Wikipedia:Peer review/Woman Seeking Dead Husband: Smokers Okay, No Pets/archive1

Woman Seeking Dead Husband: Smokers Okay, No Pets

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I hope to bring this successfully through FAC as the first in what will hopefully be several featured articles in my Psych (season 1) topic. There is not too much to go on for this article. Only two major critics reviewed the episode, and there is not too much in the way of production information. However, this is probably the best article there could be with the provided info. My biggest concern is prose, since history has shown that I'm not the strongest writer. All comments appreciated.

Thanks, Awardgive. Help out with Project Fillmore County 00:00, 2 April 2014 (UTC)

General

• Your writing is repetitive in a lot of places. Something to look out for is variety in the way you construct your sentences. For example, take a look at the first para of Reception. The sentences begin "The episide was", "It aired", "The episode aired", "The episode was". See the pattern? Not a big deal for a GA but it will not pass for FA criteron 1 (brilliant prose).
• Here's an example fix: Instead of "The episode was rebroadcast by the National Broadcasting Corporation (NBC) on August 7, 2006, due to the network's struggling ratings.", you could write "Due to the network's struggling ratings, the National Broadcasting Corporation (NBC) rebroadcast the episode on August 7, 2006." That's an improvement not only because it introduces variety, but because I put the the subject of the sentence before the verb and object. Make sense?

I'm going to continue looking, but I won't make too many detailed prose comments since I think a lot of the sentences are going to have to be rewritten based on what I said above. You will probably have to work with a good copy editor. --Spike Wilbury (talk) 16:37, 22 April 2014 (UTC)