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Talk:Pancho Coimbre/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]
Lead
  • "1939-1942" Periods of time should be separated by endashes rather than hyphens (see WP:DASH), but in this case, it would better still as prose. E.g. "... this included four consecutive seasons from 1939 to 1942."
  • "(note: In those days the American government had changed the name of Puerto Rico to Porto Rico, pursuant to the Act of May 17, 1932)." I would put this into a footnote.
  • As above, I think "East-West" should use an endash.
  • I would suggest merging the second and third pars into just one par.
Baseball career
  • "At the moment the team needed additional players and he was selected by the team's owner, Pipo Maldonado." What do you mean by "at the moment"? It appears to date it to now, rather than presumably then.
  • Wikilink "right fielder"
  • "an oiler city" Forgive my possible ignorance, but I don't understand what "oiler city" is.
LBPPR
Retirement
  • "Following his retirement Coimbre began working as the coach of the Leones de Ponce, he participated in two Caribbean Series with the team." Another sentence with two clauses without a conjunction to link them.
  • "Coimbre began promoting an idea that focused in the performance of the team, instead of the success of individual players." This sounds quite interesting and deserving of either more details or further explanation.
General
  • Scores and seasons, e.g. 2–1 and 1944–45, should use endashes not hyphens.
  • Add a comma after introductory phrases, e.g. "In the last game of this series, Coimbre ..."; "In 1935, he moved ..."
  • The article is light on wikilinks.

I'll place it on hold, but it's fairly close to the GA requirement. Peanut4 (talk) 23:26, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, I will deal with these shortly, after some issues with my PC are resolved. - Caribbean~H.Q. 23:34, 11 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
No worries. Take as long as you need because it shouldn't take too long to resolve. I'll keep it on hold for as long as you need. Peanut4 (talk) 23:40, 11 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I began working with the review, it took longer than expected because Daniel Santos won his fight ahead of schelude, cheers. - Caribbean~H.Q. 03:13, 12 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Most of it looks fine. Just the two points from the book, and the MOS general issues above. Peanut4 (talk) 12:03, 12 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Final review
GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Well done, pretty much everything looks tip-top. My only thing I would say is to have a look at WP:CITE for the references. You don't need to say the title of the book each time it is used. Anyway, I've passed it. Good work. Peanut4 (talk) 23:54, 13 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again, I just finished a final run linking the baseball jargon and doing other tweaks. - Caribbean~H.Q. 00:17, 14 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]