Talk:Cyclone Olivia/GA1
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Reviewer: Cyclonebiskit (talk · contribs) 12:36, 13 March 2016 (UTC)
- Lede
The storm moved generally to the southwest or west, gradually intensifying off Western Australia.
– I think just "moved generally to the southwest" would suffice here
- Fair enough. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
On 8 April, Olivia intensified into a severe tropical cyclone...
– link STC to Tropical cyclone scales#Australia and Fiji
- Ack, good call. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
Every house in Pannawonica sustained some damage, many of them being.
– I think you forgot to finish this sentence...just a hunch
- Hmm, I have no idea! Removed :) ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
- +1 for adding some preps this time around!
- WHOO!! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
- Meteorological history
A surge in the trade winds interacted with the monsoon trough to produce an area of convection.
– Need some sort of date here, even if it's just a month (year will also need to be included)
- Eek, yea, otherwise that's extremely random. Thanks :) ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
Shortly thereafter, the BoM upgraded the system to a Category 1 cyclone
– TC scales link needed here
- Added. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
... JTWC to upgrade it to a Category 1 equivalent on the Saffir–Simpson Hurricane Scale (SSHS), estimating 1 minute sustained winds of 120 km/h (75 mph).
– Need to mention that JTWC uses one-minute winds around here, rather than when it reaches its peak
- Striking mistake on my part. ~ Cyclonebiskit (chat) 21:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
Around the same time, the BoM upgraded Olivia to a severe tropical cyclone, assessing similar wind speeds.
– same as above, but for BoM and ten-minute winds
- I added "assessing similar wind speeds but sustained over 10 minutes." Does that work? ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
By 9 April, the system attained Category 4 intensity as it continued to strengthen.
– BoM or JTWC? (source is to BoM, but it needs to be specified)
- Thanks, clarified. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
- Impact and aftermath
- I rejiggered the section headers to split off the "Records" section, hopefully this isn't an issue~
- It looks perfect! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
Olivia also produced gusts of 267 km/h (166 mph) at Varanus Island, which was the highest wind gust on record in Australia, until the higher reading on Barrow Island was confirmed.
– Might be worth specifying that the higher reading was from Olivia—even though it should be super obvious given the opening sentence of the article—just to be extra sure.
- "until the higher reading on Barrow Island during the storm was confirmed." - that work? Good call on clarifying. Any records need to be very specific. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
Throughout the small town, 55 houses lost their roof and another 27 were damaged.
– If that accounts for every home in Pannawonica, I'd suggest rewording it to "Of the 82 houses in the small town, 55 lost their roof." (just to avoid some slight redundancy)
- Perfect. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
Solid article all around and rather close to being promoted. Should be an easy fix so I'm putting it on-hold for the time being. ~ Cyclonebiskit (chat) 12:36, 13 March 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks so much! I appreciate the thorough review. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
- Everything looks good now, passing the article. ~ Cyclonebiskit (chat) 21:37, 14 March 2016 (UTC)