Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Richard Mohun

Richard Mohun

Hi I just wanted to get a quick review of this article as I (eventually) want to get it to GA but I can't make much headway with it at the moment. Any suggestions welcome - Dumelow (talk) 10:03, 21 September 2008 (UTC)

It looks over-sectioned. I'd try to merge a few, or use sub-section headers (===) rather than section headers (==) in parts. Please consider adding {{persondata|PLEASE SEE [[WP:PDATA]]!}} along with the required parameters to the article - see Wikipedia:Persondata for more information.^[?] DrKiernan (talk) 12:57, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

I have cut out a couple of the sections, let me know if it still looks too much. I have also added persondata to the article. Thanks for the feedback - Dumelow (talk) 16:40, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Review by Anne Teedham

I found the article interesting, encyclopedic, and well-developed. If I were to ask for anything more, it would be that I wanted just an extra little something, somewhere, which would have made me feel as if Mohun was more than a textbook identity. By that, I mean: I wanted to know more about him as an "adventurer", a man, a human being, a person who could witness cannabalism and...what? say something about it, I suppose. I believe that the closest I got to experiencing Mohun as a man was in his remark about participating in the burning of the chieftain's village: "[I was] satisfied in my own conscience that I had rid the country of a brute and unnecessary member of society." I think that I wanted this same kind of commentary elsewhere: a little insight into his human-ness. On the whole though...very good article. Anne Teedham (talk) 19:03, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Anne, thanks for your work on improving and reviewing this article. I agree that it is always nice to see something of the character of a person in their article and that is certainly something to strive for in the future (when hopefully more sources surface) - Dumelow (talk) 21:51, 27 November 2008 (UTC)