wide eye and the foreword motion continued to increase - first, dashes would be good. Second, there doesn't seem to be much relation between the first idea and second idea - try and fix that. Third, maybe try and rewrite the bit about the eye size to make it sound more natural, such as "a large eye with a diameter of...". Fourth, does "later that morning" refer to UTC time, or local time? Lastly, I didn't think km/h was a conversion of mi :P
    • "was causing the storm to move towards the northwest" - orly? The track map seems to show its motion was to the northeast.
  • Sorry, but too much to do. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:49, 12 March 2009 (UTC)