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Talk:David Jacobs (table tennis)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 00:46, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Not much wrong with this article for GA level. Prose is fine, as is use/reliability of sources. Just minor quibbles:

  • "his three brothers also play table tennis" is that as of now? I would suggest rephrasing it to accommodate the present.
  • Done
  • Para table tennis career → Paralympic table tennis career
  • Done
  • What is the significance of adding "He was aged 34 at the time" where it currently is? If you feel it bares weight, perhaps expand on it, if not, remove.
  • I thought it was interesting that he was already that old and competing at an international level. Then again, I have no clue what the standards are for a table tennis player (a 34-year-old basketball player staying competitive at the international level would be incredible). Dropped.
  • Should "As of January 2012 he is married to Jeanny Palar, with whom he has one child" be where it is? You could rename 'Early life' to 'Early and personal life' and put it there as the final sentence.
  • It looks rather awkward there, methinks. I generally prefer keeping things chronological.

On hold for seven days. Lemonade51 (talk) 00:46, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

That was quick. Well, not as quick as the Seven minutes of terror but quick enough. Happy to pass this on the same day, nice job. Lemonade51 (talk) 01:08, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]