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Dating preferences refers to the preferences that individuals have towards a potential partner when approaching the formation of a romantic relationship. This concept is related to mate choice in humans, the research literature there primarily discusses the preference for traits that are evolutionarily desirable, such as physical symmetry, waist-to-chest ratio, and waist-to-hip ratio. Dating preferences, differs in that there are often social mechanisms that explain phenomena, rather than strictly evolutionary.

Research

Ideal preferences debate

Currently, the body of research regarding ideal preferences, specifically whether preferences for certain traits in an individual translate to relationship formation with individuals who match those preferences, is marked by controversy and debate.

Ideal preference in a potential dating partner can manifest in many different ways. For example, people have been found to prefer partners who are emotionally mature, open to feedback and new experiences, honest, respectful, sensitive, independent, empathetic, physically affectionate, and humorous.[1] However, the body of research regarding ideal preferences, specifically whether preferences for certain traits in an individual translate to relationship formation with individuals who match those preferences, is marked by controversy and debate.

One side of the research asserts that ideal partner preference can predict the types of individuals a person seeks when forming new relationships. In a study led by Lorne Campbell, one of the researchers in support of the link between ideal preference and relationship formation, it was found that when a person's ideal preference aligns with a potential partner's self-perception, it predicts relationship formation. The study found this correlation even when controlling for qualities that are often seen as stereotypically sought after by most individuals, showing that the link was attributed to the alignment of ideal preference and self-perception.[2] Additionally, studies on the impact of music preferences provide support to this assertion. Research has found that when people share preferences for similar music, they are likely to experience social attraction towards one another because musical preference can be linked to a person's values.[3] This is built on research that has shown people's music preference can predict aspects of their personality, such as their openness, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and extraversion.[4] Though this research is not specifically related to romantic relationships, it provides further evidence of the link between preferences and relationships.

The other side of the debate, which asserts ideal partner preference does not link to relationship formation, includes researchers Eastwick and Finkel. One piece of their research, in which they studied people's judgments of the characteristics of potential romantic partners, found that the preferences people report on the dimensions of physical attractiveness, earning prospects, and personability for potential partners do not align with the characteristics of the people they genuinely seek when forming new relationships. Although they were unable to identify a mechanism to explain why this is the case, the direction of their results were clearly contrasting the notion of a linkage between ideal preference and relationship formation.[5][6] In another study of theirs, it was found that if there was a difference between ideal preferences and potential partner traits in face-to-face meeting contexts, it did not predict worse relationship satisfaction than contexts where ideal preferences and potential partner traits align.[7] In addition, it was found that although people believe they will prefer an individual whose characteristics match personal preferences, after having brief interactions with those individuals, that initial perception of attraction would fade.[8] Similar to the work of Eastwick and Finkel, researchers Selterman and Gideon found that when evaluating the link between people's impression of a potential partner's qualities, such as physical attraction, career prospects, ambition, friendliness, responsiveness, charisma, etc., and their attraction towards those people, these preferences did not predict attraction.[9]

In a response to this opposition, Campbell and colleagues conducted a meta-analysis of the body of ideal preferences research to determine the cause of the discrepancy between their and opposing claims. In this review, it was discovered that less than 5% of the studies used by Eastwick and Finkel focused on the link between ideal preferences and initial relationship formation, while the remaining majority of studies evaluate general attraction and processes later in people's relationships. As a result, a call for more studies specifically investigating the link between ideal preferences and relationship formation was made for the benefit of ideal preferences research as well as general relationships research.[10]

