Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Susanna Hoffs/archive1
Susanna Hoffs[edit]
Susanna Hoffs (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)
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- Nominator(s): BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:13, 7 May 2024 (UTC)
Susannah Hoffs is probably best known as a member of popular music group the Bangles; she co-wrote their hit "Eternal Flame". Her cinematic career has been less successful than her musical endeavours, which have included several solo albums and collaborations. In 2023 her novel This Bird Has Flown was well-received by critics. All suggestions for improvements to the article are appreciated. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:13, 7 May 2024 (UTC)
750h[edit]
- lead
- Considering, as per the "Early life" section, her middle name is "Lee", why isn't this mentioned in the lead ("Susanna Hoffs (born January 17, 1959) is an American singer, guitarist," ==> "Susanna Lee Hoffs (born January 17, 1959) is an American singer, guitarist,")
Following tensions and resentment of Hoffs's perceived leadership, the band split in 1989, reformed in 1999 and released albums in 2003 and 2011.
add a comma after "1999".and formed the faux British 1960s band Ming Tea, with Mike Myers and Matthew Sweet
comma unneeded
- Added "Lee" and made the comma changes. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:39, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
- early career
with sisters Vicki and Debbi Peterson, and shared a house
should there be a comma?
- Removed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:39, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
- the bangles
recounted that she had been looking at selected members of the crowd, to counter
is the a comma needed?He attended some of the group's concerts, and occasionally
comma needed?
- Both removed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:39, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
- solo career
Prior to leaving Columbia Records, Hoffs
Change "prior to" to "before" for concisenessHoffs's fourth studio album, was release on Baroque Folk Records in 2021.
change "release" to "released".The album includes interpretations of the Rolling Stones, Squeeze, Lesley Gore and received
should have an "and" before Lesley Gore.
- Made these changes. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:39, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
- other collaborations
The trio made a number of club and TV...
change "a number of" to something like numerous/several/many
- I've changed this to "The trio played live at nightclubs in Los Angeles."; sources focus on club rather than TV appearances, but none that I've seen quantify it. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:39, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
that's all from me. solid work. 750h+ 10:12, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
- Much appreciated, 750h+. Let me know if anything else is required. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:39, 17 May 2024 (UTC)