User talk:StraussInTheHouse
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Draft: Edmond J. Safra Foundation
Dear StraussInTheHouse,
I appreciate the opportunity to resubmit a draft following your invitation. This draft follows your suggestions. I added multiple sources throughout the text and edited out some sections of the text where the sources were lacking. My main objective was to follow the Wikipedia rules for quality content in encyclopedia format.
Example concerning objective tone:
Concerning the formal tone expected of a Wikipedia article, I also made some changes here. I removed the peacock terms, and rewrote some parts with a more factual tone. "Leading" and "major" were taken out from the first sentence, which initially read: "The Edmond J. Safra Foundation was established in 1999 by Edmond J. Safra, a leading international banker and major philanthropist, to ensure that needy individuals and organizations would always continue to receive his assistance and encouragement." It is now phrased: "The Edmond J. Safra Foundation was established in 1999 by Edmond J. Safra, an international banker and philanthropist , “to ensure that needy individuals and organizations would continue to receive his assistance and encouragement for many years to come.”
Example regarding sources:
The next paragraph initially lacked any source, it now includes four sources, as you can see in the new submission: "Following Edmond J. Safra’s passing in 1999, and now under the chairmanship of his wife, Mrs. Lily Safra, the Foundation has supported hundreds of projects in over 40 countries. Its work encompasses four areas: Science and Medicine, Education, Religion, and General Philanthropy."
I wish that you will find this new draft in compliance with all Wikipedia rules that aim to provide quality content on relevant subjects with a neutral point of view. I truly believe that the Edmond J. Safra Foundation is a subject worthy of interest for Wikipedia users.
I will be very happy to discuss any matter regarding this subject with you. Could you please give me your feedbacks on this ?
You can find the draft page here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Edmond_J._Safra_Foundation#1._Science_and_Medicine
TychéS19 (talk) 17:47, 13 February 2020 (UTC)
- Hi TychéS19, apologies for the delayed response, I've been a bit busy lately. Thank you for message. I note that you have resubmitted your draft, however, the tone could still do with a little bit of improvement, although I recognise that this draft is an improvement on the previous draft. I am inclined to agree with your assessment that the topic could meet the organisation notability guideline. My advice to you now would be to convert the article from bullet points to prose. The problem with bullet points in an article about any company, organisation or person is that it can make the content come across as a curriculum vitae, which compromises the neutrality of the article. Many thanks, SITH (talk) 15:56, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- Dear StraussInTheHouse, I am glad that you agree that the topic meets the organisation notability guideline. Many thanks also for your guidance on style and tone. I will rewrite this draft to convert bullet points into prose. If I understand correctly, the question of tone is one of format rather than one of specific text? Your help is deeply appreciated. Regards TychéS19 (talk) 17:19, 26 March 2020 (UTC)
Add an article in Wikipedia About "National Aquaculture Group" in English and Arabic
Hi StraussInTheHouse,
We need your support to add an article to Wikipedia about "National Aquaculture Group (NAQUA)" in two languages "English and Arabic".
Can you please support us in this regard?
Waiting for your reply...
Regards, Yawar Nawaz — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ynawaz (talk • contribs) 12:06, 23 March 2020 (UTC)
- Hi Ynawaz, thanks for your message! I would need to assess the organisation's notability as indicated by significant coverage in independent, reliable sources first. You mention "we" - are you affiliated to the organisation in any way? Also, I can't speak or write in Arabic, but I would have thought Arabic Wikipedia would have something along the lines of English Wikipedia's requested articles where you could request someone writes on the topic. However, it would be much quicker, provided that you disclose any conflicts of interest, to write it yourself and get experienced editors' input on your draft using the Articles for Creation process. I am one of the participants in that project, so if that's the route you choose, I look forward to seeing your draft. This page may be useful to get you started. Many thanks, SITH (talk) 14:11, 23 March 2020 (UTC)