A Smith in the Hand

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"A Smith in the Hand"
American Dad! episode
Episode no. Season 2
Episode 2
Directed by Pam Cooke
Written by David Hemingson
Production code 1AJN10
Original air date September 18, 2005
Episode chronology
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"Bullocks to Stan"
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"All About Steve"
American Dad! (season 2)
List of American Dad! episodes

"A Smith in the Hand" is the second episode of the second season and the ninth overall episode of the animated comedy series American Dad!. It aired on Fox in the United States on September 18, 2005, and is written by David Hemingson and directed by Pam Cooke.[1]

In the episode, when Steve comes home from school with a permission slip for sex education, Stan decides to take matters in hand and teach his son about the birds and bees himself.


When Steve brings home a permission slip to take a sex education class at his school, Stan flips out and demands to Principal Lewis to get rid of it. But since Lewis says the class is required for Steve to graduate, Stan decides to teach the class himself, with Steve as the only student. Stan proceeds to give an exaggerated explanation that demonizes sexual activity, to convince Steve to avoid the urges. He encourages him to take up a hobby, only to end up being injured in his genitalia by Steve while wood burning in the garage. Unable to comprehend the instructions of applying ointment to his injured area, he calls the CIA doctor, who was in the middle of performing heart surgery on Vice President Dick Cheney. Due to a misunderstanding, Stan assumes after treating the area he has to also sexually stimulate it. Subsequently, he becomes secretly hooked on masturbation. He uses up all his ointment refills at the drugstore, at the expense of trading his gun. Francine feels he is no longer attracted to her and considers breast implant surgery, but instead gets Botox. Steve, who was responsible for his dad's accident, interprets his father's sudden reclusiveness as anger and disappointment in him, and he begins to do all of his parents' chores around the house.

While cleaning his parents' bedroom window, Steve learns the truth of his dad masturbating and expressed his shock. Stan tries to get out of his dilemma by blaming television. Together, Stan and Steve convince the Senators to allow them to hijack Langley Falls' television network, and use it to broadcast a puppet show advocating abstinence. Angered, Francine finally stops and tells them that discovering sexual urges is natural, claiming otherwise will lead Steve to follow in Stan's exact footsteps that would put a stop to their marriage. Finally acknowledging Francine is right, Stan elaborates to Steve the truth about sex, though also inadvertently on live TV. Nearing the end of his speech, Stan, having traumatized the viewers in the whole town, leaves Steve overwhelmed, babbling mindlessly. At this point, Francine stops him.

Meanwhile, Roger becomes a bartender after Hayley accuses Roger of wasting his time watching reality TV and drinking booze. He refuses to accept it as pretend when Hayley comes to his bar. He takes her fake ID card she uses to get into bars and threaten her with a baseball bat. Later, Hayley tries digging around in his insides for her card, only to pull out a living pancreas. It flees from the room, and Roger bemoans the fact he now has to trap it using peanut butter as bait. By the end, Roger apparently catches the pancreas, though it occurs off-screen from the camera.


The episode was watched by a total of 8.60 million people, this made it the third most watched show on Animation Domination that night, beating King of the Hill but losing to Family Guy and The Simpsons with 9.79 million.[2]


  1. ^ "American Dad! Episode Guide 2005 Season 2 - A Smith in the Hand, Episode 2". TVGuide.com. Retrieved 2014-07-08. 
  2. ^ "Weekly Program Rankings". ABC. September 20, 2005. Retrieved March 24, 2011.