Race

General preference

One designation of the research on dating preferences is the preferences of race, which still plays a role in selecting a dating partner.[11] One study investigated the preference for dating members of different races among members of each race, attempting to identify trends that may provide insights into why members of certain races may prefer members of their own or other races. Differences in dating preferences across races was found to exist, with Whites having the strongest ingroup dating preference among the races, and a stronger preference for Hispanics over Asians and Blacks, Asians and Hispanics having a strong preference for Whites over any other race, including members of their own race, and Blacks preferring ingroup dating the most and asians. The study explained that preference for Whites can be explained by social dominance theory, which claims that people want to improve their social standing, and will prefer relationships with members of the socially dominant race as a means of improving their standing. This may explain why for Hispanics and Asians, there was a stronger preference for Whites than their own race, which counteracts the similarity hypothesis, claiming people will prefer those who are similar to them.[12]

This concept of similarity hypothesis arises in a study concerning attraction to people whose race is that of their opposite-sex parent in biracial individuals, a hypothesis that comes from psychoanalytic theory. The study found that relationships for biracial individuals did not support the psychoanalytic perspective of attraction, but there was a significant preference for individuals whose race matched at least one of their parents, providing support for the similarity hypothesis. Additionally, preference for individuals whose ethnicity matched their parents was weaker for those with a diverse dating background, demonstrating that same-race preference may be a matter of experience rather than intrinsic preference.[13] Factors that influence the likelihood of preference for dating members of other races have been investigated, particularly social approval, social identity, and previous experience. Social approval refers to the perceived attitudes towards out-group dating of support networks, especially friends, family, and community, which was found to positively predict the formation of outgroup romantic relationships. Social identity refers to an individual's sense of belongingness, and a security in that identity, which was found to decrease the likelihood of dating other races. Previous experience, which included personal experience and experiences of people close to the individual, contributed to more open-minded attitudes toward other races, and increased the likelihood of dating members of other races.[14] At this time, the mechanisms to explain why these phenomena exist has not been clearly defined by researchers. Therefore, the reasons explaining the phenomena are merely speculative based on relatedness to existing theories that govern social interactions.[15]

Asian-American preferences

Various studies have specifically evaluated the implications of racial dating preferences among Asian-American individuals. In a study investigating the dating preference tendencies of Asian-American high school students, it was found that among the students, strength of one's own racial identity as well as closeness with family negatively predicted a preference for dating members of other races. These findings coincide with the similarity hypothesis, additionally demonstrating that the similarity hypothesis especially holds when individuals have strong, positive feelings towards their own race and strong relationships with other members of their same race, especially family members. In addition, the study found that a perception of racial discrimination against Asian-Americans predicted that individuals would prefer dating members of different races.[16] In a study on the dating preferences of queer Asian American men, the dimension of internalized racism was evaluated in its role in racial preferences for these individuals. Queer men and heterosexual women have been found to have a preference for dating White men, which the study found to be the case as a result of internalized racism. They also found that self-efficacy contributed to greater preference for same-race dating, paralleling the findings of the aforementioned study.[17]

Weight

Weight bias, or the social stigma of obesity describes the collection of negative attitudes towards individuals who are overweight, whose implications on dating has been found in research.[18] In a study on dating and hiring preferences on the basis of weight, around 1000 participants across were asked to report on their preference of individuals after being shown pictures of thinner and heavier individuals. The sexual preference of participants ranged from lesbian women, gay men, bisexual women, heterosexual men, and heterosexual women. This study found that there was a significant relationship between weight and dating preference, which varied across sexual preference. The bias towards thinner partners was found to be strongest for heterosexual participants and gay men, and weakest for lesbian and bisexual women. These findings demonstrate that although weight bias impacts heterosexual individuals and gay men, this effect does not appear among sexual minority women.[19]

Wanting/having children

The desire to have children, as well as already having children, impacts dating preference among individuals. Research has particularly found the impact that having and wanting children has on men's preferences for potential dating partners.[20] In a study on the impact of having or wanting children in the online dating scene, wanting and having children was found to have an impact on men's preferences for potential woman partners. Men who did not have children, or those who wanted them had a preference for younger women to a significantly greater extent than men who had children or did not want them. Generally, the study found that whether or not a men had or did not have children had more of an impact than whether they wanted to didn't want children.[21] Furthermore, in a study on the impact of having children in lesbian woman dating preferences, it was found that the exclusion of potential partners with children was dependent on race. Based on a combination of factors, including having children, excluding women with children, and others, White women were found to be the most exclusionary of potential partners with children, followed by Hispanic, followed by Black, followed by Asian.[22]

Psychological abuse

Research related to dating preferences for those who have encountered psychologically abusive relationships has demonstrated that negative experiences in relationships can cause people to prefer traits in individuals that are harmful to themselves, which can also be found in research on the Dark Triad of personality. Additionally, it has been shown that even when people leave relationships that are harmful for them, they will find themselves in future relationships that are equally as harmful.[23] In a study on psychological abuse and preferences for potential partners, it was found that women who have been the recipient of psychological abuse in a previous relationship are more likely to seek romantic relationships in which their partner exhibits characteristics of one who is psychologically abusive, such as impulsiveness and jealousy. Another finding from the study was related to the partner pursuits of perpetrators of psychological abuse, where for men who have psychologically abused a recent romantic partner, they prefer seeking romantic relationships with anxiously attached women, who are more likely to be victims of psychological abuse.[24]

References

  1. ^ PsychAlive (19 August 2013). "What to Look For in a Partner". PsychAlive. Retrieved 21 April 2023.
  2. ^ Campbell, Lorne; Chin, Kristi; Stanton, Sarah C. E. (1 January 2016). "Initial Evidence that Individuals Form New Relationships with Partners that More Closely Match their Ideal Preferences". Collabra. 2 (1). doi:10.1525/collabra.24. Retrieved 14 August 2023.
  3. ^ Boer, Diana; Fischer, Ronald; Strack, Micha; Bond, Michael H.; Lo, Eva; Lam, Jason (September 2011). "How Shared Preferences in Music Create Bonds Between People: Values as the Missing Link". Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 37 (9): 1159–1171. doi:10.1177/0146167211407521. ISSN 0146-1672. PMID 21543650. S2CID 7855700.
  4. ^ Rentfrow, Peter J.; Gosling, Samuel D. (March 2006). "Message in a Ballad: The Role of Music Preferences in Interpersonal Perception". Psychological Science. 17 (3): 236–242. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01691.x. ISSN 0956-7976. PMID 16507064. S2CID 16271901.
  5. ^ Eastwick, Paul W.; Finkel, Eli J. (2008). "Sex differences in mate preferences revisited: Do people know what they initially desire in a romantic partner?". Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 94 (2): 245–264. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.94.2.245. ISSN 1939-1315. PMID 18211175.
  6. ^ "Do we know what we want in a romantic partner? No more than a random stranger would". ScienceDaily. Retrieved 21 April 2023.
  7. ^ Eastwick, Paul W.; Finkel, Eli J.; Simpson, Jeffry A. (February 2019). "Best Practices for Testing the Predictive Validity of Ideal Partner Preference-Matching". Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 45 (2): 167–181. doi:10.1177/0146167218780689. ISSN 0146-1672. PMID 29947571. S2CID 49434432.
  8. ^ FInkel, Eli; Eastwick, Paul; Karney, Benjamin; Reis, Harry; Sprecher, Reis (2016). "Scientific American Mind: How to Find Love in a Digital World". Scientific American. Retrieved 4 April 2023.
  9. ^ Selterman, Dylan; Gideon, Sydney (1 September 2022). "Experiences of Romantic Attraction Are Similar Across Dating Apps and Offline Dates in Young Adults". Journal of Social Psychology Research: 145–163. doi:10.37256/jspr.1220221542. ISSN 2810-9767.
