Wikipedia talk:WikiSpeak

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Would this make more sense in alphabetical order? iridescent 19:15, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

I tried that actually, but some of them play off each other, and only make sense for one to follow the other. Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 19:16, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
Also, I removed the signatures. Or should they all get them? Or none? I prefer none. Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 19:20, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
I prefer none, but thought Dekeppai (or however it's spelt) might object to my removing his. iridescent 19:22, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
Well, we'll just hafta block Dekkapai then, won't we?  :-) Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 19:26, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
Dekkappai laughs nervously but politely as he backs away from two armed Admins... Dekkappai (talk) 18:54, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
For the record, I'm absolutely crying at my desk right now, these are cracking me up in their truthiness...Iridescent, yours particularly rock. Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 19:44, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

alphabetical order?[edit]

Casliber sorted the list, but now there are several unsorted entries, starting at Cool Down Blocks. Not sure if they're intentionally unsorted? dorftrottel (talk) 16:02, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

Not intentional as far as I'm concerned, I'd prefer alphabetical order. --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 17:35, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
Ok, I've sorted it again. I also created a navigation box (instead of the vertical TOC) and level 3 headers for each letter. dorftrottel (talk) 17:54, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
Nice work there. Reading it now. Enigma message 17:39, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
Please feel free to make any additions. --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 17:40, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
I don't understand the punative one. That's obviously not a word. Is that an inside joke? Enigma message 18:41, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
Yes - so many people misspell punitive as punative, and thus... Nousernamesleftcopper, not wood 21:51, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
Heh, I had to look it up to be sure myself...Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 21:57, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Two more comments[edit]

  • bureaucrat/red tape is...interesting.
  • Disruptive editing that Keeper added reminds me of this. Editing an article someone else edited in the past can also be classified as stalking. Enigma message 20:10, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
  • fnord? Enigma message 05:02, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
  • Ha, I guess I sort of understand, after looking at the Wikipedia entry. Unfortunately, it serves to confuse, which of course, was the intent. Enigma message 05:04, 12 June 2008 (UTC)


A place to send an article created by an editor that you don't like.

so so true of late. So sad, but so true. Thanks for the chuckles. TravellingCarithe Busy Bee 20:13, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Brigg railway station[edit]

OK, I've read the Brigg railway station article and seen the rusty iron bridge pic; now I'm so depressed I've lost the desire to live!

It is served by three passenger trains (in each direction) on Saturdays only between Sheffield and Cleethorpes.

Whoopee, three trains in each direction no less, I can hardly contain my excitement! I imagine the "Kid in Africa" would think all his Christmases had come at once if the bridge was given a coat of paint and an extra train was put on every other Sunday. Ah well, off to write my will now, giving Iridescent a special mention. Cheers. --Red Sunset 21:39, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

News bulletin:

Although the National Rail Enquiries' station facilities site states that the station is closed Monday–Sunday (sic. – which means it's permanently closed!), you will all be relieved to know that despite there not being a nearby bus service, taxi rank, car or cycle hire facility, the car park is open 24 hours a day Monday–Friday. Therefore, should you find yourself in the unfortunate position of needing to catch a train on the only day that they pass through Brigg, namely Saturday, you will find the car park closed! You couldn't make this stuff up! --Red Sunset 22:41, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

I know Iridiscent won't mind me saying this (I wouldn't say it otherwise, as he's an armed admin), but he is the uncrowned king of boring articles, of that there can be no doubt. Take a look at what he himself considers to be his crowning achievement, the A215 road. :-) --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 21:59, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
Thanks, I'll certainly do that, but I think I've had as much excitement as I can stand for one day so I'll steel myself for it tomorrow. I have to confess that I actually contributed to Mud and Shed, and very nearly to Skip (Oh the shame of it!) --Red Sunset 22:41, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
Might want to see if you can to a little CE on Wet floor sign while you're at it, RS. Dekkappai (talk) 22:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
You couldn't make it up. :lol: How on earth did you come across that? --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 22:48, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
What day wouldn't be brightened up by a glimpse of the Tottenham Hale Sludge Main?
Through a highly contentious AfD, Malleus... The original article was what I thought a very funny hoax. "It is believed that wet-floor signs were first used (albeit with far less beauty and style) at the dawn of the Floor Age. As soon as floors were introduced in Roman times, it is likely that they began getting wet–whether caused by water, vomit, urine, or any other liquid. It was only a matter of time before it was understood that a sign would prevent a pedestrian from slipping on the wet floor..." "Because the Germanic tribes to the North had not yet developed floors, they had little use for a sign that would declare a floor's wet state..." " has often been argued that the wet-floor sign was introduced to much of the world through the expansion of the British Empire from the 17th to the 20th Centuries. It is assumed that the wet-floor sign first reached the Americas on HMS Horatio Nelson Commodore in 1673." etc., etc., Dekkappai (talk) 23:07, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
Actually, I prefer that version to the current one. --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 23:11, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
That's priceless! I've just got to look at that article too. Thank-you both so much for brightening my day! --Red Sunset 23:18, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

←Malleus, please - A215 road at least has some interesting facts on it. My personal champions at the moment are Pate Hole and The Mall Wood Green (which I very nearly managed to slip through the GA hoop, too). If anyone wants to join Risker and my long-term ambition to get Hypnodog onto the main page, do feel free. iridescent 00:19, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Incidentally, all you people who are deriding Brigg railway station for only having three trains a week need to have a look at Manchester's greatest contributions to the rail network, Reddish South railway station and Denton railway station - served by a mighty one train a week in one direction only, which a week later comes back the other way, and the mighty Watford West railway station ("temporarily closed for repairs" since 1996). iridescent 00:19, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Quick heads up[edit]

Everyone's second-favourite BADSITE now includes a link here; expect some of the more dubious characters from Wikipedia's history to start "improving" this page.

