Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy

"Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy"

"Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy" is episode 1010 (#149) of Comedy Central's South Park. It originally aired on October 18, 2006. This episode is a parody of the Debra Lafave teacher-pupil sex scandal and the Dog the Bounty Hunter TV series. In the recent UK poll Paramount Comedy's Top 10 Episodes, this episode was ranked number 9.

Plot

In this episode Cartman is sent to the principal's office (he thinks because he was told on by Kelly Nelson, whom he had made throw up by sticking his finger up his anus and tricking her in to thinking his finger smelled like lemon grass) to be appointed school hall monitor and quickly starts taking his newfound job seriously. Dressed up as Duane Chapman from Dog the Bounty Hunter he finds a piece of litter in the hall — a picture that Ike had made of his teacher, Ms. Stephenson, whom Ike apparently has a crush on,- storms into her classroom and berates Ike. She explains to him that there have been "teachers on the news lately who have been having relationships with young male students." However, she then admits she loves him as well, with the REO Speedwagon song, "Can't Fight This Feeling" playing. In the montage that follows, they visit an amusement park, watch a sunset and have dinner together, ending with the two in bed, having had sex the previous night. Ms. Stephenson, worried that "they would never understand," uses the excuse of private tutoring to engage in a sexual relationship with Ike.

One day, when Kyle goes to pick Ike up from the teacher's house, as he had a doctors' appointment that day, he hears Afternoon Delight being played, which leads to the bathroom, where he discovers Ms. Stephenson taking a bubble bath. At first, he thinks he interrupted her, then Ike pops out of the bubbles with a mask and snorkel. He drags Ike off, but is met with resistance, and is shocked to discover that the two have been having a relationship under his family's nose, especially as Ike wants it. Hinting to his parents that the two are having a sexual relationship does not work, mostly due to resistance from Ike himself. When Kyle reports the crime anonymously to the police, he discovers that they find the idea of a boy sleeping with an attractive female teacher "...Nice." Even Kyle's friends don't mind the transgression. Cartman, however, finds out they're making out in the halls, which is of course, against school regulations.

When Cartman catches them making out in the hallway, and Ike without a hall pass, he maces Ms. Stephenson (with a brand made for use on bears) and takes them both to the principal's office, whereupon the police are informed and reluctantly arrest her. Kyle thanks Cartman, saying, "Wow! I think I owe you one, Cartman." The townspeople don't seem to mind, as she is an attractive female (believing that statutory rape is not a crime if the perpetrator is a beautiful woman), and as far as Ike is concerned, Kyle is dead to him. Stephenson, however, uses what Cartman calls "The Mel Gibson Defense" and claims to be an alcoholic. The townspeople, upon discovering this news, decide that she is a victim and thus free from any culpability. She quickly enters rehabilitation; when asked if she was sexually abused as a child she says that she was not, but that an uncle did make her and her twin sister kiss while he took photos. The therapist reacts to this with yet another "...Nice." After the short interview, she is released. She immediately takes Ike from the Broflovski house and makes plans to flee with him to Milan (which Ike thought was Mulan).

The Broflovskis quickly find out what has happened, and report it to the police. The police agree to "make a report," but they seem uninterested in actually apprehending Stephenson for doing it. Cartman, furious that Stephenson and Ike would get away (for making out in the hallway without a hall pass), assembles a team to help him catch them. Cartman's team consists of Leeroy (Dawg's assistant), Earl (Dawg's driver), and Beth (Dawg's Bitch (a Parody of Beth Smith, Dawg's wife)). Beth discovers that the two will not leave until the next day after checking onto their Travelocity account, and are staying at the Airport Hilton. After finding that out, Kyle joins up with Cartman's team in an attempt to save Ike (On Cartman's team, Kyle is indentified as "Jew"). The team quickly enters the hotel. Cartman does not have permission to be in the hotel, but he tries to solve that problem with bear mace and the police are called. Ike and Stephenson try to flee, but Cartman chases them while having several people maced, and all parties, including the police, wind up on the roof. Cornered, Stephenson threatens to jump. Kyle ends up telling Ike that he has to live a life and have fun, "...then ruin it by having a serious relationship." Stephenson jumps to her death, expecting Ike to follow, but Ike stops himself at the last moment and runs to hug Kyle. Cartman and his crew are then told to get off the roof by the police, to which he responds "That's cool. I'm done making my video anyways." He then picks up the camcorder (the camera angle shifts to a view looking at Cartman from inside the camcorder) and turns it off, thus ending the episode. In the end "The Dawg", finishes his video saying "I hope you've learned, kids, that if you don't go with Christ, you could end up just like that splattered bitch down on the pavement."

Cultural references

• Duane "Dog" Chapman reacted to this episode in his recent autobiography You Can Run But You Can't Hide: The Life and Times of Dog the Bounty Hunter, stating that (similar to, but not mentioning Rob Schneider and Geraldo Rivera) he was very pleased with it and commenting "You know you've really made it when they include you on their show."

External links

• Episode guide at Southparkstudios.com
• Script at Southparkstuff.com