Little Johnny

Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions and has a very straightforward thinking. At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex (then he is known as (Little) dirty Johnny while at others he is all too innocent. He also has a cousin Dirty Ernie.

Little Johnny in other countries

Joke characters similar to Little Johnny are known in other countries:

• Poland: Jaś (diminutive of Jan)[1]
• Finland: Pikku-Kalle
• Hungary: Móricka
• Russia: Vovochka
• Germany: Fritzchen
• Spain and Hispanophone Latin America: Jaimito
• Netherlands: Jantje, a stereotype of the average little Dutch boy, a diminutive of Jan
• Italy: Pierino

Little Johnny jokes

• Ms. Smith stopped to reprove Johnny for making faces: "Johnny, when I was small, my mother used to tell me that if I made ugly faces, at some moment it would freeze and stay like that." Johnny looked up at her and thoughtfully replied: "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't forewarned."
• The teacher asks everyone in the class to demonstrate something exciting. When Johnny's turn came, he walked to the blackboard and drew a small dot. "What's that?" the teacher asked, puzzled. "It's a period." – "Well, I see that, but what's exciting about a period?" – "Darned if I know, but this morning my sister said she missed one... Dad had a heart attack, mom fainted, and the guy next door shot himself."
• The teacher asked one day, "What is a word that begins with a?" Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher ignored him, thinking that he might say something uncouth. "Apple," another student answered. Next, she asked, "What words begins with b?" Again, Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher ignored him. "Balloon," another student said. Finally, the teacher got down to R, and Little Johnny again raised his hand. She couldn't think of anything particularly dirty that started with R, and finally decided to let him have a chance. "Do you know a word that begins with R?" "Rats!! Big Fucking Rats!!!"

Little Johnnys dad went to a horse auction and took Little Johnny with him. As they looked at the different horses, Johnnys dad would fell the horses legs and pat its rump. "Why do you do that" asked Little Johnny. His dad answered that he wanted to make sure the horse was healthy before he bought it. " Gosh dad", exclaimed Little Johnny, I think the UPS man wants to buy Mom!