Talk:HMS Glenmore (1796)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Ykraps (talk · contribs) 10:20, 1 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 13:42, 2 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a look at this shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:42, 2 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. I look forward to hearing your comments. --Ykraps (talk) 16:51, 3 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Pickersgill-Cunliffe: are you coming back to this? --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 17 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, just a busy time at work right now. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 18:47, 17 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prelim

No duplicated links
Image correctly licensed
Article is stable
Earwig reports copyvio unlikely

Lede and infobox

Suggest adding the number of guns in the first line of the lede, e.g. "36-gun Amazon-class frigate"
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Link 18-pounder long gun in lede and infobox
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
You switch between using "pounder" and "pdr", suggest only using one version for consistency throughout the article
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:32, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Suggest "Amiable drove off"
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Link truss
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Considering the size of the article I think that the lede is a tad long. The final paragraph on the mutiny could be shortened to provide slightly less detail on, for example, the exact disciplined meted out
I've trimmed a bit but I'm keen to keep it a full summary of the article. --Ykraps (talk) 19:01, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Probably worth mentioning the French Revolutionary Wars early in the lede just to make it very obvious what we're relating the Peace of Amiens to
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:37, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I believe it's normal to link the "in" in "in ordinary" as well (phew, that's a lot of ins!)
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:37, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The date of order is only mentioned in the lede, not in main text
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:37, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Ibid John Tovey, launch date
Added launch date to main body. John Tovey? --Ykraps (talk) 19:19, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

You have John Tovey as the master shipwright in the infobox but he isn't mentioned in main text. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 20:40, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks. Added. --Ykraps (talk) 05:08, 21 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Give the exact date of sale in the lede, as you do have it
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:01, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Remove trailing zeros in measurements, e.g. 143 ft 0 in (43.6 m) becomes 143 ft (43.6 m)
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:12, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Add spaces after the colons in the infobox
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:01, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Link keel and gundeck in infobox
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:12, 20 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @Pickersgill-Cunliffe:, Do you have anything else to add? --Ykraps (talk) 07:53, 23 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Design and construction

"was 36-gun sailing frigate" missing word here
Added.--Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Link frigate on first mention
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"One of four Amazon-class ships..." Very abrupt sentence. Perhaps "She was one..."?
Rewritten. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Move 18-pounder long gun link to first mention and link 12-pounder long gun
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Link Naiad
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"had a complement of 284 men" As Glenmore's complement isn't mentioned in main text it makes it difficult to understand the context/comparison for this stat
Added.--Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"Work began in March" the last date in text was for her launch in March 1796, suggest moving this paragraph to before that point in the narrative
Moved launch date to after instead. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Expand out the "pdr"s in the last paragraph
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Career

"seargent" sp
I prefer to think of it as typo. ;) Changed. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"for further instructions" from who?
The leaders of the mutiny. Added. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
A word or two on the reasoning for the mutiny/terms agreed upon would be useful context
"August 1798" repeated year
Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Try not to begin paragraphs with dates to avoid it reading like a timeline/diary
Give Aimable's ship type as you usually do
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Link French Guyana
"Sirène Citoyen Reignaud, captain" Awkward phrasing
Rewritten. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Link trusses
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"later in the year" needs a capital
"Captain Duff" repeated rank
Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 17:31, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Link John Talbot
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:21, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
When does the second mutiny happen? You say "early in May" but date the first action to 5 June
Things came to a head in June. The oath would have been sworn sometime in May, and the petition to Lord Gardner, signed on 2 May, contained the phrase "...for we can never think of going to sea under the command of Captain Talbot again". Both these actions would likely be held as mutinous. I have rewritten to remove confusion. --Ykraps (talk) 17:30, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Link boatswain's
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:21, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"The punishments were then carried out" Do we know what they were?
The floggings referred to in the previous sentence. --Ykraps (talk) 17:21, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"15 May 1801" Repeated year
Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"Lloyd's List (LL)" don't need the acronym, isn't used elsewhere
Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"They and Urania all arrived at Cork" Any dates for this or the previous captures?
"June 1801" Repeated year
Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"set light" Suggest the more obvious "set on fire"
Changed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"June 1802" repeated year
Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"July 1802" ibid
Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Choose whether to prefix British ships with HMS, but try not to mix between the two styles
Fixed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Italicise Glenmore in the fate section - as this is so short suggest adding it the end of career rather than splitting it into its own section
Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Article is long enough that it would benefit from some more images. Difficult to find relevant ship images, so what about some variation of File:Admiral John Maitland (1771–1836).jpg, File:Captain George Duff (1764–1805).jpg, File:Robert Seppings (1767-1840), by William Bradley.jpg, and/or File:Vice-Admiral Lord Alan Gardner (1742-1809), by William Beechey.jpg?

References

References look good. AGF for print sources

@Ykraps: Hi, I got there...eventually! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 21:27, 30 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]