Wikipedia:Peer review/Gumpert/archive1

Gumpert

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for January 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because Ive largely expanded the article. The article was never before assessed, so I want to know how to improve it. Ill appreciate any comments!

Thanks, Lourie Pieterse (talk) 08:48, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: I stopped reviewing about two-thirds of the way through because of the many serious violations of WP:NPOV. Much of the article reads like advertising copy written by either the manufacturer or a true enthusiast with a strong pro-Gumpert bias. To make this into a valid encyclopedia article, you need to focus on supportable facts and to avoid inserting opinions and rah-rah stuff. Please read the NPOV page and revise to include only what can be supported by reliable sources. I'd be happy to take another look at the article after you re-work it with neutrality in mind.

Lead

• Lowercase Gumpert throughout. The title is correctly lowercased.
• "GUMPERT apollo" - The should be written "Gumpert Apollo".
• "GUMPERT Sportwagenmanufaktur's success is thanks to Gumpert's ability to combine ground breaking ideas with 21st century technologies effectively and successfully." Sorry. This reads like advertising copy. It violates WP:NPOV.

History

• "This car combined the highest form of aerodynamics with matchless driving capabilities." - POV
• "To enroot a real car from a model is a long way to go. You also need a great deal of experience and even more expertise to be successful in the end. That's why Gumpert took over the development a few years ago." - POV
• "This full-scale model of the apollo established immense excitement, both from the public and potential clientele." - POV
• The Manual of Style (MoS) deprecates fancy quotation marks. In addition, the two quotations in this section are shorter than four lines, the minimum that the MoS recommends setting off separately in blockquotes. Quotes this short should appear embedded in the main text inside regular quotation marks. Immediately after the punctuation ending a direct quote, you need to add a citation to the source of the quote.

Development

• The MoS generally deprecates lists like the one in this section and suggests turning the lists into straight prose, where feasible. Bolding should be used only for Gumpert Sportwagenmanufaktur GmbH in the lead and not elsewhere in the text.

Availability

• "The apollo is the perfect combination between a road car and a sports car." POV
• "This complete package is available at a cost-performance correlation that is incomparable to this exclusive vehicle class." Ouch. POV

I hope these brief suggestions prove helpful. Finetooth (talk) 18:14, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments

• I had looked at the article just because I did not know what a "Gumpert" was and agree 100% on the POV issues.
• I also noted that the article is overlinked, for example Roland Gumpert should be linked at most twice (once in the lead and the first time his name appears in the main text) but he is linked 5 or 6 times. See WP:OVERLINK
• See also is generally for links to articles that are not already linked in the article. Under no circumstances should there be red links under See also (since you can't go to an article that does not exist)
• {{cquote}} is used for quoatations, but according to WP:MOSQUOTE you should use {{blockquote}} instead. Even there the quote is supposed to be at least four lines long but the quotes so set off here are not that long, at least on my monitor.

I hope this helps, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 20:03, 21 January 2009 (UTC)