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Talk:Women's rights in Tonga

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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by LupeAguilera (talk | contribs) at 05:42, 24 April 2012. The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Template:WAP assignment

Hi Brendan Could you please post comments and ask for feedback on the article talk page?? In order to improve your article it would be a good idea to start communicating on the talk page. thanks Diksha41 (talk) 06:50, 19 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

You need to change your article title from "Women" to "Women's" BerikG (talk) 15:24, 19 April 2012 (UTC)BerikG[reply]

Also, I added the course banner. BerikG (talk) 15:26, 19 April 2012 (UTC)BerikG[reply]

Peer Review

This topic is very interesting, and I look forward to reading the completed product! My revisions mostly regard depth and organization of the article and the need for more references all throughout. In general the major revisions needed regard:

  1. The format. Revision and more organization are needed so that the article flows better. Perhaps begin with an introductory paragraph; then background on Tongan social structure, demography, politics, etc.; followed by CEDAW and Tonga; then Specific inequalities; and conclude with reforms towards women's rights.
  2. More references. Throughout the article references are minimal, and the facts presented are more credible with proper citations (furthermore, original research is discouraged from my understanding).
  3. Flow of the article. Perhaps reorganizing the format of the article would make the flow better, in addition each section needs to be reviewed for grammatical errors.

The following are comments and suggestions by section:

  • "Gender Inequalities in Tonga": needs to be prefaced with content prior to jumping into statistics. There are also a few grammatical errors.
  • "Demography": more content is needed as to why it is important that the population is nearly 50-50, you may want to include scholarly work on sex-selective births and how that relates (or doesn't relate) to Tonga in specific.
  • " Tongan Culture and CEDAW": needs expansion on the laws discussed and more information in the last sentence. What exactly is the "perceived oppression of women"? Also, what exactly is "women['s]...place in Tongan society"?
  • "Kin Based Stratification": include detail as to how this relates to the main topic.
  • "Family Decision Making": review for grammatical errors.
  • "Women's Land Rights": consider putting this topic and all others that directly discuss specific inequalities under a general heading.
  • "Land Ownership Reformations": more details are needed about the purpose of the Ministry of Women's Affairs and the expectations of the Ministry.
  • " Violence Against Women": consider including some statistics.
  • "Reform and Protecting Women": more references are needed (this applies to the article in general).
  • "Women's Political Participation in Tonga": more focus (on content directly related to the heading) and detail should be put into this section.
  • "Cultural Attitudes and Social Norms": review for grammatical errors, consider including more detail about the cultural and social norms, and providing statistics if there are any.

In general this topic is very interesting and once edited I think it will be great. I hope my comments help.

LupeAguilera (talk) 05:42, 24 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

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