Malleus, just to remind you that, while it can't be done until the page has been subject to "vandalism or disruption", a user page can be indefinitely semi-protected at the request of the page's owner... iridescent 23:07, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Fame – at least of a sort – at last! Obviously I'll be watching the page, it's my baby, but rather than wait for me to request semi-protection let me instead give any administrator the authority to semi-protect the page whenever they feel it necessary to do so. It was, after all, meant to be a bit of fun, not a stick to beat wikipedia with. --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 23:32, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Ha ha, just serious[edit]

Fantastic, Malleus (& other contributors), I've spent half the evening chuckling at these. It's the closest thing to an 'insider's guide' I've seen yet ;) EyeSerenetalk 20:13, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Agreed; this is a wonderful collection of "truthinesses" (if that's the correct word), and it just gets better each time you look at it. I haven't laughed so much in a long time. --Red Sunset 20:46, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
RSunset, I've enjoyed your additions, and agreed, I haven't laughed so much at the good in-jokes, fatalism, pessimism, et al, in ages. I keep coming back because every so often, someone thinks of something genius to add to the intra-wikipedia. Malleus should get barnstars for this. Wait, do we have an entry on barnstars?....Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 20:48, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
All of you have done a great job, and special thanks to MF for hosting this and beginning it. I love this page. The mix of witty, sardonic, elegiac, and utterly savage definitions is a joy to read. I look forward to seeing what new things have appeared when I'm back from wikibreak in a few days. Cheers all, Antandrus (talk) 20:51, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
So can I count on your support at the inevitable MfD? --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 21:04, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
Well, you can certainly count on mine - I bellowed with laughter at the office today. My colleagues were bemused to say the least Fritzpoll (talk) 21:05, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
ILIKEIT EyeSerenetalk 21:31, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

All right then, Keeper...[edit]

Bomba atomica.gif The Destroyer of the Wiki Barnstar
Is hereby granted to Malleus for his sterling efforts. And for his battle against the scourge that is the em-dash. Apparently. iridescent 21:02, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
Why don't we have an entry on em-dashes? Worried about the edit war that would follow are you? Keep in mind, Irid, you are the only one with block buttons...see admininstrator..... Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 21:05, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
Spaced em-dashes are the scourge of wikipedia, and a mortal sin. If my efforts have in any way helped even one editor to avoid eternal damnation then I am satisfied. --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 21:11, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
For anyone wanting an illustration of the respect in which I hold the WP:MOS, I direct you to Talk:Broadwater Farm — about as close as Wikipedia gets to badger-baiting outside of an RFA. (Malleus, I put that em-dash in just for you — and may I remind you that editing another user's talk page comments is a blockable offence?) iridescent 21:47, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
Whoa, backing away slowly from an armed admin. --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 21:53, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

My bad, I thought this was a serious encyclopedia page run by FAC reviewers. Am I going to be sent to ArbCom by administrators now? giggy (:O) 10:27, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

By the way[edit]

Rope bondage-020914-2896-24.jpg

Can anyone think of what whoever uploaded this image was actually trying to illustrate? I can't imagine we ever had an article on How to answer the telephone whilst tied up with a tow-rope and wearing a very unflattering bikini. Huge bonus points, barnstars, whatever you want to anyone who manages to work this image into a genuine article. iridescent 21:54, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Phone bondage, Bondage by phone, Telling mom about how fun it is to be tied up, Ordering pizza under duress....all red links? Damn. Just checking...Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 21:57, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
Hogtie bondage certainly has some of Commons's more – er – "specialised" efforts... iridescent 22:00, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
It's tempting, but... damn my conscience. EyeSerenetalk 22:03, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
Mummy, make it go away!!!!! iridescent 22:12, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
It doesn't work for me. Before the sniggers start, I mean the clip. It just crashed my browser. EyeSerenetalk 22:27, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
Your sanity protection filter is obviously working, then. (That "play" button reminds me of one of those Skinner experiments we used to run back when I was studying game theory, with a "push this button and lose all your winnings" sign – they pushed it almost every time.) iridescent 22:30, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
Yup - to paraphrase someone or other, the last sound we'll hear before the entire universe folds itself up like one of those collapsing tents is "What does this button do?" EyeSerenetalk 22:38, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
I think this thread sums the mentality up better than anything I say ever could. iridescent 22:42, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
...! EyeSerenetalk 09:30, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
It's more tempting... (yes this is a joke) iridescent 22:16, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
Image caption: "Are you sure this is the only way to get a signal?" --Red Sunset 22:57, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
Brilliant! --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 23:32, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Further captions:

