Great Green Gobs of Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts

"Great Green G(l)obs of Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts" is an anonymous folk song popular among school children. It is usually sung to the tune of "The Old Gray Mare."

The song

There are many local and regional variants among the lyrics, although most of them feature the phrase "Great green g(l)obs of greasy grimy gopher guts" in the opening line. The song derives its power to amuse children through alliterative description of disgusting foodstuffs, usually parts of human or animal bodies not customarily eaten in the areas in which it is sung.

The song appears on the Smithsonian Folkways collection A Fish That's a Song, a collection of traditional children's songs from the United States, where it is performed by Mika Seeger. The Smithsonian recording came from an earlier recording called The Sounds of Camp, originally released in 1959. No author nor copyright in the song is credited on the Smithsonian recording. The lyrics performed by Mika Seeger are: Here is the whole song including verses written by Tom Glazer Great, Green Gobs of Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts (Tom Glazer)

    CHO: Great, green gobs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts,
    Mutilated monkey meat, itty bitty birdie feet.
    Great, green gobs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts,
    And me without a spoon.

    Some people eat hamburger meat while others like potatoes,
    And some must chew their Irish stew along with ripe tomatoes.
    I can't understand why in ev'ry land, they serve such peculiar dishes.
    For wherever I go, they always say "No!" when I tell them what my wish is.
    I scream for ... (Chorus)

    I can pay my way in a French café which is big and quite expensive,
    Where the diners dine and the wine is fine, but I'm always apprehensive.
    When the menu comes, I twiddle my thumbs at the list of fancy dishes:
    Caviar and steaks, champagne and cake, is never what my wish is.
    I beg for ... (Chorus)

    In the life to come, I intend to hum this hymn to old Saint Peter:
    I won't need much, when my harp I touch, and become a heavenly eater.
    I won't ask for money or milk and honey, and my voice will never falter
    While the trumpets blare on the Golden Stair as I stand at the Shining Altar.
    I yell for ... (Chorus)

    (Tag:) And me without a spoon! Yuck!
    copyright Tom Glazer

Here are the other variations:

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,

Mutilated monkey meat

little Dirty birdie feet.

french fried eye balls boiled in a bowl of blood

and thats what I had for lunch and it was good.

Countless variations have sprung up over the decades, incorporating virtually any disgusting combination of descriptive words and animal organs. Another variation is: "Great green globs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts, Simulated monkey feet, chopped up baby parakeet.!"

Some versions add a line after the forgotten spoon:

• "Does anybody have a straw?" or "And I forgot my straw!" or even "But I have a straw."

Today, it is sung like:

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts

Mutilated monkey feet

Chopped up baby parakeet

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts

And me without my spoon

Other variations include replacing the 2nd "Great green globs of..." with "16 eyeballs rolling down the main street", as well as another version.

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts

Mutilated monkey feet

Horse's head and piggy feet

And I forgot my spoon

But I have a straw

Scab sandwich with pus on top

Monkey Eyeballs and Camel snot

Great big Gobs of Greasy Grimey Gopher Guts

And I forgot my Spoon (Boo, Hoo)

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts

Mutilated monkey meat

Charbroiled turkey feet

One pint jar of all purpose porpoise pus

And I forgot my spoon

-Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts

-Mutilated monkey feet

-Pussy Pickled parrots feet

-French Fried eyeballs rolling down a muddy street

-And I forgot my spoon... but I got a straw!

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts

Mutilated monkey butts

itty bitty birdie feet

pretty pink piles of percolated peacock puke

And me without a spoon

Another version:

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,

Mutilated monkey meat,

Chopped up baby birdie feet,

French fried eye balls,

Rolling up and down the street.

And I'm without my spoon.

And another:

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,

Mutilated monkey meat,

Dirty little birdie feet,

All ("chopped up in" or "topped off with") purple vulture vomit,

And me with out my spoon!

(I've got a straawwwwwwwwww...)

And this one:

Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,

mutilated monkey meat,

itty bitty birdie feet.

Put 'em all together and whaddya got?

That's what I had for lunch

without a spoon....

Another version:

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,

mutilated monkey meat,

dirty little birdie feet.

great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,

and I forgot my spoon

This variation turns the song into an insult:

Great big gobs of greasy-grimy-gopher-guts,

Mutilated monkey meat,

Itsy bitsy birdie's feet.

French-fried eye-balls swimming in a pool of blood

And <Murray> remembered his spoon!

Yet another variant (As memory serves from the 1950s):

Great green gobs of greasy-grimy-gopher-guts,

Mutilated Porcupine, little dirty birdie feet

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts

And me, without a spoon

A summer camp variation:

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts

mutilated monkey meat, little lurkey turkey feet.

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts...

That's what I had for LUNCH! YUM!

Here is one more:

Great big globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,

mutilated monkey meat, little bloody birdy feet,

two hairy eyeballs rollin' on down the street

oops, I forgot my spoon

And still another one is:

Great Big Gobs of green, greasy gopher guts,

mutilated monkey meat, little birdie's dirty feet.

Great big gobs of green, greasy gopher guts,

and I forgot my spoon.

And one more from the 1970s in Georgia.

