Northwest Guilford High School: Difference between revisions
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{{Infobox school |
{{Infobox school |
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| name = Northwest Guilford High School| |
| name = Northwest Guilford High School| |
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| motto = "Where the |
| motto = "Where the roofs leak consistently." |
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| type = Public| |
| type = Public| |
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| principal = Ralph Kitley| |
| principal = Ralph Kitley| |
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| asst principal = Curtis Adair, Joseph Caraher, Hannah Cobb, Terri Collins |
| asst principal = Curtis Adair, Joseph Caraher, Hannah Cobb, Terri Collins, Julia Skaggs, Don Ciaravino |
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| teaching_staff = 120<ref>[http://www.ncreportcard.org/src/schDetails.jsp?Page=4&pSchCode=490&pLEACode=410&pYear=2007-2008]</ref>| |
| teaching_staff = 120<ref>[http://www.ncreportcard.org/src/schDetails.jsp?Page=4&pSchCode=490&pLEACode=410&pYear=2007-2008]</ref>| |
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| enrollment = |
| enrollment = OVER 9000| |
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| grades = 9-12| |
| grades = 9-12| |
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| address = 5240 Northwest School Road| |
| address = 5240 Northwest School Road| |
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| country = [[United States]] |
| country = [[United States]] |
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| district = [[Guilford County Schools]] |
| district = [[Guilford County Schools]] |
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| colors = Red, Black, and White| |
| colors = Red, Black, and White (Racism is still alive at this school, sadly)| |
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| mascot = Vikings |
| mascot = Vikings |
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| National_ranking = 261st |
| National_ranking = 261st |
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}} |
}} |
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{{Refimprove|date=March |
{{Refimprove|date=March 1857}} |
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'''Northwest Guilford High School''' is a public high school in [[Guilford County, North Carolina]]. The school has an enrollment of 2,105 students<ref>[http://www.gcsnc.com/schools/high/northwesthigh/index.html]</ref> in grades 9 through 12 |
'''Northwest Guilford High School''' is a public high school in [[Guilford County, North Carolina]]. The school has an enrollment of 2,105 students<ref>[http://www.gcsnc.com/schools/high/northwesthigh/index.html]</ref> in grades 9 through 12--with grade 11 being the cut-off point at which most teachers stop trying--making it the public school with the largest enrollment in Guilford County, and perhaps the world itself. |
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The school was ranked by [[Newsweek]]'s [[Newsweek#Best_High_Schools_in_America|Best High Schools in America]] as 261st among American high schools <ref>[http://www.newsweek.com/id/39380/?q=2008/rank/201/]</ref>. The school has also received an award from Siemens for its strength in science and math AP education<ref>[http://schoolcenter.gcsnc.com/education/components/docmgr/default.php?sectiondetailid=191048]</ref>, and was listed by High Schools That Work<ref>[http://www.dpi.state.nc.us/insnoteworthy/HSThatWorkInvolvedSchls.html]</ref> as one of the top 36 high schools in the [[United States]], the only high school in North Carolina to receive |
The school was ranked by [[Newsweek]]'s [[Newsweek#Best_High_Schools_in_America|Best High Schools in America]] as 261st among American high schools <ref>[http://www.newsweek.com/id/39380/?q=2008/rank/201/]</ref>. The school has also received an award from Siemens for its strength in science and math AP education<ref>[http://schoolcenter.gcsnc.com/education/components/docmgr/default.php?sectiondetailid=191048]</ref>, and was listed by High Schools That Work<ref>[http://www.dpi.state.nc.us/insnoteworthy/HSThatWorkInvolvedSchls.html]</ref> as one of the top 36 high schools in the [[United States]], the only high school in North Carolina to receive a mention{{Citation needed|date=March 2009}} (How sad). |
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The current principal is Mr. Ralph Kitley. |
The current principal is the tallest man on God's Green Earth, Mr. Ralph Kitley. |
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== Rivalries and traditions == |
== Rivalries and traditions == |
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| ⚫ | |||
| ⚫ | |||
| ⚫ | Northwest has |
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| ⚫ | Northwest has two dances throughout the year including the Homecoming dance following the Homecoming Football Game, the Twirp, an acronym for "The Woman Is Required to Pay," dance (based on the [[Sadie Hawkins]] tradition), and the Junior and Senior Prom. In 2010 Twirp was replaced with the Majestic Ball Fail Dance (MBFD) for absolutely no reason{{citation needed}}. |
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Another tradition is for one group of students to set off a [[stink bomb]] in the hallways during lunch at the beginning of the school year. This tradition would usually end with the administration feeling retarded for letting it happen once again, and then an offering of a $50 gift card to a random place for any information, true or false. However at the start of the 2009-2010 school year, the gift card value was lowered to $25, which led to the continuity of this particular tradition to be jeopardized. |
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== Facilities == |
== Facilities == |
