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''This is a mock article I created for comical purposes.'' |
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'''Sherwin H. Lee''', also known as '''Li Xu-Kang''' or '''Li Zhong-Yong''', (born ''ca.'' [[4000 BCE]] in present-day [[Mongolia]]) is the current head of the [[Istari]] of the fifth age and third dimension. He is the third reincarnation of [[Gandalf]] from the tenth [[wizard]] dimension. As an [[America|American]] citizen in the current era, he is an active [[trombonist]], [[pianist]], multi-linguist, [[liberal conservative]], [[anti-abortion]] activist, [[same-sex marriage]] opponent, [[comedian]], possible multi-generation [[ancestor]], [[wizard]] (which duties he has yet to resume), class clown, [[tuba|tubaist]], [[China|Chinese]]-rights activist, [[mango]] [[farmer]], [[beard]] activist, [[painter]], [[sculptor]], and [[martial arts|martial artist]]. While his contributions over the past six [[millennium|millennia]] are relatively unknown, Li has greatly influenced Western culture with his numerous social welfare projects. One of the most well known of these is the [[Great Wall of China]], which the Eastern half he single-handedly built. Li also invented key concepts like [[realism]], [[idealism]], [[Sherwinism]], and [[Asianism]]. |
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==Previous Life== |
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{{main|Gandalf}} |
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Li was reincarnated as a second-order head of the [[Istari]] following his former life as [[Gandalf]] in [[Middle-earth]]. While it is often speculated that he was actually a chief Uruk-hai general for the wizard [[Saruman]], that theory has been dismissed due to key characteristics of Gandalf that he retains in his current life. |
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==Early Age== |
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Little is known about Li's early age as births were not documented this early in civilization. However, it is widely accepted that he was reincarnated somewhere in present-day Central [[Mongolia]]. Many theories suggest that Li influenced the start of the [[Bronze Age]] as well as the predecessor to [[cuneiform]] script. While Li was not famous at the time, he traveled across Eurasia to start a [[mango]] farm south of the [[Himalayas]]. |
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Following the new millennium of [[3000 BCE]], Li traveled on foot to the [[Middle East]] to immerse himself in prehistoric studies. While it is not widely known what the term 'prehistoric' truly refers to, it is generally accepted that Li may have been doing [[paleontology]] work. After spending about five hundred years on the [[Arabic Peninsula]], he moved to [[History of ancient Egypt|ancient Egypt]] where he boldly predicted the future construction of a great canal. Ultimately, this prediction became true with the building of the [[Suez Canal]] in the late 1800s. Unfortunately, none of the pharaohs that had heard this prediction lived to see the canal. |
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After fifty more years of residing on the African continent, Li headed back to Eastern Asia where he assumed an ethnic identity as a Chinese citizen. He became deeply rooted in the government of the [[Qin Dynasty]] and quickly befriended [[Qin Shi Huang]]. Following Qin's death, Li migrated south to the present-day province of [[Guangdong]] where he spent a number of years studying the Cantonese dialect. |
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==Middle Era== |
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Very little is known about Li's time between his early age and current era. Sometime following the age of [[Jesus Christ]], Li disappeared for unknown purposes. The most common theory about his sudden disappearance is that he returned to Middle-earth to defend Gondor in the [[Battle of the Pelennor Fields]]. Some have argued that the short length of the battle did not correspond with his thousand years disappearance. However, this theory has been contested by the belief that there is a difference between the time continuums of the current and tenth dimensions. Thus, this would have explained the length of Li's disappearance. |
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Some time in the early 1800s, Li reemerged in the Himalayas. According to recent documents, it is stated that he had not known that his disappearance had lasted over a thousand years. This reaction would have enforced the theory that he returned to Middle-earth. However, he has neither denied nor confirmed this. Li's literal reaction upon his reemergence was of surprise, reportedly saying: "How could killing 967 orcs have taken over a thousand years?" |
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In the late 1800s, Li decided to move to the United States where he sought gold and profit. While his English was limited, he was able to prosper in [[San Francisco]] by opening a grocery market. In 1890, Li moved to Seattle following the [[Great Seattle Fire]]. Despite being discriminated against, he opened a small book store east of what is now the [[International District]]. |
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==Current Era== |
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Li Xu-Kang's current era (which can be argued as starting from the late 19th century) has been marked with astounding feats, including the single-handed demolition of the [[Berlin Wall]], as well as the building of the [[atom bombs]]. In 1962, Li received his driver's license for the [[Washington State|State of Washington]] following intense debate concerning his ability to fly and [[teleportation|teleport]]. However, his license was revoked in 1982 after he crashed head-on into an oncoming police unit. Though no one was hurt, Li was sentenced to four hundred hours of community service. He later said that his shock had caused the crash, after learning of the [[Great Wizard Massacre]]. |
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Li was not very active in American society through the late [[1980s|80s]] and [[1990s|90s]]. He spent most of those years meditating and pacing in the [[Qinling Mountains]] of central [[China]]. However, Li was active in the [[Tiananmen Square Protests]] in 1989. One of his most compelling moves during the massacre was his attempt to stop a line of tanks from entering the square. While this is not confirmed, Li has often hinted that he is the real [[Unknown rebel]]. Shortly after the massacre, he retreated back to the mountains in deep grief. Following the new millennium in [[2000]], Li returned to the United States through illegal means. In 2002, he returned to Seattle for a new concealment project. |
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Currently, Li is disguised as a student under his English name of 'Sherwin Lee'. He now attends [[Newport High School]] in [[Bellevue, WA]]. Li is most accomplished in Newport's band program but has declined to partake in any school sports. He argues that his age has rendered him unable to participate in athletic activity. For the most part, Li has kept quiet about his true identity. However, he has revealed his true age of six-thousand and his identity as a wizard to fellow band students. While most have taken this as a joke, Li has been serious about keeping his true identity secret. |
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==Wizard Life== |
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===Special Abilities=== |
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Li has been reported to demonstrate remarkable abilities beyond natural physical capability. While some claim to have seen him demonstrate these abilities, Li has stated that he has never shown anyone his powers in public. One of his most astounding abilities is his power to exercise [[telekinesis]]. Li has said that this is his "most gifted ability" and considers it his most useful. He claims that he has never used this power or any of his powers for evil intents. Li is also gifted with the art of teleportation and human flight. This has been cause of debate due to his registration for a driver's license in the 1960s. Other than these three special abilities, Lee is also an accomplished martial artist, skilled in jujutsu, judo, karate, tai-chi, Taekwondo, fencing, sword-fighting, and boxing. |