Loner

For other uses, see Loner (disambiguation).

A loner is a person who avoids or does not actively seek human interaction or prefers to be alone. There are many reasons for solitude, intentional or otherwise, and "loner" implies no specific cause. Intentional reasons include religious or personal philosophies, unintentional reasons involve being highly sensitive, having more extreme forms of shyness and introversion, or various mental illnesses. The modern term "loner" is usually used with a negative connotation in the belief that human beings are social creatures and those that do not participate are deviant.

In popular culture, however, there is a certain romanticism in the idea of the loner since he or she is seen as special and unique. This can be attributed to the notion that truly great people often lurk in the shadows of societies that espouse corrupt or superficial standards of existence. As a result, the concept of a lonely hero is a recurring theme in stories.

Possible reasons

Some individuals refuse or feel unable to interact with others because of perceived or actual superiority in terms of ethics or intellect. They relate only to individuals they consider worthy of their time and attention. Therefore, this type of loner will have very few intimate relationships. Many non-loners feel anxious in their presence because they perceive the loner's disdain towards them.

Loners may socialize greatly with those in whom they can confide. It can take a long time for this bond to occur. If someone unknown to a loner enters the social group, the loner may automatically shell up. Shy or lacking self-esteem, some loners can socialize only with people they see constantly. This is in part because many are overly self-conscious and believe people are constantly sizing up their attributes. Insecure loners find it excruciating to be in the physical presence of others because they worry they will be judged negatively. Anxiety is a common feature of their social interactions. Self-hatred is sometimes the underlying motivation for why a person may isolate himself or herself. A sense of alienation from society can develop as a result.

Possible characteristics

While expressing a desire to be alone, loners do not necessarily reject human contact entirely. An example would be the person who shuns any social interaction with work colleagues beyond what is necessary for fulfilling his or her job description (mainly for practical reasons and to avoid further complicating one’s professional relationships) but who is highly charismatic during parties or social gatherings with people outside work or school, or vice-versa.

Most loners are able to act "normally" in a social setting. However, the strain of being in a situation which is uncomfortable may leave some mentally and emotionally exhausted. They may have to retreat for a significant amount of time before being able to do so again.

The typical loner exhibits more of the personality trait known as introversion than the average person. They are drawn to solitary activities to the detriment of social ones. This may be due to both innate personality traits as well as life experiences.

See also

• Avoidant personality disorder
• Byronic hero
• Depression
• Hermit
• Introversion
• Loneliness
• Social rejection
• Hikikomori
• Misanthropy
• Outsider
• Recluse
• Schizoid personality disorder
• Social phobia
• Solitude
• Tragic Hero
• Lone wolf (trait)

External links

• Article about loners in Psychology Today
• The online community for loners from all over the world.