Talk:Trevor Ford/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Liam E. Bekker (talk · contribs) 20:25, 13 May 2017 (UTC)

Hi Kosack, I'll be conducting the review of this page. Please see below issues that I've picked up. Where our opinions/ideas clash please let me know so that we can try to hash out a solution. It looks a lot but most of my concerns are minor and shouldn't take too long to resolve. Please tick each issue off or comment next to/below the point on which it is raised for ease of reference.

Lede

Para 1

• ...during a career that lasted fifteen years → ...during a career that spanned fifteen years. - Done
• Welsh national team → Wales national team (I am aware of WP:FOOTY discussion on this matter) - this may be a matter of preference but I see this version used more generally. - Done

Para 2

• Remove duplicate "as" at the start of the sentence. - Done
• clubs → club's - Done
• The sentence is very long. Try and break it into two. - Done

Para 3

• Sentence 2 needs some work. Perhaps simplified to say "At Sunderland, Ford formed a strike partnership with England international Len Shackleton,"...and then flow into the next sentence as it does. - Done
• Sentence 3: his → Ford's - Done
• Sentence 4 seems a bit long/mouthy. Try and re-word it / break it into two for ease of reading. - Done
• Sentence 5 repeats the phrase where he spent three seasons before which is used in the sentence before. Try and change the wording a bit there as well. - Done
• Sentence 5: Include Romford alongside Newport at end of sentence. - Done

Early life

Para 1

• ...Trevor sr → ...Trevor Sr. - Done

Para 2

• Sentence 1: Perhaps link plimsoll - I had no idea what it was when I read it and other readers may be equally uninformed. - Done
• Sentence 2 suggestive improvement: After moving into secondary school, Ford met teacher David Benyon, a prominent figure in youth football in the area and was included in the Swansea boys team which was managed by Benyon. → After moving into secondary school, Ford met teacher David Benyon, who was a prominent figure in youth football in the area and included him in the Swansea boys team which he managed. - Done
• Sentence 4: "and" is missing before "returned to playing..." - Done

Para 3

• Sentence 1: Delete "as a teenager,..." - Done
• Sentence 2: Swansea Tow → Swansea Town - Done

Early career

Para 1

• Sentence 2: ....and the team gained some success in the competitions which attracted scouts from several clubs → ...where he attracted the attention of scouts from several clubs. - Done
• Sentence 4: Full stop after "war". Start next sentence with "However,". - Done

Para 2

• Sentence 2: Link manager to Manager (association football) - Done
• Sentence 2: The flow of the sentence seems to be about Green so I would change "...offering 17 year old Ford an amateur contract in 1940 before signing his first professional contract..." → offering 17 year old Ford an amateur contract in 1940 before signing him to his first professional contract... - Done
• Sentence 6: Swans →Swansea - Done
• Sentence 6: "...and Tommy Dodds → "...plus Tommy Dodds" - Done
• Sentence 6: Unlink Tommy Dodds - page doesn't exist.
• Sentence 7 could probably be removed altogether. It doesn't seem to have had an important bearing on his career and otherwise seems like transfer speculation. - Done

Sunderland

Para 1

• Sentence 2: Link Daily Mail
• Sentence 4: "He was a footballing celebrity" → "He was seen as a footballing celebrity" (tone seems less biased)
• Sentence 4: "...and had made 128 appearances for Villa between January 1947 and October 1950 scoring 61 goals." → "having made 128 appearances for Villa between January 1947 and October 1950 and scored 61 goals."

Para 2

• Sentence 1: Link hat-trick
• Sentence 1: Insert comma after "one goal"
• Sentence 3 suggestive improvement: Full stop after price-tag. New sentence to read → Ford revealed that he was relieved that the record had been broken, describing the fee as "weighing heavy on his shoulders"
• Sentence 5: link season to 1952–53 Football League
• Sentence 5: Is the bit on Nat Lofthouse necessary?

Later career

Para 1

• Sentence 1: Comma after "high spending"
• Sentence 1: Ford's → his and He → Ford
• Sentence 1: ..."a club record..." → ...which was a club record...
• Sentence 2: "The club" → Cardiff and "Cardiff manager" → club manager
• Sentence 3: Remove the "We want Ford" part of the quotation, and continue with the club desperate...

Para 2

• Sentence 5: Full stop after "1957" - remove "but" and start new sentence With the suspension...
• Sentence 6: "clubs" → PSV's

International career

Para 2

• Sentence 3 needs a reference
• Sentence 5: Comma after "first"

Hi Liam, thanks very much for the review. I've made a quick start and fixed everything down to the Sunderland section. The only one I would query is removing the red link to Dodds. As Dodds would pass WP:NFOOTBALL, I believed the use of a red link was allowed by WP:REDLINK to encourage creation. I'll crack on with the rest as soon as possible. Thanks again. Kosack (talk) 22:15, 13 May 2017 (UTC)

@Liam E. Bekker: I've fixed all of the issues you raised regarding the article apart from the red link comment I made above. Let me know your thoughts. Kosack (talk) 14:17, 15 May 2017 (UTC)

Hi Kosack, awesome work. From what I can tell you are correct about WP:REDLINK. I'll have another proper read through tomorrow afternoon but the only other issue I've picked up is the opening line for Sunderland. I'm a bit hesitant to open a paragraph with "However..." → Could that be changed to something like "Aston Villa were, however, never able..." - You can then also remove Aston Villa from the end of the sentence.

@Liam E. Bekker: Sorted that issue. Kosack (talk) 18:42, 15 May 2017 (UTC)

Thank you for your speedy edits Kosack. The page has now been promoted GA status. Cheers, Liam E. Bekker (talk) 19:16, 15 May 2017 (UTC)

Review checklist

• Comment on requirement 5 below: There was recent disagreement on the page after GA Nomination. I am satisfied, however, that the issues raised have been sufficiently handled by discussion on WP:FOOTY.

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail: