Hermes Conrad

Hermes Conrad is a character in the Futurama animated series. He is voiced by Phil LaMarr. Template:Spoiler He is a grade 36 (and later 37) bureaucrat from Jamaica (and not, as Fry thought for a while, "some kind of outer space potato man"). He manages Planet Express delivery business, and his responsibilities include paying bills, giving out legal waivers, and notifying next of kin. In direct contrast to most stereotypes of Jamaicans, he is an uptight workaholic. This was noticed already when he was 4, when a hurricane hit Kingston, leaving Hermes in despair, for it threw his alphabet blocks out of order. Hermes frequently admonishes the staff for not working hard enough. He strongly dislikes Doctor Zoidberg and his favorite food appears to be manwiches, assumed from dramatically crying whenever someone takes a Manwich from him..

He used to be on Earth's Olympic limbo team. He competed at the 2980 Olympic Games where a little boy ran onto the field. The boy wanted to be "just like Hermes," but broke his back while attempting to limbo and is now "limboing up in heaven". Hermes has a son named Dwight and a wife named LaBarbara. His nemesis and rival in limbo is Barbados Slim, to whom his wife was once married. When surprised, he usually utters a "Sweet something of someplace" exclamation. Examples include "Sweet lion of Zion!", "Sweet cow of Moscow!", "Sweet gorilla of Manila!" and "Sweet penis of Paris!". Other exclamations are "Haile H. Selassie" and "Sweet Bob Marley's ghost" which indicate that he's a Rastafarian. He also tends to make analogies to current situations involving Green S s and Sugar Cane.

In the episode How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back he suffered a breakdown, and was sent on paid vacation (considered the "ultimate penalty" in his profession). However, the spa appeared to be a forced labour camp. Hermes manages to reorganize the labor camp for efficiency, which cures him.