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A bumnose is popular Pembrokeshire slang for a person with a large indentation in their nose. It was first used as a specific insult against Mark Roberts, the original bumnose. However now it is a general word, thrown about seemingly at random.

Physical Properties

The rest of this article will deal with the subject of bumnose in the physical sense.

As previously mentioned the bumnose is in fact a dent in the nose, resembling the human buttocks. It seems to bring sexual pleasure when rubbed through a process that is not yet understood. The bumnose does not actually open into the nasal cavity, preventing any kind of intercourse. However this does not stop people trying. In September of 2003 Christopher Harries suffered severe trauma of the penis when he attempted to force entry into the bumnose of an unnamed person. He was sentanced to three months in prison for assault. Due to the legal definition of rape and sexual assault, he was unable to prosecuted for anything more than assault.

Some people believe that the bumnose is merely the next step in human evolution. They say that as man evolved from monkey he developed face-to-face mating. This is merely an extension: true face-to-face mating.

Experimentation

Since being discovered, the original bumnose Mark Roberts has been taken in for scientific experimentation. His typical day consists of an eight hour sleeping session, followed by a light breakfast. He is then taken to the experimentation room. Here he is hooked up to various monitors which keep a check on his blood pressure, heart rate, levels of seratonin and adrenalin in his system and, most importantly, his sexual arousal. Then the experiments begin. A scientist carefully stimulates the bumnose, first with a finger, then with a carrot. The carrot is important as it brings Mark memories of his first lover, Thomas Gladman, who had a head of orange hair. It is hoped that these experiments can bring about cures to everything from the common cold, to cancer.

Future?

The future of the bumnose is unknown. Due to the recent activities of the scientific community, many people are feeling unsettled. there seems to be a divide; those who view the bumnose as normal human beings, and those who think of them as rats to be destroyed. Either way, a war is brewing. And when the bumnoses rise against us. None will be safe. May god have mercy on our souls.