Talk:Assertiveness

This article is within the scope of WikiProject Philosophy, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of content related to philosophy on Wikipedia. If you would like to support the project, please visit the project page, where you can get more details on how you can help, and where you can join the general discussion about philosophy content on Wikipedia.PhilosophyWikipedia:WikiProject PhilosophyTemplate:WikiProject PhilosophyPhilosophy articles

???

This article has not yet received a rating on Wikipedia's content assessment scale.

???

This article has not yet received a rating on the project's importance scale.

Associated task forces:
/
	Ethics

I completely disagree!

Me too! What is a 'personal boundary', and why must it not be intruded on. Some of us see assertiveness training as a tool of political correctness which encourages differing, confused and illogical opinions while blocking true debate in search of truth. When people stick to reason they do not need to defend themselves by stupid techniques. --86.135.218.72 20:35, 7 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

As a practicing therapist I see that subassertiveness is a major problem for many clients. I also see it manifesting in many forms including failed careers, relationships and even sexual fetishes. We all must get our basic needs met in order to be happy in life. Assertiveness is the appropriate way to get these needs met when others are involved.

Whilst any information on any subject will stimulate thought - I agree that a typical list of 'do's and don'ts' is attractive advice but inauthentic in practice. Too many 'artists' have reached out to the populace with 'helpful tips' rather than respect that most communication behaviour is so deeply ingrained in us (and intricately connected) that only a step-by-step scientific understanding of it has a chance of teaching us more and thereby teaching others. However, learning to 'respect' through which ever means ought not be condemned.

I find it ironic how assertiveness is regarded as the "respectful" way to stand up for one's rights, yet whenever I see assertiveness mentioned, I always find a definition of aggressive made to match. Clearly it strikes me that assertiveness is oxymoronic in that aggressiveness is labeled as something which is clearly negative in attempt to convince the 'reader' they need to change. --Resaebiunne 03:34, 2 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

This entry should be deleted

Assertiveness is such a bullshit term is not even funny. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 66.201.166.169 (talk) 23:25, 6 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I disagree Al.locke 03:51, 13 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]

So do I. It is great to be assertive. [1] —Preceding unsigned comment added by 70.132.133.60 (talk) 06:50, 7 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Assertiveness assumes people are rational beings

Assertiveness assumes that people are rational beings, when in fact we are not. If irrational responses arise, the assertive person seems on the ready to let them know how reasonable they (the assertive person) have been. Before we bothered with this passive/aggressive imposition we had a lot of other traits such as politeness and consideration by which we negotiated our way towards compromise. What i have noticed about assertiveness is that the assertive seem to bulldoze in with their needs, talk a lot about having their needs met and seem to emphasise how abusive everyone is when their needs are not met. To me it is so often an irritating and manipulative form of communication. Let me talk with the polite and considerate as they have the groups interest in mind - as soon as i hear that selfish assertive tone, i immediately want to leave the room.

Hmmm, and self esteem - try holding everyone in high regard.

I enjoy the fact that all the criticism of the use of the term assertiveness or the elaboration of that term in this article are characterized with an aggressive tone. Aggressive people can't stand assertive people because Assertives stand up to them without forcing their will upon them. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 137.82.142.130 (talk) 21:32, 31 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Fear

How are we to deal with fear of being assertive with people? —Preceding unsigned comment added by 58.106.233.69 (talk) 05:53, 29 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Assertiveness - Proto-aggression?

The term "assertiveness" in business circles may refer to a practised use of rudeness or proto-aggression to intimidate people. The idea being to be sufficiently rude as to appear threatening, and of going as close as possible to, but without overstepping the line of being accused of violent behaviour. It is a technique often practiced by managerial staff who fear that (for various reasons, but most often through their total lack of on-the-job skills) they will otherwise not be respected or obeyed by the workforce. As the article mentions, it may also include behavior such as the 'broken record' which is in principle no different from being a phone-pest, and is equally reprehensible.

The downfall of such people as who routinely practice "assertiveness" is that it may become their behavioural norm, after which they will have difficulty forming relationships or acquiring friends. Often the "asserter" will be unaware of their own constant, habitual rudeness, and will strenuously deny it even when it is pointed-out. --Anteaus (talk) 21:07, 23 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Personal opinion

Most people are either aggressive or passive. Very few people are assertive all the time. Being assertive is hard. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 83.228.89.2 (talk) 20:02, 8 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"A person communicates assertively by not being afraid to speak his or her mind or trying to influence others, but doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of others." - yeah right! Like it's possible. NOT! 78.130.136.199 (talk) 09:46, 14 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]