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<s>Northwest doesn't have any facilities</s> The facilities at Northwest are in pristine condition, meaning that they might be pure but they are ancient. It appears that no construction has taken place at the campus since the 2002 addition of the "New Building," and before that the last technological improvement was undergone in 1945 with the addition of [[Mustard Gas]] dispensers, after the end of [[World War II]]. The second most-recent structural improvement was a direct result of WWII: the bomb shelters, which can be found near the Senior Parking Lot. Because of the obvious lack of use, the bomb shelters were transformed into the traditional classroom trailers. However, a crystal meth laboratory may be found under the trailer of previous-history teacher Donald Ciaravino, who continually referenced it in his many lectures to the students about why history is unimportant. Also, Ciaravino kept a knife in his desk, perhaps because of the history of war and Northwest, or perhaps it was a simple ruse to intimidate his students. Ciaravino is now in prison for his numerous crimes against nature. |
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Because of the recent increase in population in the area, several additions, including a two-story educational building completed in 2002, gym completed in 2003, and cultural arts wing at the school, have been constructed. Northwest now has two gyms: the "Old Gym" and the "New Gym". |
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The original main building at the school, the "Old Building," serves as the |
The original main building at the school, the "Old Building," serves as the primary torture chamber, and the Educational Building, or "New Building," serves primarily as the 'new and reequipped homicide facility,' which, when properly activated, can euthanize the minds of 200 students at a time, cutting budget costs and saving time for teachers and now-brain-dead students everywhere. The Vocal Building is used solely for the class Recovery 101, where the students are forced to forget their torturing at the end of the day so that parents and authorities are not contacted about the abuse of children. After serving his term in prison for child molestation, Ciaravino relocated to the "New Building" to resume his beloved practice of [[Torturing everyone in sight]]. The original [[bomb shelters]] now serve as [[Portable_classroom|trailers]], where the students partake in learning the history of Northwest at the end of the busy day. |
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Northwest used to be home to a marveled [[Greenhouse]], but due to lack of interest it was burned to the ground many years ago, and in its place the APUSH trailer for Julia Skaggs was erected. Because of the flame-scarred scenery, this trailer in particular is now known as the gateway to Hell. |
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== Academics == |
== Academics == |
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| ⚫ | Northwest has the |
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| ⚫ | Northwest has the most mediocre selection of [[Advanced Placement]] courses in Guilford County {{Citation needed|date=March 2009}}, and has the most amazingly depressing success rate with the students that take the courses {{Citation needed|date=March 2009}}. More AP credits have been awarded to any other school in the recent years {{Citation needed|date=March 2009}}. The school also has Honors and College Prep courses. Due to apathy in regards to the state of the country, it no longer has an [[ROTC]] program. |
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| ⚫ | The school is also actively involved and successful in competitions such as [[We the People: The Citizen and the Constitution|We the People]] in which the team has held the state title and participated in national competition for the past 13 years, placing in the Top Ten at nationals in the spring of 2007. Northwest also participates in [[Mock trial|Mock Trial]], the [[National Forensic League]], |
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| ⚫ | The school is also actively involved and successful in competitions such as [[We the People: The Citizen and the Constitution|We the People]] in which the team has held the state title and participated in national competition for the past 13 years, placing in the Top Ten at nationals in the spring of 2007. Northwest also participates in slavery. Oh and [[Mock trial|Mock Trial]], the [[National Forensic League]], [[Science Olympiad]], has sent numerous students across the world to share the experiences of a public high school with those "less fortunate than [they are]". The Speech and Debate Club currently participates in the National Forensic League (wait, what?). |
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| ⚫ | Northwest's school newspaper switched from "The Northwest Express" to "Northwest Horizons" in 2007<ref>www.englishisamazing.com/Newspaper/styleguide%2009-10.doc</ref>. "Northwest Horizons" has received numerous awards<ref>www.northwesthorizons.com</ref>. In 2008, it won First Place Features and Second Place Graphics from the North Carolina Press Association (NCSPA). In 2009, it was named "All-North Carolina" by the NCSPA and won the Southern Interscholastic Press Association's " |
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| ⚫ | Northwest's school newspaper switched from "The Northwest Express" to "Northwest Horizons" in 2007<ref>www.englishisamazing.com/Newspaper/styleguide%2009-10.doc</ref> because of the obvious reference to. "Northwest Horizons," despite its extreme bias and its massive grammatical errors which appear in every single issue, has received numerous awards<ref>www.northwesthorizons.com</ref>, likely because the newspaper was pitied. In 2008, it won First Place Features and Second Place Graphics from the North Carolina Press Association (NCSPA). In 2009, it was named "All-North Carolina" by the NCSPA and won the Southern Interscholastic Press Association's "False-Freedom of the Press" Award <ref>http://www.northwesthorizons.com/</ref>, meaning that there is literally no freedom of speech at Northwest. |
