Wikipedia:Peer review/Grey's Anatomy (season 3)/archive1

Grey's Anatomy (season 3)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it was recently listed as a good article and I believe that, after months of contributions, the article is close to meeting Featured Article criteria. However, I need to know what this article needs in order to promoted to FA. I would like specific details.

Thank you, Jonathan Harold Koszeghi (talk) 10:20, 22 June 2012 (UTC)

• One drive-by suggestion: take a thorough look through the article and fix tense-mixing. While the episode summaries can clearly be in the present tense (this is standard practice) the remainder of the article should all be in the past, since it describes a series that took place in the past. So in sentences like: "The season followed the continuation of the surgical residency of five young interns as they experience the difficulties of the competitive careers they have chosen" we should have "experienced" and "chose". A number of other instances of tense-mixing are peppered through the article. They're fairly easy to spot.

• Consider ways to make the prose more concise. Conciseness makes things easier and more inviting to read. In the above sentence, something like "The season followed five young surgical interns as they contended with the difficulties of their competitive careers" might be a little bit better. "Demands" might be better than "difficulties" because it's two syllables instead of four. Every single extra word and syllable burdens the reader.

• Some of the paragraphs further down in the article are too long and should be split up. How to do it is a judgment call, but readers are going to feel overwhelmed seeing these enormous blocks of text.--Batard0 (talk) 15:35, 13 July 2012 (UTC)
  •  Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 07:31, 16 July 2012 (UTC)