  • Angela felt that the instructions she got with her new Nokia could have been clearer!
  • "Hello ... yes, I'd like to complain about your company's double-glazing sales techniques!"
  • It was at this point Angela decided that the aptitude test for the call centre job was a bit extreme!
  • "I'm afraid that'll be extra Mr.Wales!"
--Red Sunset 07:21, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
  • "Sorry, I'll have to call you back. I'm a bit tied up at the moment." (I'll get me coat...) EyeSerenetalk 09:30, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
  • "I never realised you nurses had to carry out such a complicated procedure to take one's temperature with those machines you poke in the ear!"
  • The new procedures brought in by MI6 for people hearing classified information over the phone.
  • "No, she's just stringing me along a bit."
  • "I think the gagging order will be along soon."

 DDStretch  (talk) 14:17, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

  • Now, if with Susan's help she could just get free, Angela could track down the bastard who put superglue on her mobile.
  • Caller: "So, babee... what ya wearin'?"

EyeSerenetalk 16:12, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

  • Angela was less than impressed to discover she was 59th in the escapology helpline queue.
  • Angela told the agency that under no circumstances would she ever mind a bunch of Boy Scouts again! or :–
  • Angela couldn't wait to find out from the agency when she would next be asked to mind a bunch of Boy Scouts.

--Red Sunset 11:49, 8 June 2008 (UTC) Why's everyone picking on Angela all of a sudden. · AndonicO Engage. 15:59, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

  • "So, do you agree yet that footnotes should come after punctuation, even when the article's written in British English?" iridescent 18:16, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
  • "So, do you agree yet that footnotes should come after punctuation, despite the article being written in American English[1]?"--Red Sunset 19:04, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
  • "No, you've got it backwards! It was M&S beachwear that I ordered."
  • It took a lot of persuading to get the girls to model Vivienne Westwood's latest collection.
  • "You can tell the first-year design student responsible for this that I'd rather just wear the rope!"
  • "Same time next week vicar?"

--Red Sunset 18:04, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

  • Susan still hadn't figured out why the boys paid more attention to Angela.
  • It was a bit extreme, but how else was Susan going to save Angela the embarrassment of wearing that dreadful bikini to the beach?
  • Susan was beginning to have doubts about the kind of person her new flatmate would invite to her "welcome" party.
  • Angela had eaten blue Smarties before, but Susan had everything under control this time.
  • Typical, Susan thought; whenever she wanted to make a call, Angela was bound to be stuck to the phone! (swift exit to running car)

--Red Sunset 17:58, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

  • "Hello? ANI? I'd like to report a compulsive captioner." EyeSerenetalk 20:16, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
Excellent EyeSerene, I like that one. --Red Sunset 21:22, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
  • "Can you call me back later? I'm posing for Commons." giggy (:O) 03:03, 15 June 2008 (UTC)


I guess even an old Yank like myself can learn something new every day... Never heard that one. By the way, I abhor the deterioration of perfectly good old U.S. slang words, like geek and twerp, both of which have lost all their bite in recent decades to become synonyms of nerd. We've even got a home-computer-repair company that drives around in vans labeled, "Geek Squad". My 9-year-old asked me what that was for. I told him probably if you had chickens running around your yard, and you needed someone to come and bite their heads off, you called those guys. To his credit-- and to the evidence that his old man is a generation older than the parents of his friends-- he understood the reference... And "twerp"? You don't even want to know what the really meant... Dekkappai (talk) 18:49, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Yes, it's a peculiarly British term, coined originally to describe people with a burning desire to hang around railway stations in arctic conditions at 5:30 in the morning in the hope of glimpsing a rare locomotive, and then meticulously record the serial numbers and activities of all other rail traffic for the next 16 hours so that they can bore the rest of the nation with endless mind-numbing trivia (aka "train-spotters"). These characters invariably wore anoraks; a practical weatherproof outer garment usually equipped with numerous pockets in which they would keep a rail time-table, note-book, two pens and two pencils (just in case), Swiss Army knife, ham sandwiches, a packet of biscuits (cookies), Kendal mint cake, torch, small first-aid kit, disposable camera, digital camera (contaminated with biscuit crumbs), spare batteries for torch and camera, two mobile (cell) phones (different networks, just in case), map of the local area; and then in another pocket ... Get the picture?
"Beauty and the Geek" is a programme currently being broadcast in the UK. --Red Sunset 20:42, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
"Beauty and the Geek"? This a show about a pretty girl with a "thing" for guys who bite the heads off small animals? Dekkappai (talk) 20:49, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
Before the Yanks start feeling superior, you have them too... – iridescent 21:00, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
So it is originally a U.S. show then! --Red Sunset 21:13, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
An exceptional level of detail there, Red Sunset. It's almost as if... nah. EyeSerenetalk 21:14, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
Yank trainspotters... the mind boggles... I thought otaku-- of which I'm a member of the pre-founding-generation-- was about as bad as it gets here. :-) Dekkappai (talk) 21:29, 10 June 2008 (UTC) — Is there a cure? --Red Sunset 22:14, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
A cure? For the Japanese-culture obsession? I thought I had found it by living in Korea and marrying a Korean woman... but now she is hooked on Japanese culture too! Dekkappai (talk) 23:29, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
(chuckle) I've only got one mobile EyeSerene! --Red Sunset 21:39, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
...and you lent it to this woman and her friend, and you haven't seen it since? Strangely enough, I've been trainspotting - I had a really enjoyable afternoon (I was about 12 at the time though). EyeSerenetalk 21:46, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
That's amazing, how did you know? (Lol) Haven't tried trainspotting myself, but in my youth I spent plenty of time at airshows, so I recognise the type. (Well that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!) --Red Sunset 22:02, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

