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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by 76.121.4.143 (talk) at 05:36, 14 November 2009 (→Canglesea). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Vladivostok Air

I've listed this article for peer review because the author is seeking feedback and wishes to improve it to GA-Class.


Thanks,

Canglesea (talk) 23:35, 4 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Born2flie

Introduction
  • consider moving the sentence, "...is the largest carrier in the Russian Far East and Siberia." to the second sentence in the first paragraph, or appending it to the first sentence, as this is what seems to most significantly establish notability in the article.
  • Additionally is such a clumsy word for the introduction. "Additionally, Vladivostok Air offers charter flights and well established helicopter services." Consider, "Vladivostok Air also offers charter flights, and has a well established helicopter service."
  • The use of the it pronoun twice in the same sentence can be confusing. Perhaps, "The airline's main hub is...with secondary hubs at..."?
  • The whole second paragraph is difficult and doesn't seem to meet the intent of an introduction.
History
  • The use of plane, airplane, and aeroplane is discouraged because of disputes between English dialect spellings. Aircraft is acceptable and to distinguish between helicopters and airplanes, fixed-wing aircraft should be used.
  • First paragraph, I'm confused about the flight of the hydroplane...which I assume is a floatplane or some other amphibious aircraft; did it complete its first flight, or first arrive to begin service?
  • Some of the language may be too much of a narrative, "That September day..." That whole sentence could possibly be joined and edited with the previous sentence for a complete thought in summary style.

I'll have to look at more later. --Born2flie (talk) 01:58, 12 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Canglesea

The only thing I noticed, were some typos, which I fixed, and the overuse of additive terms like "additionally, and "also". The term "additionally' appears three times in the "Recent news" section; once would suffice. Also, the section headings should be in lower case: "Jet Era and Expansion" should be "Jet era and expansion". Otherwise, well done! - Canglesea (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much! I'll get to the edits soon. --76.121.4.143 (talk) 05:36, 14 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

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