Talk:Whitney Russell/GA1
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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 11:18, 1 June 2016 (UTC)
Happy to take on this. I will take a few days to post all my comments. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 11:18, 1 June 2016 (UTC)
- Thank you very much! Take all the time you need. Aoba47 (talk) 15:49, 1 June 2016 (UTC)
No dablinks, no copyvio detected. Fairly well-written, only a few comments:
- Background
- Passions followed romantic and supernatural adventures in the fictional, coastal, New England town of Harmony A paraphrase of this would make a good start for this article, and later you will not have to say what "Harmony" means.
- Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- You may like to day "25" instead of "twenty five" per WP:MOSNUM, just a style unless it looks too "numbery".
- Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- Wikilink Russell family and Lopez-Fitzgerald (to Lopez-Fitzgerald family)
- Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- Casting and characterization
- "Twenty-nine" would look better as "29"
- Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- Wikilink Brook Kerr. There is no problem in repeating links from the lead (though it is not of much use for very short articles).
- Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- Add who Chad Harris-Crane and Tracey Ross were in the program.
- Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- Storylines
- For some characters you mention who played them, for others you don't.
- Done. I meant to take these out before so I apologize for this. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- Don't leave paras unsourced. Use some inline citations so that verifiability is ensured. Also note that placing a ref. at the end of a lot of text means all of it is supported by this ref. (ref. 9 may thus be misconstrued) so this situation needs to be fixed.
- Done. I added citations to episodes where necessary. I can't cite everything as certain sentences cover weeks, months, and sometimes years of the show, but I added the references to specific episodes when necessary. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- with her sister Simone Was she Whitney's only sibling? Mention the others
- Whitney only has one sibling (Simone). Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- I don't think a link is needed for "crush"
- Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- resulting in Chard being erroneously identified You mean "Chad"?
- Done. That is embarrassing. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- she is pregnant with Miles Harris-Crane You should say "with Chad's child (who would later be known as Miles Harris-Crane)"
- Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- becoming known as Whitney Russell Harris-Crane This should be mentioned as an "a.k.a." name in the first line of the lead.
- For soap opera characters, it is encouraged to use the common name for the character and I was discouraged from using maiden name or married names in the lead. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- You may like to use a few subheadings, as in Ruth Archer.
- Done. I was advised against subheadings in a previous review for a different soap opera character, but I prefer the subheadings too. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
Rest looks good. Would be happy to promote once the above comments are addressed. Cheers, Sainsf (talk · contribs) 10:20, 3 June 2016 (UTC)
- @Sainsf: Thank you for the review! You have provided a lot of very helpful advice. I have addressed all your comments; let me know if there is anything else that needs to be changed/improved. Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- Cool! This can now be promoted. Great job! Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:10, 4 June 2016 (UTC)
- Thank you! You are a big help; I look forward to working with you in the future. Aoba47 (talk) 05:22, 4 June 2016 (UTC)