←I always liked planes - I even made a special trip to Heathrow to see the last three Concordes land. Don't write on them though, as there are too many people here who know more than I ever will. One of the more surreal interludes in the whole "Lara is a Nazi" flamewar last month was someone who came to my talkpage to flame me and ended up discussing the aesthetic value of nuclear tests and the Vulcan bomber. – iridescent 22:12, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Don't be put off editing aircraft articles, there are many people who think they know more than anyone else! BTW, a word to the wise: never; and I mean NEVER, use the word "plane" in the presence of a member of wikiproject:aircraft unless you want the heavens to open and experience the wrath of God! Well actually it's not that bad, but there are disagreements flaring up continually over the use of "plane". On the topic of Concorde, if you fancy a laugh take a look here. --Red Sunset 22:47, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
About trainspotters: Various people I worked with were model railway enthusiasts. These people build working models of railway trains (they didn't buy trainsets) from effectively as much raw material as they can (so they don't just buy pre-cut parts that just need fixing together, either) Amongst their number, they told me, were some trainspotters, and some of these were particularly obsessive–so much so that they would criticize a person's model if the wrong number of bolts and rivets were used or shown in construction of the models. Some would spend more than a month trying out various shades of paint to get exactly the right shade to paint the trains, and there was a great concern for accurately depicting and numerals and letters in the correct font and size. I was told of one man who destroyed one model he had spent more than two years in building when it was discovered that he had got the proportion of it out by an almost imperceptable amount, and he withdrew from a club in "shame for getting it so wrong". For these reasons, such people were known as "Rivet Counters", and the term was eventually used to characterize particularly obsessive train spotters in general. Very odd.  DDStretch  (talk) 23:45, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
Well, if you're going to do, best to get it right I suppose. A couple of years ago I went to a summer fair at Alton Towers, and I popped into the model-makers exhibition. One guy there – I think he made model lorries – had a display of the kit that he used in their construction. It was a small log. :-) --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 23:58, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
You know, I went to some do at Trentham Gardens some years ago (probably 2003), and visited a similar exhibition. I seem to recall that there was a very similar display in it to the one you describe, but I don't recall that it was of lorries–it could have been airplanes.  DDStretch  (talk) 00:11, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
Sorry, you're right. It was Trentham Gardens, not Alton Towers. God knows why I always get those two mixed up. And IIRC the guy made model fairgrounds, not lorries. And it was three years ago that I was there, not two. But apart from all of the facts being incorrect, I think my story stacks up pretty well. :lol: --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 00:19, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
Well, it certainly achieves the standard of verification wikipedia practically uses, judging ikt by comparison with some articles I've seen, and we all know that we must pay attention to verification not truth. I suggest we move onto deciding how best to cite you as a reliable source now. 8-)  DDStretch  (talk) 06:31, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Just for the record[edit]

I can't find any appropriate place to insert it (if anyone can, do feel free) but I think the fact that this was a featured article less than four years ago needs to be shared. Depending on your point of view, it either shows how far we've come since then, or how low we slipped.

If anyone gets this back to FA status again, you'll win a special barnstar including this piece of Commons's finest. – iridescent 22:08, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

What is it with you and those pix? Starting to wonder how you're finding them so easily...Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 22:10, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
You're boggling my mind again, Iridescent... and I thought my Simpsons examples were damning... So this is what they have in mind by "Brilliant refreshing prose." No wonder poor Anna May is having such a tough time of it... Oh, and you can keep that "Barnstar." Dekkappai (talk) 22:17, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
The outright pr0n ones are coming (so to speak) straight from MediaWiki:Bad image list; the "Jimmy Wales lookalike dangling a woman in a ballgown with her mouth sealed with duct tape from a rope" is from the "Worst images on Wikipedia" gallery on Facebook; Angela & Susan were on one of Taxwoman's articles, which I keep an eye on on her behalf during her - ahem - absence (you really don't want to get me started on that particular topic). The 18th century propaganda cartoons just seem appropriate, and the "rolling tanks" come from one of Commons's more interesting pages (don't even think of opening it on dialup), Historical film as animated gif. – iridescent 22:22, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
You know, I haven't been an admin long. I really should stop reading Iridescent's posts, or it'll be the shortest sysopping in wiki-history :P EyeSerenetalk 22:34, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
If it weren't for me, you wouldn't yet know why Jesus is like Unix or where the kangaroo came from, though, would you? Call it a specialised coaching program. – iridescent 00:09, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
You two need to stop, it's hurting my ribs...Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 01:09, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
Just in case anyone wants to know why Jesus is like Unix and for some inexplicable reason hasn't read the 84k & rising of flames, trolling & arguments that currently constitutes my talkpage, I highly recommend reading this, along with everything else linked to in this conversation. Neutral777's contributions to the Sum of Human Knowledge deserve a wider audience. – iridescent 01:48, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

