I Take Thee Quagmire

"I Take Thee Quagmire"

“I Take Thee Quagmire” is an episode from the fourth season of FOX animated television series Family Guy. It guest-starred Adam Carolla as Death, Nicole Sullivan as Joan and Alex Trebek as himself. 7.98 million people watched.

Plot summary

When Peter makes a surprise win (with the use of Z, 4, three Q's, and the Batman Symbol) on Wheel of Fortune, he wins a free maid (named Joan) for a week. While he shows off how he could cause a huge mess for her to clean up (specifically, giving an exploding watermelon filled with chocolate pudding and M80 Firecrackers to Meg), she meets Quagmire who immediately falls for her. He gives up his philandering ways and becomes a caring lover. He proposes to Joan. Peter, however, becomes irritated by the changes Quagmire made for his new fiancee.

Meanwhile, Lois is concerned when Stewie’s teeth cause her pain during breastfeeding. Brian suggests that Lois begin weaning Stewie, to which Stewie objects.

During the reception for his wedding, Quagmire turns back into his old self when he notices Lois’s engorged breasts. That night, he attempts to dump Joan, but she threatens suicide if they ever break-up, forcing Quagmire to pretend he was joking. Realizing his mistake, he enlists help from his friends to get him out of it quick, at one point asking Cleveland how he got out of his marriage, to which Cleveland replies “You slept with my wife!”, a reference to the episode “The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire.” They choose to fake his death.

The following day, Peter, Joe and Cleveland inform Joan of Quagmire's tragic "death" and to prove it, present an extremely unconvincing video which features Quagmire being attacked by a wheelchair-bound Ninja (Joe), a popgun wielding Nazi (Cleveland), a tin-pot robot (Peter) and then finally being eaten by a T-Rex (which is in fact just a toy being waved in front of the camera by Peter). Not surprisingly, Joan doesn't believe them, which forces them to switch to their backup plan - Quagmire returns home, and then immediately fakes death from a heart attack.

Peter's plan to dig up Quagmire's coffin is jeopardized when it's revealed that Mayor West has enacted a law that means all coffins must be buried under ten feet of concrete (in order to prevent zombie attacks), and Peter is forced to pull the still-living Quagmire out of the coffin in front of the attendees. Joan is relieved, but Death has come and must collect a body. Joan jumps in front of Quagmire and touches Death, which kills her. Quagmire’s friends then inform Death that her last name was Quagmire and that she was suicidal, and so Death takes her body, allowing Quagmire to live.

Notes

• Nicole Sullivan and Patrick Warburton also work together on the series Kim Possible whose star Christy Carlson Romano guest stars as a one night stand for Quagmire. In addition, she appeared in Disney’s Meet the Robinsons with one of her character’s brothers being played by Adam West.
• Chris Griffin does not appear in this episode (although he does appear in a deleted scene).
• This episode was rated TV-MA when it first premiered on Cartoon Network (for sexual content and violence, specifically the scene where Joan threatens to kill herself when Quagmire asks her for a divorce and the subplot about Lois’s breasts). In all reruns, the rating is changed to TV-14 for suggestive dialogue (D) and violence (V), however, one airing (on April 18, 2007) had the rating changed to TV-14 for suggestive dialogue (D) and sexual situations (S).
• The Wheel of Fortune scene is almost completely factually accurate down to the shopping (though the shopping segment hasn’t been shown on Wheel of Fortune since the late 1980s), the bonus round with only five consonants and a vowel, the ceramic dalmatian which was frequently offered as a prize, the $25,000 sign, and a near-perfect rendition of the 1980s “Changing Keys” theme song.
• This episode’s Jeopardy! scene includes one of the few times that Mayor West’s apparent delusions were proven correct, and sends Alex Trebek back to the fifth dimension by making Alex say his name backwards. On the June 15, 2007 episode of Jeopardy!, Jared Cohen, a contestant who was in third place with $1, used "Kebert Xela" as his Final Jeopardy! answer in a reference to this episode. Interestingly enough, Alex does not say his name in the same manner as he did in the Family Guy episode.

Censorship

• When the watermelon exploded on Meg, she was originally intended to say “Fuck you! Kiss my fucking ass!”, however, according to her voice actress Mila Kunis, it was “way too obvious” and replaced with “I hate you! I hate you!” However, it was seen on the Region 4 Volume 4 DVD release.
• On the FOX version of this episode, Cleveland’s use of the word “erection” is bleeped out. The Cartoon Network/Adult Swim version doesn’t have it bleeped out, nor does the DVD (the commentary does mention that FOX bleeping out the word made Cleveland’s statement sound dirtier than originally intended).

DVD exclusive scenes

On the DVD version when Peter decides to fake Quagmire’s death, he adds “This will be better than that soda I invented,” then goes to a cutaway of Peter pitching Crystal Pepsi and stating that it’s better than regular Pepsi, in case someone comes at the drinker with a knife and the drinker can’t see past the regular Pepsi. According to DVD commentary, this scene was rejected because of a Standards and Practices rule where a TV show couldn’t favor a product that’s not a show sponsor.

In the collection of deleted scenes on the Family Guy Volume 4 DVD, after Quagmire’s request for a divorce gets shot down by Joan threatening to slit her wrist, there is a scene where Quagmire says that whatever problems they have shouldn’t be solved so drastically and gives the example of the time Chris Griffin thought he was pregnant. It then goes to a cutaway of Chris (in what would have been his only appearance in this episode had this scene aired) refusing a tuna sandwich from Lois and complaining that the mercury in the tuna could kill the baby he’s supposedly carrying.

Cultural references

• The scene where Alex Trebek is sent to another dimension is a reference to the Superman character Mister Mxyzptlk, who is sent back to the fifth dimension when he is tricked into saying his name backwards.
  • On June 15, 2007, Jared Cohen, a 2-time champion on Jeopardy!, jokingly responded to that day's Final Jeopardy! clue with "What is Kebert Xela?", claiming that, as in this episode, it would send Trebek to another dimension.<ref>Jeopardy! Game 1905</reg>
• A cutaway shows Peter throwing a tomahawk at Ashton Kutcher. He then says, "You’ve just been Tomahawk’d! That’s my show...Tomahawk’d.", parodying Kutcher's prank show Punk’d.

Goofs

• When Hal Wilkerson hits his wife with the freezer door it changes directions before and after he hits her.
• When Lois shows Brian her breasts, her bra is clearly seen in stop frames so there is no way Brian can see the areola.
• During the fake death video, Quagmire is shot by Cleveland (dressed as a Nazi) with a toy gun that propels a small, blue ball. The ball bounces off Quagmire and remains lying on the ground while Peter (dressed as “An Evil Pots and Pans Robot”) attacks Quagmire. The ball disappears after the cutaway inside Quagmire’s house though it can still be seen on the television behind Peter.
• Stewie is seen breast-feeding in this episode, apparently having never been weaned. This is a continuity error, however, as Stewie is seen in many past episodes as eating solid food.
• In the Wheel of Fortune segment, although the segment resembles older episodes, the bonus Wheel is in the picture. It should not be there because Bonus Wheel was added in 2001 and the gallery of prizes was gone before then.