Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Diamond Trust of London/archive1

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Addressed comments from Crisco 1492[edit]

  • It was published by indiePub, - before or after the Kickstarter campaign? Unclear from the lead.
    • indiePub is the publisher of the game. Before of after isn't really relevant.
      • From the lead, readers may think that Kickstarter was used to actually get indiePub to publish (which would be incorrect). — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:59, 3 June 2013 (UTC)
  • by Jason Rohrer, with music by Tom Bailey. - Feels like you're missing a word before "by"
    • Will insert "developed".
  • File:Diamond Trust of London.png - where is a statement in which he puts the box art in the public domain? Give a link to his PD release
  • File:Diamond Trust of London - Screenshot 01.png - this too
  • File:Diamond Trust of London - Paper Prototype zoom.jpg - this too
  • File:Diamond Trust of London - Tom Bailey and Jason Rohrer - Crop.png - this too
  • File:Diamond Trust of London - Ready for Shipping.jpg - and this#
    • These images are either hosted on Sourceforge or hosted on Kickstarter (PD release). I will edit the file descriptions of Sourceforge files to point to its licensing declaration too.
      • Yeah, links to both of those in the description pages are necessary to prove the PD status of the images/music/whatever. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:59, 3 June 2013 (UTC)
  • Add citations directly after direct quotes.
  • video games consultancy - or video game consultancy firm?
    • firm.
  • Make sure to link terms on their first use outside the lede
  • and former band-mate, - what band?
    • Name not mentioned.
  • Unfortunately, - POV
  • If this is in British English it should use DD-MM-YYYY format.
    • I prefer the Month-Day-Year format in text. The Times and The Telegraph do too. I also prefer groups to be treated as plural, "Zoo were" instead of "Zoo was". JDC changed this, I don't really mind.
      • Hmm... WP:STRONGNAT points towards using "20 September 2000" rather than "September 20, 2000" in the body of the text for the UK, but I don't mind letting personal preference come on top here.
  • four actual diamonds - What a publicity stunt. Any word on how he was able to afford this when he needed Kickstarter to actually get the games published?
    • You can see the some of the diamonds here, but there's no reliable source as to their quality. I assume it's just bort.
  • Paste praised the support for DS Download Play functionality as generous, and described games of Diamond Trust of London as "fabulous palate cleansers" in between board game sessions. - What makes this review notable?
  • GamesTM too
    • These are reliable sources. I wouldn't say specific reviews are "notable", but I've tried to cover what reliable sources had to say about the game.
      • Not worried about the reliability, but how major the publication is. Perhaps because this game received very few reviews it's not much of a problem, but if the article Final Fantasy XIV omitted some more mainstream publications and used these instead it would likely have trouble at FAC. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:59, 3 June 2013 (UTC)
        • No, I get that. I oppose more video games at FAC than I support, and it's mostly down to the choice of sources. (some examples here), so I'm definitely mindful of it. If the game was covered by more influential publications, I would have used them. - hahnchen 02:18, 3 June 2013 (UTC)
  • Nintendo Gamer felt similarly, - a publication does not feel, a reviewer does
    • Will reword slightly.
  • I've copyedited, be sure to check. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 04:46, 2 June 2013 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review. I'm happy with your copyediting. I've commented above, but I'm about to head out now - so will not be making changes until the evening. - hahnchen 13:43, 2 June 2013 (UTC)
      • Edits made. I didn't insert the word "developed" in the first sentence though - just using the word "by" seems more holistic than specifying "design" or "develop". I've made edits at Commons to clarify the license of the media used. - hahnchen 18:52, 2 June 2013 (UTC)