Talk:Guren no Yumiya/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: WanderingMorpheme (talk · contribs) 18:29, 8 November 2023 (UTC)

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I guess I could also do this one. This one probably won't be as quick as the other Linked Horizon one but I'll try to not be slow about it. WanderingMorpheme 18:29, 8 November 2023 (UTC)

@WanderingMorpheme: Thank you so much! This is definitely a denser article compared to the last one, so I especially appreciate your review of it. Cheers! Johnson524 16:12, 9 November 2023 (UTC)

Thanks for the reply! I've gone through most of the easy stuff for now and added my comments on it. I've added ticks to most everything, all I have left is a more thorough sourcing review. Most of my comments are very minor but I think the contents section could use a little expansion. I myself don't know how you would go by expanding it so don't feel pressed to expand it. WanderingMorpheme 01:09, 10 November 2023 (UTC)

@WanderingMorpheme: Ok first round of fixes are done, sorry for the wait! Johnson524 19:37, 11 November 2023 (UTC)

@Johnson524: Wonderful! the article is already way better after this I feel like. I only have a little bit of reviewing to do before closing so there shouldn't be much left to do. WanderingMorpheme 20:11, 11 November 2023 (UTC)

@Johnson524: I posted my final comment before closing, thank you for the cooperation! P.S I took the liberty of fixing the linking in the infobox since it was incredibly minor and shouldn't interfere with the GA review. WanderingMorpheme 23:20, 11 November 2023 (UTC)

@WanderingMorpheme: You've been awesome. Thank you for reviewing another, much longer, Linked Horizon song. If you have anymore comments or concerns, please tell me, and I'd be happy to fix them. Cheers! Johnson524 00:23, 12 November 2023 (UTC)

@Johnson524: I think the article has been raised to the standard so I'll be passing it now, good job! I changed the word "retweeted" to "tweeted", I don't know much about twitter so if that's wrong feel free to revert that, otherwise the article is good to go! WanderingMorpheme 00:32, 12 November 2023 (UTC)

Comments

Image review

Images look good and with proper licensing or rationale, only 2 small comments:

• The caption: Cover for single Jiyū e no Shingeki -> Cover for the single Jiyū e no Shingeki.

 Done

• File:Attack on Titan OP LTD.jpg has duplicate rationales, consider removing one of them.

 Question: The two parameters are for its use in two different articles as a non-free image. My (very vague, quite possibly incorrect) understanding of this is that a different rationale for using has to be created for each use of the non-free image in another article. If this is incorrect I am more than happy to fix it. Johnson524 19:27, 11 November 2023 (UTC)

Oh right I didn't read the rationales well enough, yeah let's keep them as is. WanderingMorpheme 20:11, 11 November 2023 (UTC)

Citation review

• title=[untitled] -> title=第36回アニメＧＰ with the translated title 36th Anime Grand Prix (or something along those lines, this is the title of the website in the website's window bar)

 Done

• Consider removing the MusicBrainz citation and the text with it as the source can be edited by anyone (WP:RS)

 Done

• Additional comment: After removing the MusicBrainz text and source I feel like the Contents section is rather small, I think expanding it a little would go a long way, not a priority though.

 Not done I tried to expand this section more as well, but as far as citations go, I got to the tenth page of Japanese-language Google before stopping, as results were starting to get pretty unrelated. I can try to do one last check for something to add within the citations already on the page, but in terms of finding new ones, I would say it's unlikely but not out of the question. I'll see what I can do. Johnson524 19:27, 11 November 2023 (UTC)

That's okay the section looks good as is. WanderingMorpheme 20:11, 11 November 2023 (UTC)

• trans-title=Digital chart sweeping animation "Attack on Titan" OP theme CD decided: decided -> confirmed (maybe? decided is probably the more literal translation but I think English prefers something like confirmed, sorry for this extreme nitpick lmao)

 Done - I LOVE nitpicky lol

• trans-title="Attack on Titan" gets gold! Karaoke ranking first appearance decapitation: decapitation -> steals first place (奪首 is apparently a word used in sports, but hasn't been incorporated into some dictionaries)

 Done

• In Background and release: According to band's head musician Revo, he became inspired to write the single for the anime after reading the first issue of Attack on Titan's manga. The source just says he became a fan right after the first publication, I can't see anything indicating he started writing the song right after the first issue, or had any inspiration. (not that I didn't think he didn't, but it comes off a bit WP:OR)

 Done

• In Background and release: Revo would meet multiple times with the original manga author Hajime Isayama and director of the anime Tetsurō Araki to ensure the songs used would accurately convey "the feelings of the characters through poetry and music". Bolded is WP:SYNTH, it's not that it's wrong but it does not relate to the text earlier in the sentence. The easiest way to fix this that I can come up with is to simply split them and just state them as two separate facts, that is He would meet with Isayama and Araki mulitple times. and "Guren no Yumiya", and the 2 other recorded songs express the story depicted in the work and the feelings of the characters through poetry and music. mention that the 2 other songs are Jiyū no Tsubasa and Moshi Kono Kabe no Naka ga Ikken no Ie da to Shitara

 Done - but not the last part, as I think mentioning the single instead covers this. I'm fine with adding them if you disagree though. Johnson524 19:27, 11 November 2023 (UTC)

It's okay, what you did is way more intuitive than what I had in mind. WanderingMorpheme 20:11, 11 November 2023 (UTC)

• A tweet related to Linked Horizon's performance at the event also became the number one tweet on New Year's Eve of 2013. The source says that the word "Jaeger" (japanese: イェーガー) was the most tweeted word at that time (with 170,000 tweets), not that there was any specific tweet that was the number one.

 Done

Layout

• I'm going to suggest the same thing I did with the Shinzō wo Sasageyo! GAR and suggest wrapping the three sections Chart performance, Certifications and Awards into a level 2 section called Reception, and the wrapped sections becoming level 3.

 Done

• Consider moving the 2017 Chart table in with the 2014 chart above it as there is a lot of white space between and having them both in the same column would help with that. I think this goes outside the scope of GA so don't feel stressed about this, but I thought I'd mention it.

 Done

Prose

The quality of the prose is good but I have small comments:

• in Live performances and other usage: first use in the anime Attack on Titan -> first use in the Attack on Titan anime sounds better to me, feel free to comment your thoughts on this proposed change.

 Done

• The second paragraph in Live performances and other usage feels very cluttered when reading through it. It's a very long sentence and it can be hard trying to keep track of all the things happening in it. Consider perhaps splitting it up into more manageable sentences.

 Done

• In Background and release: The songs "Guren no Yumiya" and "Jiyū no Tsubasa" would also be the first anime theme songs the band would create., explain what "Jiyū no Tsubasa" is for uninformed readers.

 Done

Misc

• Infobox: Only link the first instance of Revo.

 Done

Review

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it well written?

   A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

   Well written.

   B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:

   Prose has a good layout and keeps words neutral.

2. Is it verifiable with no original research?

   A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

   References look good

   B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):

   Unreliable sources have been removed in review

   C. It contains no original research:

   Problems brought up in review have been addressed.

   D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:

   WP:EARWIG shows no violation, but will do a more thorough review myself as most sources are in Japanese.

   No violations found.

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

   B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):

   Pass

4. Is it neutral?

   It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:

   No problems here

5. Is it stable?

   It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:

   Very stable, there was one vandal but it was a one time thing.

6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

   Both images are relevant.

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

   Article has been raised to the GA standard and so passes the review, good job!

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.