Weddings in the United States and Canada

History

Virtually all scholars agree that we have witnessed a major transition in the meaning of marriage in the years from 1600 to 1995. In 1600, marriage for almost all Europeans in America was primarily an economic arrangement negotiated between families in which family considerations of status, future economic stability, and prosperity were the most important considerations in selecting a spouse. By 1995, most Americans defined the primary purpose of marriage to be a commitment of emotional and psychological support between two individuals.

Listed below are hisorical notations about some of the dramatic changes in the legal structure of marriage in the United States.

From the 5th to the 14th centuries, the Roman Catholic Church conducted special ceremonies to bless same-sex unions which were almost identical for those to bless heterosexual unions. At the very least, these were spiritual, if not sexual, unions.

In 1076, Pope Alexander II issued a decree prohibiting marriages between couples who were more closely related than 6th cousins.

Marriage was strictly a civil and not an ecclesiastical ceremony for the Puritans in Massachusetts Bay until 1686.

The Pilgrims outlawed courtship of a daughter or a female servant unless consent was first obtained from parents or master.

Until 1662, there was no penalty for interracial marriages in any of the British colonies in North America. In 1662, Virginia doubled the fine for fornication between interracial couples. In 1664, Maryland became the first colony to ban interracial marriages. By 1750, all southern colonies, plus Massachusetts and Pennsylvania outlawed interracial marriages.

In the 19th century, under English common law, and in all American colonies and states, married women had no legal standing. They could not own property, sign contracts, or legally control any wages they might earn.

In 1848, New York became the first state to pass a Married Woman's Property Act, guaranteeing the right of married women to own property.

Throughout most of the 19th century, the minimum age of consent for sexual intercourse in most American states was 10 years. In Delaware it was only 7 years old.

As late as 1930, twelve states allowed boys as young as 14 and girls as young as 12 to marry (with parental consent).

As late as 1940, married women were not allowed to make a legal contract in twelve states.

In 1967, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down state anti-miscegenation laws in Loving v. Virginia. As a result of the decision, Virginia and fifteen other states had their anti-miscegenation laws declared unconstitutional. Those states were: Alabama, Arkansas, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, and West Virginia.

In the fifteen years prior to the decision, fourteen states had repealed their anti-miscegenation laws. Those fourteen states were: Arizona, California, Colorado, Idaho, Indiana, Maryland, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, North Dakota, Oregon, South Dakota, Utah, and Wyoming.

In 1978, New York became the first state to outlaw rape in marriage. By 1990, only a total of ten states outlawed rape in marriage. In thirty-six states rape in marriage was a crime only in certain circumstances. In four states, rape in marriage was never a crime.

These examples, and there are more, clearly document that marriage has not been an unchanging institution with unchanging definitions of who can marry and under what circumstances. Those who claim otherwise distort the historical record.

Cultural Traditions

"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpense inside your shoe." The "old" is supposed to represent the people attending the wedding. The "new" represents the couple getting married. "Something borrowed" is something that is taken from the families and meant to be returned. "Something blue" represents the bride's virginity. The silver sixpense is meant to be tucked into the bride's shoe and is supposed to bring the new couple wealth in money and love in their new life together.

White bridal dresses.

Throwing rice.

Sharing the first piece of wedding cake.

Ceremonial kiss.

Having a best man and bridal party.

Bridal showers.

Bachelor party.

"Giving away" the bride.

Bouquet toss to the single women at the wedding. The bouquet is supposed to be good luck to the woman who catches is because it predicts that she will be the next one to get married.

Throwing the garter to the single men at the wedding.

Honeymoon.

Carrying the bride across the threshold.

The bride wears a veil.

American Traditions

The variety of cultures that exist in the United States make weddings traditions in this country influenced by virtually all other countries and cultures. Therefore, weddings in the United States are the most varied and flexible in the world.

In the United States, it is common for the couple who is getting married to write their own wedding vows. This shows that they are both committed and have unique and special feelings towards each other.

It is also customary for the newlyweds to receive gifts at their wedding. This allows the couple to start a new life of their own with help from their friends and family.

Religious Traditions

Placing the wedding ring on the third finger of the left hand.

Types of Weddings

Traditional/Formal

Traditional, formal, religious weddings are the most common type of wedding in the United States. Many couples opt to marry in the church of their faith, as it is common for couples to share the same religion. Whether the couple is Catholic, Jewish, Hindu, or any other religion, it is common practice to get married in the church of that faith. However, many couples today do not share the same faith. These inter-faith couples can also have a traditional wedding ceremony . Religious officials have become increasingly cooperative with marrying couples that are not of the same faith.

It is common for traditional or formal weddings to follow certain norms. These common practices include designer dresses, groomsmen wearing tuxedos, elaborate invitations, beautiful flowers, limousine service, and fine dining and live music at a reception that follows the ceremony .

Destination

Destination weddings are becoming increasingly popular in the United States. Destination weddings, or "wedding aways" and "weddingmoons", allow the couple to completely design their wedding ceremony to fit the location. From beach weddings to weddings in Las Vegas or New York City, many Americans are choosing to marry at a location far from home. The options for destinations are limitless .

Examples of creative locations for wedding include nature parks, aquariums, baseball stadiums, golf courses, zoos, and theme parks. Receptions can also be held at creative, nontraditional locations such as on a boat, in a mansion or castle, historical monument, winery, or museum .

Destination weddings have several advantages. From getting to spend an extended time with family, to an easy transition to a honeymoon, destination weddings are very appealing. Additionally, while destination weddings can be very expensive, they are on average less expensive than weddings at home .

Military

A couple whose groom is enlisted in the Armed Forces, may have a military wedding in which the groom wears his uniform. A military wedding is considered a formal wedding and guests should dress appropriately. Oftentimes, the groom's guests will also be in the armed forces and will wear their uniforms as well.

The ushers who are in the armed forces traditionally form an "arch of steel" with their swords or sabers. However, only active duty servicemen participate, as they can only carry their sword or saber if they are active duty. The arch is usually formed at the conclusion of the ceremony, and the head usher signals the formation by yelling "center face." After the bride and groom pass through the arch, the ushers return to their bridesmaids to exit with them. Civilian ushers may or may not stand at the arch, a decision usually made by the bride and groom .

Elopement

Couples in the United States choose to elope for many varying reasons. 46% of couples eloping due so because of parental opposition to the marriage, 20% of couples elope to avoid attention, 12% of couples eloping due so because of financial reasons, 8% of elopements are due to an unexpected pregnancy, and 14% of couples choose to elope for other reasons .