Great Big Gobs of green, greasy gopher guts,

mutilated monkey meat, dirty little birdie's dirty feet.

French Fried Eyeballs Rollin' in a puddle of blood.

That's what girl's are made of................

A longer version:

Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,

mutilated monkey meat, itty bitty birdie feet.

French fried eyeballs sitting in a pool of blood,

and I forgot my spoon.

So give me a scaaaab sandwhich, mmmm, mustard on top,

eagle eyeballs and camel snot.

All these things are cooked in a pot,

So give me some puke with sugar on top!

Here is the original that we sang when I was younger:
Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Tiny little birdie's feet

Great big plops of all purporse porpoise pus
And here I am without a spoon
I....got...a...straw!

Another version, Horace Mann Day Camp, NY, NY c. 1983-1985

Great green gobs of greasy, grimey gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
chopped up baby parakeets
All these things are very very good to eat
But I forgot my spoon

So they served me
A ham sandwich
with boogers on top
monkey vomit
and camel snot
parakeet eyeballs mixed with goo
all these things are very good for you

What's for dinner
Horse manure
Where'd they find it
In the sewer

This is a Michigan version circa 1968
Great green gobs of greasy, grimey gopher guts
Concentrated monkey meat
Little birdies dirty feet
ALl mixed up in antelopes vomiting
Don't you wish you had a spoon?
Fried boogers sprinkled on top
Monkeys eyes and camel snot
Chopped up eyeballs mixed with glue
Refreshing while it's helping you!

Maine (1980s): Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat Little turdy birdy feet All wrapped up in one big bloody sheet And me without my spoon.

Appearances in media

• This song was sung by Bloo in the animated television show Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends to calm down an imaginary friend named Cheese when he was screaming from a previous event. It calmed him down for a moment, but Bloo looked forward to the finish of the song by singing "and I don't got a spoon", Cheese took notice to this part by repeating "No spoon?" and resumed screaming as he did before, with Bloo taking great amusement.

• It appeared in an early episode of Ren and Stimpy; Stimpy sings it in the kitchen while mixing some batter using the line "smothered in a pool of blood".

• It also appeared in the film Caddyshack in which it was sung by Bill Murray's character Carl Spackler.

• Artist Dr. Demento has made a cover of this song, though he replaces the last line with "I made it all for you" instead of "And me without my spoon."

• Penn Jillette - [Great Green Gobs (MP3)] - An all-time favorite at dinner parties, performed by magician, skeptic, and record producer Penn Jillette, the talking half of Penn & Teller. Also shows up on GreatGreenGobs.com.

• This song was sung by George Clooney (Jack Taylor) and Mae Whitman (Maggie Taylor) in the movie One Fine Day (1996). The scene takes place in the back of a taxi cab where Clooney, Whitman, Michelle Pfeiffer (Melanie Parker) and Alex D. Linz (Sammy Parker) are on their way to their kids' soccer game and Melanie remembers she has to meet her boss and two clients for drinks across town at Club 21. She scrambles to get ready for the meeting, handing her brush to Jack saying "Hold this", then Jack and Maggie use the brush as a microphone to sing the song.

• A version of this song also appeared in the book The Fledgling (1980) by Jane Langton. It appears on page 26 when Oliver, Eddy's huge, pesky friend appears to tease Eleanor as she plays in her yard with Eddy.

• A version of this song was sung by Bug Hall in "Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves" (1997) when he is getting the volcano from his room for the chili volcano.

• A version of this song was sung by Drew, Kate, Lewis and Oswald in the final episode of Season 2 of the Drew Carey show as the gang is driving to New York in an ice cream truck.

• This song (and its lyrics) were mentioned in "Runaway Ralph" by Beverly Cleary.

• In a deleted scene cut from the final version of The Good Son Henry and Mark sing this during their walk in the woods,the scene can be seen during the trailer, it was used in the novel. The film trailer variation sung by Macaulay Culkin and Elijah Wood is as follows:

"Great Big Gobs of Mutilated Monkey Meat

Greasy, Grimy, Gopher Guts

Chopped Up Little Piggy Feet

French Fried Eyeballs

Swimming in a Pool of Blood

Mmmmm, That Sure Tastes Good!"

• In an episode of Histeria! Loud Kiddington sings this song to annoy some Indians.

• In the comic strip Soup to Nutz on June 4, 2010. Sung by Royboy on the phone.

• In the Bobby's World episode "Psycho Bobby" Bobby sings this song for his mother at her birthday.

See also

• Children's street culture
• Dead Skunk (in the Middle of the Road)

References

• Josepha Sherman and T.K.F. Weisskopf, Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts: The Subversive Folklore of Childhood (August House, 1995).
• Pifer, Lynn."Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts: The Subversive Folklore of Childhood." review of book by Sherman and Weisskopf). Journal of American Folklore. Washington: Winter 1997.Vol.110, Iss. 435; pg. 105
• del Negro, Janice. "Professional reading—Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts: The Subversive Folklore of Childhood by Josepha Sherman and T. K. F. Weiskopt." book review in The Booklist. Chicago: Apr 15, 1996.Vol.92, Iss. 16; pg. 1448
• Ian Turner, June Factor, Wendy Lowenstein, Cinderella Dressed in Yella, 2nd Edition (Heinemann, 1978).