  10. ^ Campbell, Lorne; Stanton, Sarah C. E. (September 2014). "The Predictive Validity of Ideal Partner Preferences in Relationship Formation: What We Know, What We Don't Know, and Why It Matters: Ideal Preferences and Relationship Initiation". Social and Personality Psychology Compass. 8 (9): 485–494. doi:10.1111/spc3.12126.
  11. ^ "Questioning attitudes to dating across the color line". ScienceDaily. Retrieved 14 August 2023.
  12. ^ Chappetta, Kelsey; Barth, Joan (2022-06-01). "Interracial Dating: A Closer Look at Race and Gender Differences in Heterosexual Dating Preferences". Sexuality & Culture. 26 (3): 1060–1073. doi:10.1007/s12119-021-09931-9. ISSN 1936-4822. S2CID 245860756.
  13. ^ Heffernan, Marie E.; Chong, Jia Y.; Fraley, R. Chris (September 2019). "Are People Attracted to Others Who Resemble Their Opposite-Sex Parents? An Examination of Mate Preferences and Parental Ethnicity Among Biracial Individuals". Social Psychological and Personality Science. 10 (7): 856–863. doi:10.1177/1948550618794679. ISSN 1948-5506. S2CID 150136266.
  14. ^ Allen, Courtney K.; Uskul, Ayse K. (2019-01-01). "Preference for dating out-group members: Not the same for all out-groups and cultural backgrounds". International Journal of Intercultural Relations. 68: 55–66. doi:10.1016/j.ijintrel.2018.11.002. ISSN 0147-1767. S2CID 149949292.
  15. ^ Walton, Alice G. (5 November 2014). "Is Race a Factor in Dating?". Chicago Booth Review. Retrieved 14 August 2023.
  16. ^ Chan, Michele; Kiang, Lisa; Witkow, Melissa (September 2020). "Correlates of Ethnicity‐related Dating Preferences among Asian American Adolescents across the High School Years". Journal of Research on Adolescence. 30 (3): 669–686. doi:10.1111/jora.12551. ISSN 1050-8392. PMID 32077538. S2CID 211214926.
  17. ^ Le, Thomas P.; Kler, Satveer (2022-09-01). "Queer Asian American men's racialized dating preferences: The role of internalized racism and resistance and empowerment against racism". Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity. doi:10.1037/sgd0000602. ISSN 2329-0390. S2CID 252032083.
  18. ^ "Weight Bias". Obesity Action Coalition. Retrieved 2023-04-13.
  19. ^ Carels, Robert A.; Miller, J. Caroline; Shonrock, Abigail T.; Byrd, Rhonda; Sall, Kayla E.; Carraway, Marissa (November 2022). "Weight stigma among heterosexual and sexual minority individuals: Dating and hiring preferences". Stigma and Health. 7 (4): 481–490. doi:10.1037/sah0000382. ISSN 2376-6964.
  20. ^ Dolan, Eric W. (14 March 2023). "New study uncovers how having or wanting children influences age preferences when dating". PsyPost. Retrieved 14 March 2023.
  21. ^ Kramer, Robin S. S.; Jones, Alex L. (January 2023). "Wanting or having children predicts age preferences in online dating". Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences. 17 (1): 16–30. doi:10.1037/ebs0000274. ISSN 2330-2933. S2CID 240536816.
  22. ^ Rafalow, Matthew H.; Kizer, Jessica M. (3 July 2018). "Mommy markets: Racial differences in lesbians' dating preferences for women with children". Journal of Lesbian Studies. 22 (3): 297–312. doi:10.1080/10894160.2018.1383801. ISSN 1089-4160. PMID 29166216. S2CID 34355984.
  23. ^ Martin, Sharon (22 October 2020). "6 Tips for Ending a Cycle of Unhealthy Relationships". Psychology Today. Retrieved 14 August 2023.
  24. ^ Zayas, Vivian; Shoda, Yuichi (January 2007). "Predicting Preferences for Dating Partners From Past Experiences of Psychological Abuse: Identifying the Psychological Ingredients of Situations". Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 33 (1): 123–138. doi:10.1177/0146167206293493. ISSN 0146-1672. PMID 17178935. S2CID 15335413.
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