Sam Flagg

Colonel Samuel Flagg is a fictional character on the television series M*A*S*H, played by actor Edward Winter.

Character history

Col. Flagg is a U.S. Military Intelligence agent {agency unknown}. His behavior is rather paranoid and irrational, and he appears to the staff of the 4077th to be mentally unstable; the fact that he deliberately seriously injures himself to advance an investigation seemed proof of that. At one point he tried to get into Counter Intelligence Corps headquarters by crashing his jeep into a brick wall and setting himself on fire. Another time, to get into the 4077th, he ordered a helicopter pilot to crash and then twice broke his own arm. He claimed that he was either with the CIA, the CIC, or the CID, depending on who he was dealing with. Majors Frank Burns and Margaret Houlihan, strong anti-Communists and super-patriots, followed his assignments with great interest, but were unable to "buddy up" to him as they'd hoped.

His paranoia was so fanatical that Flagg even accused Major Burns of being a communist agent on the grounds that Burns had seen a performance of the Bolshoi Ballet in Tokyo and was reading Reader's Digest, which Flagg noted would be "Red's Digest" if the 3rd, 5th, and 6th letters were eliminated.

Flagg used multiple aliases, including "Captain Goldberg" (a Jewish chaplain with horn-rimmed glasses) and others. (One of his code names was "Queen Victoria".) At the conclusion of his second appearance, a rival intelligence officer asked, "Buy you a cup of coffee, Sam?", revealing his (probable) first name. However, his disguises were so obvious that people generally saw through them immediately. Once, he showed up as an Italian officer ("The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan") and Radar O'Reilly casually greeted him by name. When pressed, Radar's hasty explanation was that since Flagg looked nothing like himself, it had to be him, as only Flagg had that skill.

Flagg used his position to intimidate the first 4077th commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake. When Colonel Potter took Blake's place, Potter made a point of standing up to Flagg, telling him coldly, "I'm not fond of personal abuse." Army psychiatrist Major Sidney Freedman also refused to cave in to Flagg's intimidation, "I'd like to help you, but with your schizophrenia, I'd have to charge you double rates." Freedman, Hawkeye Pierce, Trapper John McIntyre, and later B.J. Hunnicutt were high on Flagg's list of suspects (as "unpatriotic" Communist sympathizers or subversives), but always outwitted him, if Flagg wasn't busy outwitting (or harming) himself.

Flagg's "trademark" was to assure that no one saw him leave when he finished a job. ("I have no home, I am the wind.") Keeping up that image backfired at least once when he ordered all of the others in the room to close their eyes as he exited via a leap through the window in Col. Potter's office. (When the others opened their eyes after hearing a yelp of pain, Hawkeye investigated and dryly noted, "It looks like the wind just broke his leg.")

Flagg made a serious mistake when he tried to manipulate Major Winchester into spying on Hawkeye when he put the welfare of a communist soldier over the other patients, which led to Flagg thinking Hawkeye was a Communist Sympathizer. Winchester, who was of better character than Flagg suspected, instead duped him into thinking a camp bridge game (which included the mayor of Uijongbu and his brother, the city's chief of police, as guest players), was a meeting of conspirators, which Flagg then attempted to raid. Even though they found out that Major Winchester set the whole thing up, the two angry Korean officials vowed to use their U.S. military contacts to ensure that Flagg would be punished, and since Flagg was never seen again in the series, they apparently succeeded.

Flagg did appear several years after the war in a visit to General Pershing Veteran's Hospital (on the short-lived spinoff AfterMASH), indicating that he at least remained in the military.

Rank

During Flagg's visits (to MASH 4077), in the first three seasons (1972-75), he held the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. Afterwards, for the rest of the series (1975-83), he held the rank of Colonel. His rank was the same with each MASH 4077 commanding officer: Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake, and later Colonel Sherman Potter. In Edward Winter's first appearance on M*A*S*H, he appears as a Captain named Halloran; this appears to be Flagg under an alias (Flagg greets Sidney Freedman with the statement "We played poker once" in the 4th season episode Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler?).

Service

In one episode Flagg remarks he has been in Intelligence for twenty years.

He was a showgirl at the Sands Hotel in Las Vegas for six weeks.

Quotes

"Nobody can get the truth out of me because even I don't know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion."

"I was a show girl for six weeks."

"After tonight, every kid in America will wish he was me!"

"I've trained myself not to laugh or smile. I watched a hundred hours of the Three Stooges; every time I felt like smiling or laughing, I jabbed myself in the stomach with a cattle prod."

"Let's talk about your camp, colonel. And don't play dumb, you're not as good at it as I am!"

(When an MP says that Colonel Flagg made "a little mistake")
"I don't make little mistakes!"

(When Father Mulcahy says that he'll leave to let Colonel Flagg talk to Colonel Potter)
"Freeze, Mr. Vatican! Nobody moves until I do, and I never do!"

(When Frank Burns tried to buddy up to Flagg by slapping him on the shoulder)
"My father touched me like that once. To this day, he still has to wear orthopedic shirts."

(confronting Sidney Freedman)
"You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me."

(After Hawkeye treated a wounded North Korean soldier prior to operating on an American one)
"You took a yellow Red before a White American, and that's pretty pinko!"

(To Radar)
"Shut up, you, or I'll use you to clean a cannon!"

(After Hawkeye jokingly suggests using nuclear weapons in a search for the missing Major Houlihan)
"Don't try to make friends with me."

(After Frank says, "You’re crazy, buddy!")
"You call me that again, friend, I’ll reach into your throat and pull your heart out."

(Holding up his index finger to Major Winchester)
"Do you believe I can break your leg with this finger?"
(Winchester replied after a moment, "Strangely enough, I do." Flagg then replies "Smart boy".)

(After Frank shows delight in Flagg's plan.')
"You interrupt me one more time, I'll drop a grenade down your shorts."

(After Frank starts to tell Flagg his orders by saying, "But my orders are...")
(Flagg stated, "The C.I.A. can supersede anyone's orders.")
(Frank responded, "Except the president, of course.")
(And Flagg replied, "Give us time!")

Characteristics & appearances

• Flagg scared Blake when Flagg told how Blake could be killed by booby traps if Blake did not cooperate with Flagg. Flagg threatened Major Winchester by cutting off Winchester's money. Flagg also scared Major Burns and Radar O'Reilly.
• On one occasion, however, even Radar stood up to Flagg, who had unaccountably wandered into post-op, where he decided to get what he wanted by pinching an I.V. tube leading medication into a wounded North Korean solider's arm. Radar was aghast and croaked, "I don't care who you are--you can't do that!" Winchester approached, gestured in approval of Radar's reaction, and sarcasticly suggested Flagg try some other trick-such as thumbscrews.
• In last episode he appeared in, Flagg wore a U.S. Army Finance Department insignia on his collar.
• Actor Edward Winter had previously appeared in the M*A*S*H episode "Deal Me Out", as counterintelligence officer Captain Halloran. This character can be assumed to be Flagg under an alias, based on Flagg's greeting to Sidney Freedman in the 4th season episode Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler? where he says "We played poker once."
• After M*A*S*H, in the premiere of the science fiction TV series Misfits of Science, in a character switch, Edward Winter played an aide-de-camp who is killed trying to stop an insane general, who was played by Larry Linville.