Talk:Tsuki (song)/GA1

GA Review[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 20:13, 27 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Soon... Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:13, 27 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead[edit]

Namie Amuro, which appeared on her → Amuro for her
set a comma after "concept compilation album"
set a comma before and after "Dimension point"
and distributed worldwide → and released worldwide (due to word rep.)
both which → remove "both"
through iTunes Store and Amazon.com. → you may remove this, as it's irrelevant for the lead
that features instrumentation such as synthesizers, bells, and chimes. → with instrumentation consisting of...
Majority of them → The majority of them
was a success in Japan → experienced success in Japan (fancruft)
the Oricon Singles Chart; it also peaked at number three on the Japan Hot 100 chart. → the Oricon Songles Chart and the Japan Hot 100.
An accompanying music video → An accompanying music video for "Tsuki"
which features → and features
it appeared in → it was used for
and her 2014 → remove "her" as you named the word once before
concert tour → concert venue

Infobox[edit]

CD only edition. → Artwork used to commercialize the physical edition of "Tsuki"
DVD single → DVD

Background and composition[edit]

English-language Japanese music media website → Japanese music website
for January 29 → for January 29, 2014
On the singles release date, Amuro confirmed → When premiering the recording, the singer confirmed
the singles B-sides → the single's B-sides
the former track → the former song (word rep.)
with Amuro and between → with
Both tracks have also been released on the iTunes Store prior to "Tsuki", the first on October 16, 2013, whilst the latter on October 23. → The tracks have also been released through iTunes on October 16 and October 23, 2016, respectively.
instrumentation of synthesizers → instrumentation consisting of synthesizers
According to a review at Japanese music magazine CD Journal, they described the instrumentation and composition as "minimal" and noted it as a mid-tempo track. → A reviewer of Japanese music magazine CD Journal described the production of the recording "minimal", whilst noting it as a mid-tempo track.
at the Avex Sound Studios → remove "the"
B-sides are → were described
samples the composition of the track "Fire Power" by American DJ and music producer Wolfgang Gartner; he is also credited as the tracks co-songwriter. → samples elements of "Fire Power" (YEAR OF RELEASE) by American disc jockey Wolfgang Gartner, for which he received credit as a co-songwriter.
[9][7][10] → [7][9][10]

Release[edit]

set comma before and after "Dimension Point"
word rep. through "distributed" in the beginning
The CD single features the title track, both "Neonlight Lipstick" and "Ballerina", plus all three instrumentals to each respective track.[5] The DVD single features the same track list as the CD, but also includes the one music video to each song. → While the CD single features the title track, "Neon Lipstick", "Ballerina" and their respective instrumentals, the DVD single additionally incorporates their visuals.
The digital EP → A digital EP
The digital EP was released on iTunes Store, and features all six tracks from both the CD and DVD single. → A digitally released extended play features all the six songs from the physical formats.
The CD and DVD single formats were distributed in Taiwan by Avex Taiwan, featuring the same track list. → leave out
The cover artwork was shot by Japanese photographer Kazutaka Nakamura, which was an outtake of Amuro during the sessions of the photoshoot for Japanese magazine Sweet; it features Amuro inside a room full of shiny fabric and her in a long white wedding dress. → The accompanying cover artwork—portraying Amuro inside a room full of shiny fabric and her wearing a long wedding dress—was shot by Japanese photographer Kazutaka Nakamura; it acts as an outtake of the singer's photoshoot for Japanese magazine Sweet.

Reception[edit]

was positive in their review → was positive in his review
the tracks lyrical content → the track's lyrical content
In another review for her compilation album Ballada, another staff member praised the tracks "majestic" sound and the production of it. → When reviewing the singer's compilation album, another member of the website praised the song's "majestic" sound. (you got the production twice)
was a success in Japan → experienced success in Japan (due to fancruft)
week. It slipped → week, but slipping
word rep. here through "units"; change to "copies".
In its third week, it slipped outside the top 20 to number 21, and sold 4,794 units; it lasted five weeks inside the top 50 chart, and lasted 14 weeks inside the top 200 chart. → In its third week, "Tsuki" dropped to number 21 and sold 4,794 units, lasting a total of five weeks inside the top 50 and 14 weeks within the top 200.
By the end of this sentence, you repeat yourself several times with "Tsuki"; try to alternate with song, single, recording...
Digitally, "Tsuki" was a success in Japan. It debuted at number three → Additionally, the single opened at number three
one of Amuro's highest debuting singles on that chart; it stayed in there for over 10 weeks → marking one of Amuro's highest-debuting releases and staying in the chart for over ten weeks.
You use "both" one time too much
set a comma before "respectively"

Music videos[edit]

received music videos → were all accompanied by music videos
the first two directed → the first two were directed
whilst "Ballerina" was directed by YKBX → whilst the visual for "Ballerina" was filmed by YKBX
I prefer editing the synopsis by myself before passing the article
according to the director Mitsuishi → Mitsuishi further added that
Only a teaser version of the video was published on Amuro's YouTube channel on January 14, 2014. → The music video was previewed by a teaser which premiered on YouTube on January 14, 2014.
"Neonlight Lipstick" is → The visual for "Neonlight Lipstick"
based off → based on
Only a teaser version of the video was published on Amuro's YouTube channel on November 25, 2013. → Prior to the clip's release, a preview was premiered on November 25, 2013
"Ballerina" was → "Ballerina"'s clip acted as a
Only a teaser version of the video was published on Amuro's YouTube channel on November 25, 2013. → Like the previous music video, "Ballerina" was accompanied by a teaser which was released on the same day on social media.

Promotion[edit]

it appeared → it was used
song to the → song for the
album with the same name; the tracks appeared on the live DVD. → album with the same name, and appeared on the live DVD
then appeared → were subsequently included
and was included on the live DVD and CD. → and on the physical releases
For "Tsuki", it's most recent appearance was on her 2015–16 Livegenic concert tour in Japan, which was in support of Amuro's studio album Genic (2015) → "Tsuki" was most recently performed on her 2015–16 Livegenic concert venue in Japan, which supported Genic (2015).

Credits and personnel[edit]

Credits adapted from the liner notes of "Tsuki"; → Credits adapted from the liner notes of the single's physical release.
Song credits → Technical and songwriting credits
nail and make-up → nails and make-up

Charts[edit]

Add notes instead of writing the songs' titles after a semicolon (;)

Certifications and sales[edit]

Add a {{N/A|None}} for Japan's first entry

Release history[edit]

Add scope="row" for countries.
Unlink labels and formats as usual

Outcome[edit]

I've put this On hold for 7 days. Good luck with editing and don't forget to ping me when you're ready with this. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:41, 29 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: All done! Thank you for the review!

Passing article! Congrats, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:09, 4 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.