Stonehenge Apocalypse
| Stonehenge Apocalypse | |
|---|---|
| Directed by | Paul Ziller |
| Written by | Brad Abraham and Paul Ziller |
| Produced by | John Prince |
| Starring | Misha Collins Torri Higginson Peter Wingfield Robot Head |
| Cinematography | Anthony C. Metchie |
| Edited by | Christopher A. Smith |
| Music by | Michael Neilson |
| Distributed by | SyFy |
Release dates | June 12th, 2010 |
| Country | USA |
| Language | English |
Stonehenge Apocalypse is a 2010 made-for-TV science fiction movie starring Misha Collins, Torri Higginson and Peter Wingfield. The movie follows a series of deaths, natural disasters, robot heads and strange energy readings that seem to be mysteriously connected to Stonehenge.
Plot
What plot? STONEHENGE HAS NO PLOT. STONEHENGE NEEDS NO PLOT.
Castiel stole Dean's clothes and is now a scientist who comes all over the Stonehenge because it randomly moved around and killed some tourists. All the scientists are at a major loss but Castiel basically tells them what to do with all this electromagnetic electromagnetism and constantly reinforces he did not claim there were aliens on the Moon, it was a robot head.
Suddenly, gamma waves are atomic and my god, the planet is being terraformed, so Castiel and Dr. Weir drive over to America again to find an electromagnetic key that will hopefully stop pyramids blowing up into volcanoes all over the world. One of Castiel's old "colleagues" - damn you Joseph! - is trying to form his own little electromagnetic cult underground while the Stonehenge kills the world and a fight happens in a museum with easily smash-able glass cases. Post-fight, Joseph has an emotional conversation with Castiel in which he begs Castiel to come spend eternity with him in an electromagnetic pyramid, where they can rule over a cult of electromagnetic minions. Castiel tells him to bugger off. This makes Joseph sad and electromagnetic. Joseph and his own little cult run off to a pyramid arbitrarily beneath Maine, activates the device's rust removal power, and the pyramid, whilst Castiel tracks him down with a magical EMF tracker (not that this matters as the pyramid becomes very obvious when it bursts out the ground for some reason) that he stole from Dean Winchester.
Joseph buggers off again and is tracked and killed by Castiel, who nicks off with the mechanism. Castiel and the scientist dither about a bit with Weir bleeding all over the place, drive back to the Stonehenge and will hopefully save the world or maybe end it... one of Joseph's cultists who wasn't a cultist before shoots the scientists milling about at Stonehenge (despite the fact that a nuclear missile is about to be shot at the place), and of course follows Castiel with a magical gun that never runs out of bullets (ever). Castiel then overreacts twice. Once because some assbutt steps on his hand while he's trying to save the world, and second because it was a robot head. Funnily enough he saves the day, by deactivating Stonehenge (but not before it deactivates the nuke). He dies though, so Weir takes his place as a loony on the radio. electromagnetic.
It should be noted, however, that rumours of Castiel's death have been greatly exaggerated in the past. He just won't stay dead. Expect 'Stonehenge Apocalypse 2: Electric Boogaloo' to feature a reincarnated/magically surviving Castiel, possibly 'new and improved' with mystical powers from getting so close to all the electromagnetic electromagnetism.
Some scholars maintain that Stonehenge Apocalypse is best understood as an electromagnetic allegory but most believe that it's a literal account. They believe it is a missing piece of the Winchester Chronicles and must be considered a part of the 'Changing Channels' canon in order to understand its deeper symbolism. Many have speculated that Gabriel banished Castiel to the SyFy B-movie realm as punishment for attempting to prematurely reveal Gabriel's identity to Sam and Dean. This is a controversial topic amongst Winchester scholars.
IT WAS A ROBOT HEAD!
Trivia
Misha Collins is wearing a jacket that is identical to one he often wears at conventions. This led to fan speculation that he is wearing his own clothes the entire time, including the necklace with the One Ring that he will one day use to conquer the world.
