Talk:The MDNA Tour/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 23:07, 10 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! I'll be taking a look at this article for the January 2022 GAN backlog drive. If you haven't already signed up, please feel free to join in! Although QPQ is not required, if you're feeling generous, I also have a list of GA nominations of my own right here.

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

Background

"On October 2011" → "In October 2011" or add the exact date Done
"the Madonna fansite DrownedMadonna"

It's redundant to say it's a Madonna fansite when the title clearly says it

You do need to introduce the name of the artist with an appropriate link, though.

Done

"confirmed fake" → "confirmed to be fabricated" Done
No comma after "along with her choreographers" Done
"30%" → "30 percent" per MOS:PERCENT Done

Development

Conception and rehearsals

This time was referred to by Fogel "This time" reads as vague Done
Similarly, "it" in it would be divided into four different thematic acts – the whole tour, with different legs showing each of these themes, or would all four be present in each individual performance?

The concert was divided into four thematic acts.

"Slackliner Andy Lewis was asked by Madonna" → "Madonna asked Slackliner Andy Lewis" for active voice Done
"the official one" → "the official list" Done
Comma after "Córdoba, Argentina" per MOS:GEOCOMMA Done

Stage and costume design

Don't love the use of "innovative" in quotes per MOS:QUOTEPOV Done
Use the conversion template for the various measurements in this section like "8ft"
"could still be able" → "would still be able" Done
"eight costumes changes" → "eight costume changes" Done

Multimedia and video

Not sure why years are in parentheses after only some of the songs, and they shouldn't be used anyway, since it describes her performing them live, not the recording Done
Missing quotation mark in "Gang Bang" Done
"vice" in "vice presidential" should be lowercase Done
Unclear how the one visual is a "deliberate shot" at Lady Gaga Done

Concert synopsis

Jumbled present/past tense throughout section Done
"cabaret" should be lowercase Done

Critical reception

Middle East and Europe

"On his review of opening night" → "In his review of the opening night performance" Done
Comma after "praised the "visually dazzling" concert" Done
You only need to include surnames after the name is first introduced Done
Watch for MOS:DUPLINKs in this section, particularly for song titles that were linked above Done

America

What is "it" in "deemed it ambitious", the whole tour or the individual performance? Done
"also calling out" → "also critiquing" Done

Commercial reception

More precise measurement for "right after" – same night? Within hours? Minutes? After her Super Bowl performance or after the whole event?

That's how the source mentions it: Madonna's going on the road, and those tickets will go on sale right after the Super Bowl I have modified it; let me know if that works

"with some premium packages cost" → "while some premium packages cost" OR "with some premium packages costing" Done
"A.M."→ "a.m." per MOS:TIME, and include a time zone

What do you mean time zone?

Since Abu Dhabi is in UTC +04:00, after "7 a.m.", you should write "(GST)"

Done

I think Yankee Stadium should be linked upon its first mention in the reception, not down here Done

Controversies

Political

Per MOS:DASH, en dashes are used with spaces on either side, em dashes have no spaces; either is acceptable, as long as they are used consistently

They're only used on ask Madame Madonna — and everyone who organized her international show —, because that is how the source quotes it; let me know if I need to change it.

Muslim should be capitalized; if the quote had it lowercase, then "[sic]" should be added Done
"On Louisiana," → "In Louisiana", and delink the state name per MOS:OVERLINK Done
"shot by members of the Taliban" Done

Fire arms and nudity

"firearms" is generally one word Done
"that kept her" → "that prevented her" Done
"if she did" what, exactly? (I know the answer is use simulated weaponry, but the sentence construction is unclear) Done
"didn't" → "did not" per MOS:N'T Done
"commented about the controversy" → "commented on the controversy" Done

Paris' Olympia concert

"Paris'" → "Paris's" throughout, per MOS:'S Done
"July 18 and, three days later," → "July 18, and three days later" Done
Replace dashes with commas around many of whom had allegedly paid more than €280 or had slept on the street overnight to be able to purchase tickets Done
"that it only" → "that the set only" Done
"had more than" → "had received more than" Done

Pussy Riot and LGBT rights in Russia

"were found guilty" please list the specific charges Done
"Russian Government" → "Russian government" Done

Broadcasts and recording

"random people" is part of Eichner's schtick, but not very encyclopedic terminology Done
"United States' relations" → "United States's relations" per MOS:'S Done
"talkshow" → "talk show" Done
"got to meet" → "had the opportunity to meet" Done
En dash instead of hyphen in "November 19-20" Done
Comma after "September 10, 2013" per MOS:DATECOMMA Done

Set list

Add period after the sentence explaining from where the adaptation was derived and after all of the notes, as they are all full sentences Done

Shows

Good

Cancelled dates

Good

Notes

This should be a level three subhead falling under the greater umbrella of the "shows" header, as all of the notes relate to that section of the article, if that makes sense Done

Personnel

Just as above, add period after "Adapted from The MDNA Tour program" Done

References

No obvious formatting problems
"Unreliable" sources like the New York Post are used for basic factual information, not controversial political reporting

General comments

Images look good, are properly licensed and relevant
No stability concerns in the revision history
Copyvio score is artificially inflated by proper nouns and direct quotes, but the article passes the eye test

I am experiencing some migraines and will continue to chip away at this, but I cannot look at screens for extended periods of time. — Ghost River 18:12, 24 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

That sucks :/ I suffer from benign paroxysmal positional vertigo so I'm also prone to migraines. Hope you feel better and look forward to the rest of your comments.--Christian (talk) 18:31, 24 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your patience. I had a good head day and was able to finish my comments. Putting on hold for now. — Ghost River 17:14, 28 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @GhostRiver:! I have corrected all the points you wrote down; let me know if that's OK. Hope you're feeling better! --Christian (talk) 19:48, 28 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

All of my comments have been sufficiently addressed, happy to pass. Excellent work on such a long article! — Ghost River 16:57, 29 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]