User talk:KHorton98/sandbox
Hi Kayla
All four topics seem interesting. Choose whichever interests you the most!
Peer Review
[edit]Hey, I enjoyed reading your working on the Future effects of heat waves. The work was well written in a scientific manner and provided good insight into the future implications of GHG emissions on the intensity of future heat waves. Having said this, the section needs transition words to link the sentences together. It feels kind of choppy with many discrete facts and statements which if done right could be made into one compelling and easy to read paragraph. You kept a neutral tone throughout this subsection which is excellent. Other than having to work on making it flow better, you have done great work. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lakhdeep97 (talk • contribs) 20:46, 23 March 2019 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Hi, so far your draft is looking really good and I think the section you chose to write about, being what the future holds for heat waves, is really interesting! I like that throughout your draft you use various external links so the reader is able to connect ideas and see how different topics relate to heat waves. Something that might help improve your draft is rewording the second sentence in the first paragraph. I liked that you linked the future of heat waves to past events, however, it is worded a little awkward. Another thing that stood out to me was the first and second sentences in the second paragraph about carbon uptake. They do not seem to flow nicely and maybe could be reworded and put into one sentence. Another few things I wanted to mention was that you were able to find good reliable sources and you were able to maintain a neutral point of view throughout your draft. Overall, your draft seems really good and I hope you find my suggestions helpful! Mitchell11998 (talk) 02:06, 24 March 2019 (UTC)
Vic's Peer Review
[edit]Hi KHorton98,
What you have so far is supported by reliable sources and consists of a neutral tone. Moving forward it may be wise to integrate multiple sources within a given paragraph, rather than producing a paragraph for each source material. This will not only balance your coverage but improve the dynamics of your content. It is also worth mentioning that transition words will help to connect your ideas better and improve the overall structure.VicBlake (talk) 03:16, 24 March 2019 (UTC)