As as response to the original post, I think that the fact that this was a featured article is even scarier. Nousernamesleftcopper, not wood 18:55, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Check out who wrote it. I guess even back then there were some people you couldn't disagree with. – iridescent 19:09, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
  • "If you came to this page looking for actual images of nude celebrities, you may already know enough about the topic to add extra information to this entry. Feel free to do so, but remember that we are an encyclopedia trying to describe the topic, not a collection of links to it!" - These days we aren't anywhere near as bothered by nekked pix. giggy (:O) 03:05, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

I got you a barnstar, but a bear ate it[edit]

There was a barnstar for Malleus Fatuarum, but it got eaten by a bear.

I've been waiting for months to pass this along to the right person on the right occasion. Maralia pointed me to this Wicktionary several days ago, and it made me laugh out loud several times, notably the entry for "Userbox". I was reminded of it while visiting your userpage during the recent GA review. I thought it prudent to wait until after the review was completed to prevent any untoward suggestion that we might be in kahootz. The barnstar for GA pass scandal might not be something Wikipedia could recover from. It's such a gentle thing. --Moni3 (talk) 00:46, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the barnstar, but I thought we had a deal? You're not trying to weasel out of it are you?</joke> --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 01:25, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Collaborative article editing at its best[edit]

I appreciate this has nothing whatsoever to do with this page, but I had to share this with someone. It's so refreshing to see that WP addresses the burning issues of the day. – iridescent 19:54, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

File:Joe facepalm.jpg
giggy (:O) 05:53, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Oh god[edit]

[1]The iorny...--KojiDude (C) 03:14, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

That's hilarious. Enigma message 03:18, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
The bots are satirizing themselves now... Dekkappai (talk) 16:28, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
...[2] As are the deletionists :-) (Just kidding, Warren!) Dekkappai (talk) 16:34, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
Ironic perfection :D EyeSerenetalk 10:47, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
Wow, best edit ever? I propose we leave it like that. giggy (:O) 10:54, 20 June 2008 (UTC)


I don't know who wrote the entry on wikimarkup (been too lazy to check), but whoever it was has my deepest respect. (Try to edit it to see what I mean.) --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 19:04, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

It was User:RobertG, here, and holy shit. That's hilariously terrifying (you need to look at it in the edit window to know why...) Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 19:24, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
A bit of help from Cobi; [3]Giggy 08:14, 11 July 2008 (UTC)


I decided to be bold and added an interwiki with an user page using the same humor. Barraki (talk) 17:26, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

... crap.[edit]

I just made the inordinate mistake of following that bondage image to its uploader's gallery... at work. *sigh* Qb | your 2 cents 17:23, 18 July 2008 (UTC)

It's probably wise to be wary of any links in any posts on this page (not thinking of anyone in particular, iridescent). EyeSerenetalk 17:48, 18 July 2008 (UTC)

Best. Page. Ever.[edit]

This is absolutely hilarious. I wish I'd known about it earlier. Truly brilliant. ~Jennavecia (Talk) 04:21, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

Welcome to our world – I'm surprised we haven't seen you here sooner. "If you have enjoyed visiting WP:WIKISPEAK, you may also be interested in The RFA Decoder". – iridescent 14:20, 8 August 2008 (UTC)
Your user talk link brought me here, iridescent. If we ever meet I'll hit you with the fish I carry in my backpack specifically for fish-slapping. --Kizor, 08:41, 10 August 2008 (UTC)
I found it through User:Keeper76/funnies. It is an extremely funny page.
Malleus's page is also quite amusing. Waltham, The Duke of 18:08, 10 August 2008 (UTC)

Move into project space?[edit]

The page is fairly well-fleshed out and refined now, any thoughts of moving it into the project space? –xeno (talk) 19:57, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

I pity the fool that would try to slap an MFD tag on it. Pity I say! Keeper ǀ 76 19:58, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
It would have the benefit that I wouldn't have to carry the can for it ... --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 20:07, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
'Tis your page, go for it =) Unless you'd prefer an admin did it, to abuse power and such. –xeno (talk) 20:07, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
As Scooby-doo so wisely says, Ruh-roo....Keeper ǀ 76 20:15, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
You appear to have moved the wrong page! This is the talk page. Tombomp (talk/contribs) 20:15, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
Ah, fuck me. Of course I would screw that up. Let the flames begin...Keeper ǀ 76 20:17, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
(ec)As usual, Keeper has managed to commit a failure of epic proportions =). ( Fixed) –xeno (talk) 20:18, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
Dammit xeno. I was tryin' to fix it. Couldn't even give me two f'ing seconds...:-) Keeper ǀ 76 20:19, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
Wouldn't be a good cleaner if I let mistakes like that sit around =) –xeno (talk) 20:30, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Hey! Where do I go to complain about abuse of admin power?</joke> --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 20:39, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

