User talk:Zanna115/sandbox: Difference between revisions
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I really like your additions to this article! It fleshes out detail where necessary and make it, on whole, much more complete. The tone is clear and it reads like an encyclopedia entry. The two main suggestions I would give would be to break up the giant paragraph under Early Life and Childhood, and to reorganize some of the information at the end; it seems like the last section runs a bit long. |
I really like your additions to this article! It fleshes out detail where necessary and make it, on whole, much more complete. The tone is clear and it reads like an encyclopedia entry. The two main suggestions I would give would be to break up the giant paragraph under Early Life and Childhood, and to reorganize some of the information at the end; it seems like the last section runs a bit long. Maybe a section called Achievements could be helpful. |
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Revision as of 03:20, 27 March 2018
Peer Review:
I really like your additions to this article! It fleshes out detail where necessary and make it, on whole, much more complete. The tone is clear and it reads like an encyclopedia entry. The two main suggestions I would give would be to break up the giant paragraph under Early Life and Childhood, and to reorganize some of the information at the end; it seems like the last section runs a bit long. Maybe a section called Achievements could be helpful.
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