The movie repeatedly references a conspiracy theory that there is a robot head on the moon[1]. When accused of claiming that aliens were found on the moon, Jacob replies with the movie's catch phrase: "It was a robot head!”
The English accents in this film are alleged to have been taught by the same vocal coach as Dick Van Dyke and Keanu Reeves
The movie was filmed in Vancouver, British Columbia, the same area where the TV series Supernatural is filmed. Misha is a regular on Supernatural, and it has garnered him a large fan following, many of whom had been counting the days until Stonehenge Apocalypse aired since last year.
Thanks to the combined star appeal of Torri Higginson, Peter Wingfield, Hill Harper and Misha Collins, there has been some speculation that Stonehenge Apocalypse is the first SyFy movie ever to have been watched for reasons other than "I was bored and there was nothing else on".
Many viewers made the mistake of thinking this movie was supposed to be serious. It was in fact intended to be a comedy, but this appears to have been lost in translation.
Many of Misha's loyal fans, in anticipation for the movie premiere, baked wonderful Stonehenge-based goodies. There was a Twinkie-Stonehenge and a brownie-Stonehenge and Stonehenges drawn on cake with icing, and many more wondrous treats, that were probably very delicious. If you wish to see pictures, you must infiltrate the Primordial Hill or search the internet long and hard.
It is a known fact among fans that there is nearly nothing that cannot be crossed over with Stonehenge Apocalypse.
The undeniable on screen sexual tension between Collins' Jacob and Harper's Lesham is rumoured to have been inspired by the well-received on screen chemistry on the show Supernatural between Collins' character Castiel and Jensen Ackles' Dean Winchester.
Cast
- Misha Collins ... Jacob "Sex God" Glaser
- Torri Higginson ... Kaycee Baybee
- Peter Wingfield ... Dr. John Trouserdale
- Hill Harper ... DamnyouJoseph Lesham
- It ... A Robot Head
- Raptor Jesus ... Himself
- Chuck Shirley ... Himself
Reception
Stonehenge Apocalypse drew 2.1 million viewers during its premiere. [2] Most of the credit for this goes to the numerous pretty Misha closeups and Misha-in-handcuffs scenes used to compensate for the lack of plot. SyFy, you're doing it rite.
Errors and Plotholes
Much of the action takes place at Stonehenge. As has been pointed out in many reviews, there are no goddamn mountains on Salisbury Plain. Also, one does not simply walk into Stonehenge. The stones there are guarded by more than just fences.
This film obviously reuses footage at times.
Misha changes his clothes only once during the movie, and the film forgot to show it happening.
The time sequence is fairly chaotic as in 30 hours there are a few transatlantic flights and random driving and locking people up in primary schools (which have prisons inside) and saving the world.
Several close-up shots are seen of the stones at Stonehenge. Unfortunately, these close-ups show that 'Stonehenge' is not Stonehenge at all, but Foamhenge.
Allowing Torri Higginson to try to use an English accent.
Letting Misha out of the handcuffs.
Shooting some scenes without any Misha.
Failing to expand on the blatantly homoerotic relationship between Jacob and Joseph.
Failure to explain what that One Ring on his neck was even for and why he gave it to Dr Weir.
Small guns only have a certain amount of ammo.
The pillars of Stonehenge are partially underground in order to keep them standing straight. However in the movie they appear to just be standing on top of the ground.
The original catchphrase for the film was, "Stonehenge, which of course in German means 'a whale's vagina.'" Writers changed this because they felt they wouldn't be able to convincingly insert the phrase into casual conversation. Instead, they used, "It was a robot head!"
The Antikythera Mechanism is actually researched (unlike the rest of the "science" which is cheerfully imagined by someone who never even looked at a Physics textbook).
External links
References
- ^ "Data's Head". Retrieved 2010-06-21.
{{cite web}}: Cite has empty unknown parameter:|coauthors=(help) - ^ Gorman, Bill. "Syfy's Original Movie Stonehenge Apocalypse Draws 2.1 Million Total Viewers During June 12 Premiere". Retrieved 2010-06-21.
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