WP:AN/Kxeno (talk) 20:41, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
If you would like to see abuse of admin power, feel free to go alter the first or last entry on the page...Keeper ǀ 76 20:42, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
"Backing away slowly from an armed admin". --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 20:48, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
Done. :-P --KojiDude (C) 20:46, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
User talk:Abd seems to be the current place. – iridescent 20:42, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
Life's too short to read through that Iridescent. I think I'll just thank Keeper/Xeno for doing the move, which I would have been reluctant to do. --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 20:45, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
twinkle abuse lol –xeno (talk) 20:48, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Koji just made my funnies page. That's where I sstore diffs of vandals, and other fuckwittery, in order to tank future Requestss. (it may be a redlink, but it's watchlisted now....the cobra waits quietly in the grass....)Keeper ǀ 76 20:52, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Yes check.svg Done RfA thoroughly doomed.--KojiDude (C) 20:55, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
Wow, totally missed this move until I was reviewing my contribution summary and saw ranked #15 on Wikipedia talk was Wikispeak. :o Enigma message 07:53, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
Heh. You just tanked your next RFA too. You and Koji can go sit and a corner and console each other with "good enough, smart enough" talk, passing a blunt betwix the two of you. Keeper ǀ 76 15:47, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
Quit bogarting that joint.--Father Goose (talk) 20:30, 18 August 2008 (UTC)


To the writers before the move. Its a very enjoyable read. Synergy 21:16, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

I'd like to also point out that I've MfD'd WikiSpeak, and any help with testing would be appreciated. Joke !votes are indeed welcome. Synergy 12:59, 13 August 2008 (UTC)


Actually, I think rollback can be added to ones tools on request, without having to be an administrator. It is misleading to indicate that Twinkle is the only way to use rollback without being an administrator. Anyway, as far as I know, Twinkle does not use rollback, but something else that has some rolling back functionality. Snowman (talk) 21:27, 9 September 2008 (UTC)


A recent tweak has resulted in the addition of an entry for the infamous [citation needed] tag. It's fun, but there is also a fun entry under {{fact}}. (I wonder how one could think that with all this stuff here the template would not be covered. :-D) Should I just merge the two entries?

Until someone replies, I'll try to catch up with the Moscow Debates. (sigh) Waltham, The Duke of 22:33, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

You're right, there was some overlap. I think there's value in keeping both entries, so I've done a little bit of work on them. Feel free to make whatever further changes you think are necessary. --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 17:34, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
It looks good now, thanks. You'd only forgotten to remove the entry "cite", which you'd left empty—I've taken care of that (two entries on the subject are enough, I think). Waltham, The Duke of 10:47, 24 September 2008 (UTC)


Some redundancy with Wikipedia:Glossary? --—— Gadget850 (Ed) talk - 16:49, 23 September 2008 (UTC)

Well spotted. I recommend deleting Wikipedia:Glossary and redirecting here. EyeSerenetalk 16:55, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
I was just about to suggest the same thing! :lol: --Malleus Fatuorum (talk) 16:59, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
Heh. That MfD is inching closer and closer... ;) EyeSerenetalk 17:11, 23 September 2008 (UTC)

Wikipedia:Manual of Style (glossaries)[edit]

As this list is a glossary, Wikipedia:Manual of Style (glossaries) would apply. It is still a proposal, but it does have guidelines for list formatting. --—— Gadget850 (Ed) talk - 17:04, 23 September 2008 (UTC)

We'll get right on it. Thanks. Short Brigade Harvester Boris (talk) 17:08, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
Seen and noted. – iridescent 17:14, 23 September 2008 (UTC)

Wikipedia:How to defeat editors you disagree with[edit]

Noticed the MfD. Enigma message 06:26, 3 November 2008 (UTC)

Deletion warning[edit]

This article contains a spaced em dash. It is about to be deleted. Tony (talk) 03:23, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

It contains a forced image width, too. Whatcha gonna do about it? – iridescent 15:42, 20 December 2008 (UTC)


Ever thought about adding an entry about the word Regards...?

Often appears at the end of a veiled threat from an admin, notification you're article is about to be deleted or just when someone's "constructively" calling you a plain fucknut.

