Talk:Dario Fo/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 12:53, 2 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be glad to take this review. Initial comments to follow in the next 1-3 days. Thanks in advance for your work on this one! -- Khazar2 (talk) 12:53, 2 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Actually, before proceeding, I'd like to check to see if anyone is still active on this article and interested in doing the work for a GA review. I see a few issues at first glance that will need to be addressed, such as information in the lead section that isn't in the article body (a WP:LEAD problem), and a number of very long paragraphs (a WP:LAYOUT problem). -- Khazar2 (talk) 13:00, 2 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

A few other misc. comments:

" From this period arise accusations that Fo was part of Mussolini's Republican army" -- how prevalent are these accusations? The article presents Fo's version in Wikipedia's voice, as fact; this might be an NPOV issue.
" Thus came Fo's first run-in with the new government of Silvio Berlusconi, which banned Italians under the age of 18 from seeing it over fears, it said, that the play could "cause offence to the common decency which requires respect for spheres of decency, and provoke distress among adolescent spectators, with possible effects on their behaviour in relation to sex", thus defeating the original purpose of the performance" -- this very long sentence (which even uses "thus" twice) could probably be broken into two or three smaller ones.
"By a peculiar coincidence," -- this phrase could be cut as a bit of unneeded commentary; sufficient to simply say his reaction was filmed.

I'll hold off on further comments for now until I'm sure this review is "live". Thanks to everybody working on this important article! -- Khazar2 (talk) 13:00, 2 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Thanks. I'll get to the rest in the next 1-3 days. -- Khazar2 (talk) 16:24, 7 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry I've been slower to get to this than planned; I've had some health issues slowing me down. Haven't forgotten you, though. -- Khazar2 (talk) 22:11, 9 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, looking at the above again, I'm not sure these issues are really resolved. First, the lead and layout issues appear to remain; take a look at WP:LEAD and MOS:PARAGRAPHS (on the long paragraphs issue).

Done

Second, I'm still not sure how well the Republican Army controversy is being addressed in terms of NPOV. The article presents Fo's version of events (joining Navy, deserting repeatedly) as fact but gives no voice to the accusations against him. Who has made these accusations? Are they widely discussed enough to be included here? It seems like if we give three sentences to Fo's defense of himself, a quotation from his accusers might also be appropriate--but I don't know how much weight reliable sources tend to give these accusations. Let me know your thoughts, and thanks again for your work. -- Khazar2 (talk) 13:12, 13 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

That's all it says in the book. "This was later to lead to accusations against him of being a member of Mussolini's Republican Army." Followed by the quote giving his response. If you wish and if you think its use here is inappropriate I suppose you could remove the sentence "In response to suggestions he was part of Mussolini's Republican army, Fo wrote: "At the end it was like coming out of a nightmare, an absurdity which seemed endless. This is another reason why I get angry when I'm accused of being a Republican. I see it as an insult against all those years of suffering which my family, my friends and the people of my town had to go through." The citation at the end also covers the previous sentence about him sleeping rough in the countryside.