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The most talented class at Northwest is indubitably that of AP English with Mrs. Little, who is the best teacher any school can ever offer. Second period AP English of 2009-2010 is also clearly the elite of this group. |
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== Athletics == |
== Athletics == |
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Northwest is a 4A school with a large athletic program, with sports programs in [[soccer]], [[basketball]], [[American football|football]], [[tennis]], [[swimming (sport)|swimming]], [[lacrosse]], [[baseball]], [[scholastic wrestling|wrestling]], [[Athletics (track and field)|track]], [[Cross country running|cross country]], [[field hockey]], and [[volleyball]], among others. |
Northwest is a 4A school with a large athletic program, with sports programs in belly dancing [[soccer]], [[basketball]], [[American football|football]], [[tennis]], [[swimming (sport)|swimming]], [[lacrosse]], [[baseball]], [[scholastic wrestling|wrestling]], [[Athletics (track and field)|track]], [[Cross country running|cross country]], [[field hockey]], and [[volleyball]], among others. Hunting is usually popular every winter, when it becomes legal to hunt AP World History textbooks; which, while extremely dry and probably the most boring thing you could ever read, actually make good fires in those long, cold months. Trust me. |
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== Arts == |
== Arts == |
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Northwest has a strong fine arts program, including award winning concert and marching bands <ref>[http://www.nwvikingband.org]</ref>, orchestral ensembles, arts classes, drama department, and |
Northwest has a strong fine arts program, including award winning concert and marching bands <ref>[http://www.nwvikingband.org]</ref>, orchestral ensembles, arts classes, drama department, and that's pretty much it. We used to have a painting department, but like the greenhouse, it was burned to the ground during national "Pants on the Ground" day. |
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==Clubs== |
==Clubs== |
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==Notable alumni== |
==Notable alumni== |
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*[[Rusty LaRue]] '91, NBA Player |
*[[Rusty LaRue]] '91, NBA Player. |
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==Notable criminals== |
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* Donald Ciaravino, '09 and '10, professional serial killer and rapist. Also known to have molested and physically abused students and other coworkers from time to time. |
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* Pedophile Lady, an unnamed member of the staff who forced a group of students to leave their beloved bench where they socialized in the morning before school because of a potential fire hazard. |
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== References == |
== References == |
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Revision as of 21:15, 14 February 2010
| Northwest Guilford High School | |
|---|---|
| Address | |
 | |
5240 Northwest School Road , | |
| Information | |
| Type | Public |
| Motto | "Where the roofs leak consistently." |
| School district | Guilford County Schools |
| Principal | Ralph Kitley |
| Teaching staff | 120[1] |
| Grades | 9-12 |
| Enrollment | OVER 9000 |
| Color(s) | Red, Black, and White (Racism is still alive at this school, sadly) |
| Mascot | Vikings |
| Website | Northwest Guilford High School |
 | This article needs additional citations for verification. (March 1857) |
Northwest Guilford High School is a public high school in Guilford County, North Carolina. The school has an enrollment of 2,105 students[2] in grades 9 through 12--with grade 11 being the cut-off point at which most teachers stop trying--making it the public school with the largest enrollment in Guilford County, and perhaps the world itself.
The school was ranked by Newsweek's Best High Schools in America as 261st among American high schools [3]. The school has also received an award from Siemens for its strength in science and math AP education[4], and was listed by High Schools That Work[5] as one of the top 36 high schools in the United States, the only high school in North Carolina to receive a mention[citation needed] (How sad). The current principal is the tallest man on God's Green Earth, Mr. Ralph Kitley.
Rivalries and traditions
The school has long a sports-based rivalry with the Western Guilford High School, which has allegedly led to several cases of facility detonations and assaults between the schools.
Northwest has two dances throughout the year including the Homecoming dance following the Homecoming Football Game, the Twirp, an acronym for "The Woman Is Required to Pay," dance (based on the Sadie Hawkins tradition), and the Junior and Senior Prom. In 2010 Twirp was replaced with the Majestic Ball Fail Dance (MBFD) for absolutely no reason[citation needed].
Another tradition is for one group of students to set off a stink bomb in the hallways during lunch at the beginning of the school year. This tradition would usually end with the administration feeling retarded for letting it happen once again, and then an offering of a $50 gift card to a random place for any information, true or false. However at the start of the 2009-2010 school year, the gift card value was lowered to $25, which led to the continuity of this particular tradition to be jeopardized.
