User:Jmeriot

Jme Riot was born in the year 2720 B.C. The specific date is often disputed amongst upstanding historians, in many cases to the point of fisticuffs. However, the common theory is that the his birth occured on either January -1, or December 32. This stems from a recent archeological dig that unearthed a set of stone tablets etched with what translates to a rough estimation "He hath born unto the Earth upon the exact crest of our millenia at the infinite hour." Carbon dating ages the stones themselves at 1976 A.D., however the etchings on the stones mysteriously date back to 2720 B.C. and are in what appears to be the first written script.
The location of his birth isn't important, and again is disputed to disastrous measure. What is important is that at the age of 17, Jme developed his 1,000,000th muscle. And at 13, while on vacation in New York City, he earned his 1,000,000th brane point while battling a pigeon for a pizza crust in front of Original Famous Ray's. Jme won the crust, after a near loss to the pigeon when he unsheathed his switchblade. The blade was not returned until the Hudson River flowed with the blood of 99 pigeons. This however was an often overlooked aspect of his life, forgotten in the shadow of his 14th birthday.
On that day (the date of which is disputed) he earned the record breaking 2,000,000 brane point, again in New York City. Footage of his mighty battle with the legendary 6-headed dragons is regarded as both the best cinematography ever recorded, as well as single most important film regarding human history. The battle was long, but the defeat came swiftly as he performed a backflip off of the top of the Empire State Building, weidling a saber in each hand. He landed with each saber directly peircing the heart of each dragon, and they were felled simultaniously. This is important because simultanious activity became a mainstay with Jme from then on, specifically in the bedroom.
The only copy of this footage has been locked in a box by the United States FBI, which was then placed into a steel case that has been welded shut by the United States Army, which was then placed in a glass case with 1 million lasers pointing at it by the CIA, and stored in an underground bunker. The entire bunker was then lifted and moved by Hercules and placed on the Moon. It is currently under 24 hour surveilance by Zeus, and Batman, in alternating shifts. It is said that if any person were to watch the film they would instantly die of simultanious lust and envy.
During a 5 year period in which he lived in various parts of Asia, Jme earned the highest level of Ninja ever to be recieved - 15th level. Levels 12-15 had to be invented specifically for him, with 12 and 13, as well as 14 and 15, being invented simultaniously He has also earned and held since, the title belt for Super World Ultimate Title Championship Mega Premium Elite Wrestler Supernova. This was earned by simultanious victory over every single professional wrestler that ever existed. During his many years as The Pirate King - King of All Sea Pirates, Jme was reported to having killed over 1,000 dinosaurs by hand. His hobbys include jogging, and performing as a world-famous clown on weekends.