Talk:A Vision of the Last Judgement/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: NW (Talk) 16:14, 25 October 2009 (UTC)

Well written

Lead

• "A Vision of the Last Judgment is a painting by William Blake that was designed in 1808 before becoming a lost artwork."
  • I'm a little confused here. Was the painting ever actually painted, or was a plan etched out? If the latter, why is it considered a lost artwork?

• "Earlier designs for the painting that depicted the Last Judgment survived."
  • Would "have survived" be better? In addition, this sentence is a bit repetitive with the second sentence of the second paragraph of the lead.

• "Like Blake's notes on the painting, a letter written to Ozias Humphry provides..."
  • →"In addition to Blake's notes on the painting, [a/his] letter written to Ozias Humphry provides". Would that be better?

• I feel that the lead might be able to be expanded a bit. The sections titled "Painting" and "Themes" have very little representation in the lead. NW (Talk) 17:39, 25 October 2009 (UTC)

Origins

• "Blake claimed to see visions and said he believed they were a common aspect of life and compared them to what biblical prophets experienced."
  • That's a run-on sentence.

• "In the commentary to A Vision of the Last Judgment, Blake said he was able to see the host of Heaven praising God. The design was created in 1808 as an expansion of his 1805 work The Day of Judgment."
  • It might just be me, but I feel these two sentences don't flow together very well. Perhaps you could split the paragraphs, and then add a sentence to each?

• "These include an 1808 watercolour version made for Elizabeth Ilive, wife of George Wyndham, 3rd Earl of Egremont, that was displayed at their home Petworth House"
  • "These include an 1808 watercolour version made for Elizabeth Ilive, wife of George Wyndham, 3rd Earl of Egremont, that was displayed at their home Petworth House

• Other editions included watercolours made for Thomas Butts in 1806, 1807, and 1809; one for John Flaxman in 1806 (lost), and an 1809 unsold version in tempera.
  • Appropriate use of the semicolon? I admit to not knowing fully, so I shall defer to your judgment.

• General comment: Does The Grave have an article?

• "The painting was to be discussed in Blake's Descriptive Catalogue, a work that, in 1809, described Blake's feelings about various painters and poets along with descriptions of his own works and their various meanings."
  • "The painting was to be discussed in Blake's Descriptive Catalogue, a 1809 work that described Blake's feelings about various painters and poets and also provided descriptions of his own works and their various meanings."?

• "Notes for what Blake planned to write for the works A Vision of the Last Judgment and Public Address survived. The notes were discovered by William Michael Rossetti and first mentioned in a letter to Horace Scudder on 27 November 1864."
  • →"Notes for what Blake planned to write for the works A Vision of the Last Judgment and Public Address survived and were discovered by William Michael Rossetti, who first mentioned in a letter to Horace Scudder on 27 November 1864."?

• "One piece of the work was missing: part of page 71 was sent by Rossetti to Scudder"
  • →"One piece of the work was missing: part of page 71, which was sent by Rossetti to Scudder"?

Painting

• "The description provided by Blake to Humphrey, explains that the work depicts the resurrection."
  • Unneeded comma?

• "...and in the centre is the book of death"
  • Should book of death be capitalized? Also, can it be linked if possible?

• "To Blake, he must create an image of the Last Judgment, then represent the image, and then described with a written gloss of the work. This creates a layer of representation that separates the audience from the apocalyptic experience, which undermines the apocalypse itself."
  • Describe instead of described, I should think. Also, I have no idea what the latter sentence means; could you please clarify?

Themes

• "This idea is connected to views of David Hartley of the "pure disinterested love of God", and this idea of transformation appears in other works by Blake, including his Jerusalem."
  • "This idea is connected to views of David Hartley of the "pure disinterested love of God", and appears in other works by Blake, including his Jerusalem."

• Is Jerusalem linkable?

• " Blake dismissed the idea of allegory except, as he wrote in an letter to Butts, 6 July 1803, "Allegory Address'd to the intellectual powers, while it is altogether hidden from the Corporeal Understanding, is My Definition of the Most Sublime Poetry""
  • Could you add a sentence of explanation of what that means?

• "Blake's understanding of time is similar..."
  • I'm not sure if understanding is the best word to use here, perhaps "interpretation" or other synonym would work better?

Factually accurate and verifiable

• Yep. NW (Talk) 17:48, 25 October 2009 (UTC)

Broad in its coverage

• Yep. NW (Talk) 17:48, 25 October 2009 (UTC)

Neutral

• Yep. NW (Talk) 17:48, 25 October 2009 (UTC)

Stable

• It's stable. NW (Talk) 17:26, 25 October 2009 (UTC)

Images

• Both look fine. NW (Talk) 17:26, 25 October 2009 (UTC)

End result

• So, it should quite definitely be passable if the few points I raised above are attended to. NW (Talk) 17:48, 25 October 2009 (UTC)

I made a whole series of changes. I went through each and adopted most of your suggestions. I rewrote the lead and four sentences that you had problems with above. As for the Blake quote, there is no real explanation because Blake was vague on the matter and I have not yet seen an interpretation that could help explain it. Ottava Rima (talk) 18:30, 25 October 2009 (UTC)

Looks good them. I'm going to go ahead and pass the article. NW (Talk) 18:34, 25 October 2009 (UTC)