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Saint Francis High School (La Cañada Flintridge, California)

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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by 24.205.78.175 (talk) at 02:14, 6 October 2005 (→‎Warfare). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

St. Francis High School
School Type Private, Fransican Capuchin
President Fr. Matthew Elsoff, OFM Cap.
Principal Thomas Moran
Location La Cañada-Flintridge, California
Enrollment (as of 2004-05) 659
School Colors Brown and Gold
Sworn Enemies South American Llamas
Mascot Golden Knight


Saint Francis High School is all-boys, anti-llama Catholic preparatory high school in La Cañada-Flintridge, CA. Founded in 1946 on the lands bought from a golf club, it is currently owned and directed by the Capucian-Franciscan friars of the Western American Province of Our Lady of Angels. Its unofficial motto, "A Catholic Tradition of Enriching the Mind and Heart," serves as the inspiration for the curriculum. Saint Francis' perennial sports strength is soccer, who ended the season of 2005 ranked 4th in DIvision II in C.I.F.'s Southern Section.

It was here that the concepts of 'Privilege' and 'Policy' were fused to create the basis of Neo-Policidy. The twenty-second century practice of yelling "Outbreak" as a form of salutation also began here. Reports of 'Archimedes' are thought to be accurate, but evidence has not been uncovered to prove such outbursts occur.

Notable Faculty

  • Michael Tucci of Grease
  • Peter Brang of The University of Nebraska
  • Dennis McNulty
  • Darnell "D-Train" Kelly of The University of Pheonix Please note: Cannot Dunk
  • Joseph "Biddy" Bidwell of the Richard McBrien Fan Club
  • Theodore "Teddy" Bruins. Notable for an average of ten SAT/AP references per class period, and saying the phrases "Now then..." or "I have seen it..." Discussions concerning cardboard and/or Colorado meteorology are not unheard of.

Notable Alumni

  • Kevin Mack (2006) Known to local sports reports as The Pain Train Mr. Mack is the subject of a school-wide collage project. He also owns an extensive pet-rock collection. They all have names.

Sworn Enemies

The sworn enemy of St. Francis, the Peruvian Llama
  • The most vile and useless creatures known to mankind, llamas have a nasty habit of sticking their lopsided heads into matters they cannot begin to comprehend. All llamas should be shot on site, as per St. Francis bylaws 54.145 and 64.133, as well as 15 SFC 1509.
File:Llamaheadshot.jpg
Wikipedia User PeruvianLlama, a typical Canadian
  • Newfie blowhards (pictured left)
  • As of October 5th, 2005, St. Francis High School officially declares war on both Canada and Peru. Check below for updates.








Warfare

  • On October 5th, 2005, St. Francis High School officially declared war on both Canada and Peru. Due to unchecked aggression and numerous instances of annoyance, both of these so-called 'sovereign nations' will soon be under the control of the Flying Spaghetti Monster's subsidiary eductional institution, St. Francis High School. As both of these nations have yet to develop modern warfare capability, and for that matter modern anything, we expect the war to be concluded in a matter of minutes.
  • Update- Approximately 7 minutes after war was declared on Canada, it succumbed to overwhelming ridicule and surrendered. As was expected, the French portions of Canada fell first, as they are in a perpetual state of surrender. Expect major news channels to begin reporting this in the next few weeks, as they only check up on Canada every month or so.
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