Girlfriend

For other uses, see Girlfriend (disambiguation).

A girlfriend is a female friend or acquaintance, often a regular female companion with whom one is platonic, romantically or sexually involved. This could be a long-term committed relationship. This is normally a short-term committed relationship, where other titles (e.g. ladyfriend, partner) are more commonly used for long-term committed relationships. A girlfriend can also be called an admirer, beau, suitor and sweetheart.

Scope

A man with his girlfriend at Alexanderplatz in March 1975.

Partners in committed relationships are also sometimes described as a "significant other" or simply "partner", especially if the individuals are cohabiting.

"Girlfriend" and "partner" mean different things to different people; the distinctions between the terms are subjective. How the term is used will ultimately be determined by personal preference.

In 2005, a study was conducted of 115 people ages 21 to 35 who were either living with or had lived with a romantic partner. It notes that the lack of proper terms often leads to awkward situations, such as someone becoming upset over not being introduced in social situations to avoid the question.

There exists some ambiguity between the terms "girl friend," or a friend who is a girl, and "girlfriend." The transition between the two is a significant aspect of adolescent development.

Both forms of "girlfriend" and "girl friend" are used by different people to mean different things. For example, when the term "girlfriend" is used by a girl or woman about another female in a non-sexual, non-romantic context, the two-word form "girl friend" is sometimes used to avoid confusion with the sexual or romantic meaning; however, this is not a rule. In this sense of its usage, "girlfriend" is used in terms of very close friends and has no sexual connotations, unless it is in the case of lesbian, bisexual women. The term "girlfriend" is also used in LGBT communities and can refer to people of any sex or sexuality.

The term "girlfriend" does not necessarily imply a sexual relationship, but is often used to refer to a girl or woman who is dating a male she is not engaged to without indicating whether she is having sex with him. With differing expectations of sexual mores, the term "dating" can imply romantic activity whereas simply using "friend" would likely avoid implying such intimacy. It is essentially equivalent to the term "sweetheart", which has also been used as a term of endearment.

Etymology

The word "girlfriend" was first used in 1863 as "a woman's female friend in youth.” In 1922, the word girlfriend was used to mean a man’s sweetheart.

The word "dating" entered the American language during the Roaring Twenties. Prior to that, courtship was a matter of family and community interest. Starting around the time of the Civil War, courtship became a private matter for couples.

Related terms

• A female engaged in an extramarital relationship with a married man is frequently considered a "mistress". The word "mistress" was originally used as a neutral counterpart for the words "mister" or "master".
• The word "madam" is still a respectful form of address, but has had sexual connotations since the early 18th century and has been used to refer to the owner of a brothel since the early 20th century.
• Some terms of endearment directed to females, a romantic relationship not required, are "darling", "sweetheart", "love", etc.
• Users of Internet slang and SMS slang often shorten "girlfriend" to the initialism "gf".
• Additionally, gender-indiscriminate terms also apply (e.g., lover, heartthrob, paramour, squeeze, sweetheart, true love, wooer, date, escort, steady, admirer, bae, or companion).

Distinction from "lady friend"

A similar, but not equivalent, concept is the more ambiguous "lady friend" – a companion of the female gender who is possibly less than a girlfriend but potentially more than a friend. That is to say, the relationship is not necessarily platonic, nor is it necessarily an exclusive, serious, committed, or long-term relationship. The term avoids the overt sexual implications that come with referring to a woman as someone's "mistress" or "lover". In that sense, it can often be a euphemism. The term can also sometimes be employed when someone simply does not know the exact status of a woman that a man has been associating with. For instance, tabloid headlines often note that a celebrity has been seen with a new "lady friend". "Lady friend" may also be used to signify a romantic relationship with an older woman, when the term "girl" as in "girlfriend" may be deemed age-inappropriate.

The New York Times style guide discourages the use of the term "girlfriend" for an adult romantic partner, stating, "Companion is a suitable term for an unmarried partner of the same or the opposite sex." The Times received some criticism for referring to Shaha Riza as the "girlfriend" of World Bank president Paul Wolfowitz in one article about the controversy over their relationship. Other news articles in the Times had generally referred to her as Wolfowitz's "companion".

See also

• Domestic partnership
• Girlfriend experience

Bibliography

• Sociocultural Perspectives on Language Change in Diaspora David R. Andrews (1998); John Benjamins Publishing Company, ISBN 90-272-1835-8.
• The Handbook of Language and Gender By Janet Holmes, Miriam Meyerhoff (2003); Blackwell Publishing, ISBN 0-631-22502-1.
• In Your Face: Stories from the Lives of Queer Youth Mary L. Gray (1999); Haworth Press, ISBN 0-7890-0076-8.
• Defining Language: A Local Grammar of Definition Sentences Geoff Barnbrook (2002); John Benjamins Publishing Company, ISBN 1-58811-298-5.
• How Not To Say What You Mean: A Dictionary of Euphemisms R. W. Holder (2002); Oxford University Press, ISBN 0-19-860402-5.