Facilities
Northwest doesn't have any facilities The facilities at Northwest are in pristine condition, meaning that they might be pure but they are ancient. It appears that no construction has taken place at the campus since the 2002 addition of the "New Building," and before that the last technological improvement was undergone in 1945 with the addition of Mustard Gas dispensers, after the end of World War II. The second most-recent structural improvement was a direct result of WWII: the bomb shelters, which can be found near the Senior Parking Lot. Because of the obvious lack of use, the bomb shelters were transformed into the traditional classroom trailers. However, a crystal meth laboratory may be found under the trailer of previous-history teacher Donald Ciaravino, who continually referenced it in his many lectures to the students about why history is unimportant. Also, Ciaravino kept a knife in his desk, perhaps because of the history of war and Northwest, or perhaps it was a simple ruse to intimidate his students. Ciaravino is now in prison for his numerous crimes against nature.
The original main building at the school, the "Old Building," serves as the primary torture chamber, and the Educational Building, or "New Building," serves primarily as the 'new and reequipped homicide facility,' which, when properly activated, can euthanize the minds of 200 students at a time, cutting budget costs and saving time for teachers and now-brain-dead students everywhere. The Vocal Building is used solely for the class Recovery 101, where the students are forced to forget their torturing at the end of the day so that parents and authorities are not contacted about the abuse of children. After serving his term in prison for child molestation, Ciaravino relocated to the "New Building" to resume his beloved practice of Torturing everyone in sight. The original bomb shelters now serve as trailers, where the students partake in learning the history of Northwest at the end of the busy day.
Northwest used to be home to a marveled Greenhouse, but due to lack of interest it was burned to the ground many years ago, and in its place the APUSH trailer for Julia Skaggs was erected. Because of the flame-scarred scenery, this trailer in particular is now known as the gateway to Hell.
Academics
Northwest has the most mediocre selection of Advanced Placement courses in Guilford County [citation needed], and has the most amazingly depressing success rate with the students that take the courses [citation needed]. More AP credits have been awarded to any other school in the recent years [citation needed]. The school also has Honors and College Prep courses. Due to apathy in regards to the state of the country, it no longer has an ROTC program.
The school is also actively involved and successful in competitions such as We the People in which the team has held the state title and participated in national competition for the past 13 years, placing in the Top Ten at nationals in the spring of 2007. Northwest also participates in slavery. Oh and Mock Trial, the National Forensic League, Science Olympiad, has sent numerous students across the world to share the experiences of a public high school with those "less fortunate than [they are]". The Speech and Debate Club currently participates in the National Forensic League (wait, what?).
Northwest's school newspaper switched from "The Northwest Express" to "Northwest Horizons" in 2007[6] because of the obvious reference to. "Northwest Horizons," despite its extreme bias and its massive grammatical errors which appear in every single issue, has received numerous awards[7], likely because the newspaper was pitied. In 2008, it won First Place Features and Second Place Graphics from the North Carolina Press Association (NCSPA). In 2009, it was named "All-North Carolina" by the NCSPA and won the Southern Interscholastic Press Association's "False-Freedom of the Press" Award [8], meaning that there is literally no freedom of speech at Northwest.
The most talented class at Northwest is indubitably that of AP English with Mrs. Little, who is the best teacher any school can ever offer. Second period AP English of 2009-2010 is also clearly the elite of this group.
Athletics
Northwest is a 4A school with a large athletic program, with sports programs in belly dancing soccer, basketball, football, tennis, swimming, lacrosse, baseball, wrestling, track, cross country, field hockey, and volleyball, among others. Hunting is usually popular every winter, when it becomes legal to hunt AP World History textbooks; which, while extremely dry and probably the most boring thing you could ever read, actually make good fires in those long, cold months. Trust me.
Arts
Northwest has a strong fine arts program, including award winning concert and marching bands [9], orchestral ensembles, arts classes, drama department, and that's pretty much it. We used to have a painting department, but like the greenhouse, it was burned to the ground during national "Pants on the Ground" day.
Clubs
Northwest High School offers many extra-curricular clubs and teams including, The Parkour Club, The Popcorn Club[10] FBLA, Science Olympiad, DECA, Gay-Straight Alliance, Gamer Anime Club (GAC), Math club, Spanish Club, Drama Club, Book Club, FCA, Horsepower, Red Cross Club, SAVE/SADD, Speech and Debate, Breakfast Club, Junior Classical League (JCL), Call of Duty (COD), Anti-Ciaravino Alliance (ACA), and anything and everything else. A Rubik's Cube club has been highly debated, and is a hot topic to discuss, but may come in the near future.
Notable alumni
- Rusty LaRue '91, NBA Player.
Notable criminals
- Donald Ciaravino, '09 and '10, professional serial killer and rapist. Also known to have molested and physically abused students and other coworkers from time to time.
- Pedophile Lady, an unnamed member of the staff who forced a group of students to leave their beloved bench where they socialized in the morning before school because of a potential fire hazard.