On a serious note though, it's quite provocative, thus being the exact opposite of the apparent desired effect, which is often the actual desired effect, regards ;) Ryan4314 (talk) 18:19, 2 January 2009 (UTC)

Quite similar to someone prefacing their statement with, "With all due respect" when they are really just telling you sod off =) –xeno (talk) 18:25, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
Absolutely, perhaps consider a "see with all due respect"? Regards ;) Ryan4314 (talk) 19:49, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
We've already got an entry on respect. --Malleus Fatuorum 20:00, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
With all due respect, I hadn't seen that one ;> –xeno (talk) 20:24, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
With all due respect, I meant have an entry for "regards..." saying "see respect". Although I still think we should have an entry for regards ;) Ryan4314 (talk) 22:02, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
Feel free to write one Ryan. --Malleus Fatuorum 22:37, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
Oh didn't realise anyone could edit this page, well I'm very dull so you guys can tweak it for me, but I'll add it yea. Ryan4314 (talk) 22:57, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
With all due respect, in this respect "regards", when in respect of one whom one respects or disrespects, is regarded retrospectively as respectful or disrespectful respectively. Respectful regards, RobertGtalk 09:49, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

Should have a record of this here[edit]

Has everything you want, including horrible spelling. Enigmamsg 05:33, 27 January 2009 (UTC)

Suggested addition[edit]

The dictionary would be well-served if someone of superior wit and insight to me were to chronicle the (fading?) phenomenon of the guestbook and all it represents.  Skomorokh  06:49, 23 September 2009 (UTC)

I think this page is Malleus's guestbook. – iridescent 18:19, 23 September 2009 (UTC)
Shouldn't we get a barnstar for signing then? EyeSerenetalk 18:31, 23 September 2009 (UTC)
[4] – iridescent 21:09, 23 September 2009 (UTC)
What about secret pages? Are they in the same category? Waltham, The Duke of 21:49, 23 September 2009 (UTC)
I've had a go at an entry - feel free to expand, revert, amend, sign my guestbook etc EyeSerenetalk 09:01, 24 September 2009 (UTC)
There's an interesting link for your signature: revert edit 315875600 Waltham, The Duke of 17:23, 24 September 2009 (UTC)
I agree, obvious vandalism. WP:RBI EyeSerenetalk 08:42, 25 September 2009 (UTC)


I wonder whether there would be any objections to adding an anchor to every entry. I know it would add some clutter to the code (not very good for editing), and that most of them might not be used in the end, but I do not find the current section-links system satisfactory. We might, of course, only add a few anchors to serve the most popular entries, but that would be rather uneven a treatment, and leave us with most of the disadvantages of both situations and few of the benefits of either. Waltham, The Duke of 20:10, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

No comments in three months, so nobody objects, or nobody cares or nobody thinks I actually intended to proceed with this. Well, I did, and have started with the experimental phase of the project.
I have added anchors to two sections. I first started with "J", where I added two anchors for the sole entry, "Jimmy Wales"; the first anchor is "Jimmy", but then I thought more people would link to "Jimbo" so I added that as well. Then I moved to "A" and started work there. I generally use the format established in the Editors' Index and described here, with some adaptations: I use the first six characters of the entry name, unless the last character is a space of hyphen, in which case I omit it. If the result is potentially confusing or not very helpful, I add another two characters, and if I am still not satisfied, I complement it or even replace it with a synonym, not necessarily constrained in number of characters. I use the existing capitalisation conventions.
Although in "J" I put the anchors at the start of the bullet, thinking that it would be better for long entry names, I then realised that the chance of seeing names longer than a line are very slim (irrespective of monitor settings), so put all subsequent anchors at the end of their respective bullets for ease of editing.
I realise all this may sound slightly complex, but one needs a well-defined system in order to consistently apply the feature to such a large page and at the same time try to ensure that no links to anchors will be broken as a result of future developments. In any case, when at a loss, one can easily look at existing links or the target entry's syntax; previewing, of course, has never harmed anyone, either.
Please have a look at the section; comments and suggestions are welcome, and I'll wait for at least a few days before continuing with the other sections. As the system is not fully in place and some details may change, I suggest avoiding linking to the anchors for now. Waltham, The Duke of 02:31, 14 February 2010 (UTC)
For the ignorant (who? me?) could you explain how such links would be used in practice? Short Brigade Harvester Boris (talk) 03:31, 14 February 2010 (UTC)
Instead of linking to the start of the section (using #[section name]), you link to the anchor (using whatever the anchor says). For example, for a person wanting to link to the entry "Administrators' noticeboard for incidents", the only option until now was to link to the section containing it: Wikipedia:WikiSpeak#A. For the smaller sections this may not present problems, but for larger sections there may be a lot of scrolling to do, and indeed, some entries are not even visible from the start of their section. With anchors, one may link directly to Wikipedia:WikiSpeak#ANI. Other examples: #AfD for "AfD", #Americ or #AE for "American English" and #admin co or #coaching for "admin coaching". (I had forgotten to mention that I may add two characters to unhelpful anchors; I have now added it to my post above.)
The anchors may be most useful for inter-linking between entries—and there's a lot of it—but they could prove equally helpful for incoming links from other pages, so long as people understand how they work. Waltham, The Duke of 04:58, 14 February 2010 (UTC)
That's the berries. Short Brigade Harvester Boris (talk) 05:18, 14 February 2010 (UTC)

Last call for input. If there are no objections, I'll finish the job as soon as I have time. Waltham, The Duke of 05:59, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Aye, no objections here. EyeSerenetalk 08:33, 4 March 2010 (UTC)


Very enjoyable. I think a definition for "Dick" would be a good addition. --Dweller (talk) 12:13, 18 November 2011 (UTC)

I'm from Ukraine.I can speak English so-so. I can read better than speak. There are many inaccuracies in the article about Buchach. Your programme cancelled trooth changes. The article about Buchach have a little historical information and some lie. — Preceding unsigned comment added by (talk) 09:36, 28 December 2012 (UTC)

Are you the trooth fairy? Randy from Boise (talk) 11:35, 28 December 2012 (UTC)

I make the effort swing by to read this every now and then. Always enjoyable and grounding. Manning (talk) 06:04, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

some of us can only wish we were Ukrainian. And ran aground some time ago Martinevans123 (talk) 14:08, 7 May 2013 (UTC)
Quite. And we all know why Uhuru left Star Trek, don't we? — Hillbillyholiday talk
how could you stoop solo? fnaar, fnaar.


It took me a while to discover this page, and for your wonderful efforts Malleus, I salute you. I have some further observations for all y'all:

The correct opinion follows..
Gather closer my children and take heed of the timeless wisdom furnished by Wikipedia's very own Socrates..
You are clearly an ignorant fuckwit.
Test. Adhering to official "Vampire Weekend" style guidelines, please insert no more than two commas into the following paragraph:
"By train plane and sedan chair Peter Ustinov retraces a journey made by Mark Twain a century ago. The highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector."The Times
Overuse of commas
See Shatner commas
Fuck off (U.S.)
"Go away, and if I see you in real life, I will physically assault you."
Fuck off (U.K.)
A hearty Lancashire greeting.[5]

Hillbillyholiday talk 13:53, 7 May 2013 (UTC)

Adding all of your suggestions to the page. Double sharp (talk) 04:35, 23 June 2014 (UTC)
Yes check.svg Done (which I also added a definition for). Double sharp (talk) 04:47, 23 June 2014 (UTC)


Sorry, I mean: *applause*. Andy Mabbett (Pigsonthewing); Talk to Andy; Andy's edits 20:01, 7 May 2013 (UTC)

Some possible additions[edit]

  • ban
  • standard offer
  • second chance (these three since we have "block")
  • special characters
  • xkcd
  • template
  • meta-template
  • user page
  • {{Busy}}

Double sharp (talk) 04:55, 23 June 2014 (UTC)

And also:

  • sarcasm
  • Vector
  • Monobook (although this and the above one may be covered by Typography Reform)

Naturally, I have not yet come up with definitions for any of them, and perhaps this sort of action (suggesting improvements that are so non-specific that they are hard to act on) should also receive a definition. (Although, come to think of it, I can't think of a short phrase to describe it at the moment.) Double sharp (talk) 04:58, 23 June 2014 (UTC)

Some more additions[edit]

OK I've done some more. Any suggestions or other comments? If not I guess I'll add them. --Mrjulesd (talk) 14:22, 13 February 2015 (UTC)

Standard offer
We're hoping that in six months time you will have undergone your psychiatric treatment, and/or left junior school.
Wikipedia's version of voodoo magic. Syntax mainly consists of endless curly brackets, with about the friendliness of Brainf**k. Yes {{{t|{{#ifeq:{{{v|}}}|1|{{{1|}}}|{{{2|}}}}} does have meaning, isn't it nice?
User page
The place for editors to boast about achievements, mainly for self-validation purposes. Includes barnstars from editors' sockpuppets, and FA articles editors made single edits to. Can also function to annoy visitors through the extreme use of userboxes. Some need to be seen to be believed, being really odd, and/or as long as War and Peace.
User talk page
Where the bulk of time-wasting takes place. Either for networking with editors you're trying to win over, or else for aggressive rebuttals, or just for idle gossip. Stalking user talk pages is a fine art of general nosiness and intrigue, and is usually more fun than contributing.
Jimbo Wales's User Page
You can edit this page! And we can indefblock you! Enjoy your one minute before the revert, and bye.
Jimbo Wales's Talk Page
Usually consists of walls of text from self-centered windbags on uninteresting topics, interspersed with Jimbo's barnstars for being a demigod. Reading all 180 archives must be like a trip to Hades. Jimbo wisely stays out of most of it, possibly from being on TV too much, or jetsetting to exotic locales; but he corrects the occasional egregious mistake, or comments when an interesting issue actually arises.
Who knew that an ant could cause so much controversy on Wikipedia and elsewhere?

--Mrjulesd (talk) 14:22, 13 February 2015 (UTC)

Added (although I couldn't resist making a short addition to "standard offer"). Double sharp (talk) 14:27, 25 February 2015 (UTC)

There Is No Cabal[edit]

Re: Wikipedia:WikiSpeak#Cabal,

There Is No Cabal (TINC). We discussed this at the last cabal meeting, and everyone agreed that there is no cabal. An announcement was made in Cabalist: The Official Newsletter of The Cabal making it clear that there is no cabal. The words "There Is No Cabal" are in ten-foot letters on the side of the international cabal headquarters, and we the announcement that there is no cabal is shown at the start of every program on the Cabal Network. If that's doesn't convince people that there is no cabal, I don't know what will. --Guy Macon (talk) 23:05, 26 March 2016 (UTC)

  1. ^ Insert footnote text here